I shake myself. I need to nip this thing with Nox in the bud. He and I can’t happen. Ever. Even if we kind of already are. Sense seems to disappear any time he’s around and the selfish part of my brain wants what I shouldn’t have. Him. It’s been a long time since I had a man care about me, although that will disappear the moment he finds out the truth of my situation. Nox doesn’t strike me as someone willing to dip his nib in another man’s ink, even if things between me and Isaac are volatile and definitely over—at least they are for me. Isaac is another matter.

“We can go now,” Nox says. “Day and Titch are coming with us, just in case there’s trouble.”

Daimon and Titch I can handle. The big guy who saved Lily-May’s life—Fury—scares the shit out of me. I’m glad he’s not coming. There’s darkness in him that is worse than any darkness I’ve ever seen in Isaac, except when it comes to that little girl. Every time I’ve seen him with Lily-May over the past two months since the transplant, he’s been nothing but sweet.

I push up from the table and he holds his hand out to me. I shouldn’t take it, but I slip my palm into his before I consider the ramifications. He feels warm, safe, and when his fingers squeeze mine, I can’t stop from smiling, even though this is all kinds of wrong. Everything with Nox just feels right.

We walk out of the clubhouse to where the bikes are parked. When he leads me towards his motorcycle, I stop walking, which pulls him up short.

“Lucy?”

My eyes dart at the shiny chrome bikes, my heart starting to pound.

“Are we going on your bike?”

His lips tug into a sexy as fuck grin that makes the butterflies in my belly beat their wings more frantically.

“You want to ride?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never done it before.”

His grin grows bigger. “I’m happy to take your bike virginity.”

Heat rises in my cheeks at the insinuation in his words, which makes him smirk wider.

“Nox, seriously. I’ve never done this before.”

“Relax. It’s easy. All you have to do is move with me and hold on. I’ll do the rest.”

He moves over to his bike, freeing the half-helmet from the lock at the back and he hands it to me.

“Put this on.”

I fumble with the straps and his fingers move to help me, his eyes meeting mine as his touch scrapes over my jaw. I hold my breath, my stomach flip-flopping at the look he’s giving me. Sometimes, I feel like he sees me, the real me. Not Lucy Franklin. Not Natasha Blackwood, but me. Who I would have been if I hadn’t met Isaac. That girl will never exist again, but Nox brings out snippets of her. I like that he does. It makes me feel less broken, more in control.

Natasha would never have got on the back of a motorcycle while she was Isaac’s little captive bird. She was too afraid to be anything but what he demanded. Lucy is more forthcoming, but she’s not the real me either. Before I met Isaac, I was a lot like Sasha. He scraped away every piece of who I was and created this person I am now. A person I don’t recognise or like much. I see Lucy as a weak scared little girl, and that’s not who I am.

The helmet on, I peer up into Nox’s eyes and he dips his head, pressing his mouth to mine. My knees tremble as I grip his biceps. Kissing him isn’t something I should do, but I can’t stop from taking everything he offers me. I want him, I need him. He makes me feel. For the first time in years, he makes me want to be free, to peel away all the hurt I have and live my life for me, not just to survive.

Wanting things is dangerous, though. It leads me down a path I can’t step off of and that scares me. He will be the death of me in a different way than Isaac. Nox will kill me with love, with need, with desire. Isaac killed me with control.

I pull back and when his hand cups the side of my neck, I feel warmth spread from beneath his fingers. This man wants me. He wants me. Lying to him doesn’t feel good. My words are ash and my lies are poison that will eventually destroy us both.

He steps back, still smiling, and hands me the jacket that is draped over the back of the bike.

“You ain’t really dressed for riding, but it’ll have to do.”

“I’m not?”

“I’d rather you were wearing proper gear—riding jeans, long sleeves, boots with better supports. You come off the bike this shit ain’t going to protect you.”

I glance at the jacket before I take it.

“This will at least keep your arms and chest safe, and it’ll keep you warm,” he tells me and I slip into the garment. It’s thick, heavy and it falls off my shoulders. He’s broader than I am. I zip it up and feel the warmth infuse me.

He peers at me, his heated eyes taking me in. “You’ll do.”

Nox cocks his leg over the back of the bike. When he glances over his shoulder at me, I feel wetness between my thighs at the look he gives me. It’s possessive and while Isaac wanted to possess me, he did it to own me. I get the feeling I own Nox in this situation.

“Climb on,” he orders.

I run my tongue over my bottom lip as I stare at the bike like it’s a dangerous weapon. I don’t know much about bikers and their lives, but I feel like this is a crossroads for us, like if I get on the back of his motorcycle something will change between us.

I want it to change. I want to embrace this—whatever this is. Even if it’s short lived. I need to feel something, anything. I need to feel wanted, needed, desired.

I pause for only a second before I move over to the bike.

“Stick your foot on the pillion,” he tells me, pointing to a metal foot rest coming out of the back of the bike, “and—”

Before he finishes, I put my foot on it, and sling my leg over the back of the bike, using his shoulders to keep me steady. I sit down on the back, finding the other pillion on the opposite side and putting my foot on it.

He stares at me over his shoulder.

I grin. “I’m a bad girl at heart, Nox.”

He matches my expression, before he shakes his head and mutters a “Fuck me.”

I like that I can keep him on his toes. I wish I could do it more.

Daimon and Titch step out of the side entrance and give Nox a lift of their chins. I watch as they pull their helmets on and climb onto the back of their bikes. I like both men—what I know of them anyway. They’ve definitely been the friendliest of the brothers.

Grabbing my hands, Nox pulls them around to rest on his stomach and says, “Whatever happens hold on tight.”

“I will,” I promise.

He faces forwards and revs the engine. Then we take off. I resist the urge to shriek as the bike moves and I cling tighter to him, feeling his abdominal muscles bunching under my hands. Behind us, I can hear the rumble of Daimon and Titch’s bikes, but I don’t dare turn to look in case I fall off or unseat Nox somehow. Instead, I cling to him, my face burrowing into his back as the wind attacks. On the back of his bike is the freest I’ve ever felt. I close my eyes and let the sensations overtake me. For too long I was an ornament, only brought out on special occasions. Nox lets me be who I need to be. Free.

I’m falling for him, I realise. I want him, I want us. I want this taste of paradise he’s offering. I want to feel, I want to breathe freely again.