I entered the penthouse. Romero was there and practically sagged with relief. “She’s here,” he said into his phone, then nodded before ending the call.

“Where’s Luca? Back with his whore?”

Romero frowned. “Searching for you.”

“I’m surprised he bothers. He could have sent you or one of his other lapdogs. After all you do everything he says. Even cover for him while he’s out cheating on me.” Romero didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure why I was lashing out at him.

I walked away.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to undress and shower. If you want to watch, be my guest.” Romero stopped but his eyes followed me up the stairs. I slammed the bedroom door shut after me, then locked it before walking into the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the temperature as high as I could bear but the water couldn’t wash away the images that had taken refuge in my brain. Luca buried in Grace. Her smile. The sound of his hips slamming against her ass. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling. Disappointment. Jealousy? I hadn’t chosen Luca, but he was my husband. I wanted him to be faithful to me. I wanted him to want only me. I wanted to be enough.

There was banging at the bedroom door when I got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and slowly walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom.

“Aria, let me in!” There was anger in his voice. He was angry?

I dropped the towel and slipped a silk nightgown over my body.

“I’m going to kick in the door, if you don’t let me in.”

I’d like to see you do it. Maybe you’ll dislocate a shoulder.

“Aria, open the fucking door!”

I was too tired to keep playing with him. I wanted this day to be over. I wanted sleep to magically take away my memory. I unlocked the door, then turned and walked back to the bed. The door flew open, banging against the wall and Luca stormed in. He grasped my arm and fury burned through me. How dare he lay hands on me after gripping that whore’s ass with them?

“Don’t touch me!” I shrieked, wrenching out of his grip. He was panting, eyes wild with emotion. His hair was a mess and his shirt wasn’t buttoned properly. Matteo stood in the doorway, Romero and Cesare a few steps behind.

“Where have you been?” he said in a low voice, he reached for me again and I stumbled back. “No! Don’t ever touch me again. Not when you use those same hands to touch your whore.”

His face became very still. “Out, everyone. Now.”

Matteo turned and he and the other two men disappeared from view.

“Where have you been?”

“I wasn’t cheating on you if that’s what you’re worried about. I would never do that. I think faithfulness is the most important thing in a marriage. So you can calm yourself now, my body is still only yours.” I practically spat the last few words. “I only walked around the city.”

“You walked around New York at night alone?”

I stared into his eyes, hoping he could see how much I hated him for what I’d seen, how much it hurt to know he respected me so little. “You have no right to be angry with me, Luca. Not after what I saw today. You cheated on me.”

Luca snarled. “How can I be cheating when we don’t even have a real marriage? I can’t even fuck my own wife. Do you think I’ll live like a monk until you decide you can stand my closeness?”

That arrogant pig. He and my father had made sure I didn’t even talk to other men until my wedding to Luca. “God forbid. How dare I expect my husband to be faithful to me? How dare I hope for this small decency in a monster?”

“I’m not a monster. I’ve treated you with respect.”

“Respect?” My voice rose higher. “I caught you with another woman! Maybe I should go out, bring a random guy back with me and let him fuck me in front of your eyes. How would that make you feel?”

Suddenly he flung me on the bed and was on top of me, my arms pinned above my head. Pushing through the choking fear, I said. “Do it. Take me, so I can really hate you.” His eyes were the most terrifying thing I’d ever seen.

His nostrils flared. I turned my face away and closed my eyes. He was breathing harshly, his grip on my wrists too tight. My heart pounded against my ribcage as I lay unmoving beneath him. He shifted and pressed his face into my shoulder, releasing a harsh breath. “God, Aria.”

I opened my eyes. He released my wrists but I kept my arms above my head. Slowly he raised his eyes. The anger was gone from his face. He reached for my cheek but I turned away. “Don’t touch me with her on you.”

He sat up. “I’m going to take a shower now, and we will both calm down and then I want us to talk.”

“What’s there left to talk about?”

“Us. This marriage.”

I lowered my arms. “You fucked a woman in front of my eyes today. Do you think there’s still a chance for this marriage?”

“I didn’t want you to see that.”

“Why? So you could cheat in peace and quiet behind my back?”

He sighed, and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Let me take a shower. You were right. I shouldn’t disrespect you further by touching you like this.”

I shrugged. Right now I didn’t think I’d ever want him to touch me again, no matter how many showers he took. He disappeared in the bathroom. The shower ran for a long time. I sat against the headboard, sheets pulled up to my hip when Luca finally emerged. I averted my eyes when he dropped his towel and put on boxer shorts, then he slipped into bed beside me with his back against the headboard. He didn’t try to touch me. “Did you cry?” he asked in a puzzled voice.

“Did you think I wouldn’t care?”

“Many women in our world are glad when their husbands use whores or take on a mistress. As you said, there are few love marriages. If a woman can’t stand her husband’s touch, she won’t mind him having affairs to satisfy his needs.”

I scoffed. “His needs.”

“I’m not a good man, Aria. I never pretended otherwise. There are no good men in the mafia.”

My eyes rested on the tattoo over his heart. “I know.” I swallowed. “But you made me think that I could trust you and that you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I never hurt you.”

Did he really not get it? “It hurt seeing you with her.”

His expression softened. “Aria, I didn’t get the feeling that you wanted to sleep with me. I thought you’d be glad if I didn’t touch you.”

“When did I say that?”

“When I told you I wanted you, you pulled back. You looked disgusted.”

“We were kissing and you said you wanted to fuck me more than any other women. Of course, I pulled back. I’m not some whore you can use when you feel like it. You are never home. How am I supposed to get to know you?” He looked frustrated. Mafia men seemed even more clueless than normal men. “What did you think? I’ve never done anything. You are the only man I kissed. You knew that when we married. You and my father even made sure it was the case, and despite that you expect me to go from never even having kissed a guy to spreading my legs for you. I wanted to take it slow. I wanted to get to know you so I could relax, I wanted to kiss you and do other things first before we slept together.”