He moves over to the door and shuts it before he comes back.

“Need to shower, baby. We’re both covered in blood.”

He leans into the cubicle and switches the shower on, testing the water with his hand before he starts to strip me.

I lock my eyes onto his as he unclothes me until I’m standing in just my underwear. Then he unhooks my bra and lets my breasts fall free before he slips his fingers in the edge of my knickers and pulls them down my legs. He growls a curse as he takes in my body, and I can see why. My chest has a smattering of new bruises, covering the ones I’d gained crashing my car.

I step out of my knickers and my hands move to push his kutte off his shoulders. I don’t take my eyes off him as I help him out of his tee before I reach for his belt. My heart is pounding the entire time, and I wonder what is going through his head when he steps under the spray. He’s careful to keep his left shoulder out of the water as I follow him into the cubicle.

The hot water hits my body, soothing instantly the hurts to my body. Nox reaches for the soap and lathers up his hands, then he goes to work on washing me. Our eyes find each other’s as he cleans the blood from my face. Once he’s finished, I do the same, cleaning him. I can hardly breathe. He squirts some shampoo into his palm and massages it into my hair. I tip my head back, moaning with pleasure. It feels amazing, so different from the first time he showered me. My pussy is pulsing with anticipation.

He rinses the soap out and I turn back to him. He’s still bloody, so I clean the last of it from his face and chest before I drop my arm holding the cloth to my side. I can’t tear my eyes from his, even though I should. His gaze crawls over my face for a moment, and I see the need, the desire, and it makes butterflies frantically beat in my belly. There’s an undeniable spark between us that I can’t help but be drawn to.

He dips his head and claims my mouth, and I grip his biceps as I open to him. His tongue slides inside, massaging along the length of mine and I moan a desperate, needy sound as he deepens the kiss. I want him. No, I need him. He’s my reason for breathing, for living.

When he finally releases me, he’s panting.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” I tell him, meaning every word of it.

“Nothing in this life scares me, but when Blackwood took you. Fuck, Lucy…” His words fall away, as if he can’t speak them.

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

He brushes his mouth over mine again and I melt against him, needing to feel him, needing to be near him, needing to know this isn’t a dream. I wish we could do more, but I’m already starting to ache again.

We finish washing each other, then step out of the shower. He wraps a towel around me before cinching another one around his hips. We step back into the bedroom to dry, the bathroom too small, too steamed up for us both.

I move to the bed and slowly lower myself onto it, holding my ribs.

Nox turns slowly around to face me.

Neither of us says anything and the tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife. I can’t stand it, so I speak first.

“I’m sorry.”

He holds up a hand and I close my mouth.

“I don’t like lies. Truth and loyalty mean everything in this world. A man is only as good as his word.”

My heart clenches. “I was going to leave the clubhouse. Then you happened.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. There’s a long pause before he says, “Are you still thinking of running?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He nods, but still seems too far away, and I hate that I can see him slipping away a little. We can’t have gone through all this shit, just for this to end. I won’t let it. I’ll fight for him.

“Are we… okay?” I hold my breath, not sure I want to know the answer.

“You mine?”

I nod.

“You need to be in the life a hundred percent. You can’t be half in, half out. You ready for that, baby? Earning back everyone’s trust isn’t going to be easy.”

“I know, but I love you, Nox. I know I let you all down, but I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”

He leans a hand either side of me on the mattress and takes my mouth again. This kiss is soft and warm.

“Do I call you Lucy or Natasha?” he asks.

I flinch at the reminder of my past. “Lucy. Natasha died with Isaac.”

I swallow down bile and peer at my hands.

“Don’t shed a single fucking tear for that fucker,” he tells me. “He got what he deserved. You hadn’t killed him, I sure as fuck would have. I’m sorry I didn’t hit him when I shot at him. Would have saved you all this pain.”

I smile at him and take his hands in mine. “I don’t feel pain. I feel… nothing. Does that make me sick in the head? I killed a man and I don’t even care.”

He kisses my face. “No, baby. It doesn’t.”

He helps me dry myself and then puts me in one of his tees before ordering me into the bed. I climb in and he gets in next to me, pulling me against his chest. I drape my arm around his middle, needing to feel close to him, needing to be in his sphere.

And for the first time in my life, I feel as though I’m exactly where I should be.

Epilogue

Nox

Two weeks later…

I watch Lucy like a hawk from across the common room. She’s sitting at a table with Briella, Levi’s sister, Francesca, Daimon’s cousin, and Sasha, while I hang out at the bar, giving them space to do whatever the fuck girly shit they do. The women have got close since we got Lucy back from Isaac, and I can’t say I don’t like it. Being an old lady means getting on with the brothers, their wives and girlfriends and treating family members like their own.

Sasha came to visit Lucy as soon as the dust had settled from destroying the Blackwood empire.

There were a lot of tears, some strong words exchanged, then everything went back to normal between the two women. Lucy told me Sasha was pissed she lied, but considering she had spent years lying to Rav, to the club, she got it. Of everyone in the club, Sasha is probably the only person who could understand keeping part of your life buried so deeply even you couldn’t dig it back out. She had done it for years with Sin.

I push that fucker out of my head, and glance over my shoulder again as Lucy laughs at something. It’s good to see her content, happy. She’s different. There’s an openness to her I never saw before. She was always so closed off because of the secrets she was keeping, so scared she’d slip from the perfect role she’d been playing, but now I can see the woman Lucy really is, and every day I fall in love with her a little more.

Rav slips onto the stool next to me, drawing my attention. Lily-May is running around with Titch’s two boys. It’s like a fucking crèche in here, but weirdly, I don’t mind it. It feels good to have family around.

I slide my eyes towards Lucy, wondering what she’d look like growing my kid in her, and the thought doesn’t scare me as much as I thought it would. The idea of having kids with her elates me.

As if sensing she’s being watched, Lucy lifts her eyes and meets mine. Heat smoulders behind her gaze as she gives me a lazy smile that makes my cock harden in my jeans. Her face is mostly healed now, there’s a few green-coloured bruises still lingering. She still looks beautiful to me. She got off lightly. Even though that cunt had hurt her, he hadn’t managed to do anything life changing. I’m grateful as fuck for that.