“You didn’t kill him.”

“But you killed him because of me.”

“I’m a killer, Aria. It had nothing to do with you.” It had everything to do with me, but I was too tired to argue.

I listened to his breathing for a few heartbeats. “You know, sometimes I wish I could hate you, but I can’t. I think I love you. I never thought I could. And sometimes I wonder how it would be if you made love to me.”

Luca pressed his lips against my neck. “Sleep.”

“But you don’t love me,” I mumbled. “You don’t want to make love to me. You want to fuck me because you own me.” His arm tightened around me. “Sometimes I wish you had taken me in our wedding night, then at least I wouldn’t still wish for something that will never be. You want to fuck me like you fucked Grace, like an animal. That’s why she told me you would fuck me bloody, right?”

My tongue felt heavy and my eyelids stuck together. I was talking nonsense, a garble of words I shouldn’t say.

“When did she say that? Aria, when?”

Luca’s sharp voice couldn’t rip through the fog blanketing my thoughts and blackness claimed me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A wave of sickness wrenched me from sleep. I stumbled toward the bathroom and threw up again, kneeling on the cold marble floor, too exhausted to get up. I shuddered. Luca reached over me and flushed the toilet before stroking my hair back from my forehead. “Not that hot anymore, am I?” I laughed hoarsely.

“That shouldn’t have happened. I should have kept you safe.”

“You did.” I gripped the toilet seat and staggered to my feet. Luca’s hands grasped my waist.

“Maybe a bath will help.”

“I think I’ll drown if I lie in the bathtub now.”

Luca turned the water on in the tub while still holding me with one hand. The sky was turning gray over New York. “We can take a bath together.”

I tried a teasing smile. “You just want to grab a feel.”

“I won’t touch you while you are on Roofies.”

“A Capo with morals?”

Luca’s face was serious. “I’m not Capo yet. And I have morals. Not many but a couple.”

“I’m only teasing,” I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his naked chest. He rubbed my back and the motion sent a sweet tingling down into my core. I drew back and carefully walked over to the washbasin to brush my teeth and wash my face.

Luca shut the water off when the tub was almost full. Then he helped me out of my panties and got out of his boxer-shorts before he lifted me into the tub. I ducked my face under the water for a moment, hoping it would clear the remaining fog from my head. Luca slid in behind me and pulled me back against his chest. His erection pressed against my thigh. I turned so I was facing Luca and his length slid between my legs and brushed my entrance. I stiffened. Luca would only have to push his hips upward to enter me. He groaned, gritted his teeth, then he reached between us and pushed his erection back so it rested against my thigh again and pulled me flat on his torso.

“Some men would have taken advantage of the situation,” I murmured.

Luca’s jaw clenched. “I’m that kind of man, Aria. Don’t kid yourself into believing I’m a good man. I’m neither noble nor a gentleman. I’m a cruel bastard.”

“Not to me.” I pressed my nose against the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar, musky scent.

Luca kissed the top of my head. “It’s better if you hate me. There’s less chance of you getting hurt that way.”

What had I told him last night when I was out of it? Had I told him I’d fallen in love with him? I couldn’t remember. “But I don’t hate you.”

Luca kissed my head again. I wished he’d say something. I wished he’d say that he…

“You mentioned something Grace said to you.” His voice was casual but tension gripped his body. “Something about fucking you bloody.”

“Oh, yeah. She said you’d hurt me, fuck me like an animal, fuck me bloody when she talked to me during our wedding reception. Scared me out of my mind.” Then I frowned. “I think that guy last night almost said the same thing.”

“Before I killed him he said one of the women who bought dope from him told him you were a skank who needed to be told a lesson. She gave him cash.”

I lifted my head. “Do you think it was Grace?”

Luca’s eyes were like a stormy sky. “I’m sure it was her. The description fits and who else would have an interest in attacking you.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I can’t kill her, even if I want to cut her fucking throat, but that would cause too much trouble with her father and brother. I’ll have to talk to them, though. Tell them they need to put her on a fucking leash or there won’t be any more money from us.”

“What if they refuse?”

“They won’t. Grace has been fucking things up for a long time. They’ll probably ship her off to Europe or Asia for rehab or some shit like that.”

I kissed him but the tension didn’t leave Luca’s body. “I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if Romero and Cesare hadn’t been there, if that fucker had gotten you out of the club. The thought of his dirty hands on you makes me want to kill him again. The thought that he might have…” He shook his head.

I knew it wasn’t because Luca had emotions for me. He was possessive. He couldn’t bear the thought that someone might have gotten his hands on me, that someone might have taken what Luca considered his. Resignation filled me. “When Gianna leaves in a few days, you can have me,” I whispered against his throat. Luca’s hands stilled on my back. He didn’t ask me if I was sure. I hadn’t expected him to. Luca had said it himself; he wasn’t a good man.

***

Gianna and I had spent the last few days trying different cafés and restaurants, talking and laughing and shopping, but today Gianna had to go back to Chicago. My arms around her were tight as we stood in the departure hall of JFK. Gianna needed to go through security soon but I didn’t want to let her go. Not only because I’d miss her terribly but also because I was anxious about my promise to Luca.

I braced myself and took a step back from Gianna. “Visit again soon, okay?”

She nodded, her lips pressed together. “You call me every day, don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” I promised. She backed away slowly, then turned and headed for the line at security. I waited until she walked through and disappeared from view.

Luca stood a few steps behind me. I rushed over to him and pressed my face against him. He stroked my back. “I thought we could grab dinner and then have a relaxing evening.” He sounded hungry and excited, but not for food.

“Sounds good,” I said with a small smile. Something shifted in Luca’s face but then it was gone.

***

I hadn’t eaten much; my stomach was already churning. I didn’t want to take any risks. Luca pretended not to notice. He ate what I didn’t. When we stepped back into our penthouse, I headed for the liquor cabinet, looking for some liquid courage, but Luca gripped my wrist and pulled me against him. “Don’t.”