Ravage Page 28
“I’m sure,” I tell her, leaving no room for interpretation.
Her breath seems to catch in her throat and I watch as her eyes dart between me and the Harley.
I’ve upgraded since she was last on the back of my motorcycle. This model is newer, better and I can see the appreciation she has for it as she runs a hand over the fuel tank.
“This is beautiful, Ty.”
“Levi did the body work.”
“He did a great job.”
I unhook my helmet off the lock on the back and hand it to her.
She turns it over in her hands before raising her eyes to meet mine. “What about you?” she asks.
“Don’t give a fuck about protecting my head, but I do care about protecting yours.”
She ducks her chin, a smile playing across her mouth before she pulls the helmet on. It’s a little too big for her and wobbles a little but it’s better than nothing. I’ll get her one that fits right.
I climb on the bike and kick the stand up. Then I glance over my shoulder at her expectantly. Having her on the back of my bike is the right thing to do, but it makes me a little nervous. My dickhead brother is still out there somewhere. We’d be easy targets if he chose to take us out while we’re riding. I don’t think he’d have the balls, but who knows where his head is at.
So far, he’s evaded our every attempt to find him. I have men looking for him from across my business dealings—both legal and illegal. I’ve even put out an alert to the other Sons’ chapters, telling them not to help him in case the crazy fucker shows up at another clubhouse seeking sanctuary. He’ll get no help from my allies, I’ve made sure of that, but my frustration continues to grow as I wait for him to be found. I need him dealt with so I know my woman and child are safe.
Sasha pauses a second before she moves to the pillion on her side and, using my shoulders, settles herself on the back. After three years riding solo it should feel strange to have someone behind me, but it feels normal, like the old days. When her arms slide around my waist, my dick gives a twitch in my jeans. Feeling her press against my back is doing crazy shit to me and images of her beneath me as I pound into her sweet pussy flash through me.
I rev the bike and her arms tighten around my waist. Then, I hit the gas and we take off.
22
Sasha
Riding behind Tyler brings back so many memories of a time before my heart was torn open by Sin’s betrayal. It reminds me that I was once carefree, that I was happy and that I lived in the moment. I miss those days. I miss when I didn’t have to worry about things like bone marrow donors and whether my rapist is out there, looking to harm me and my child.
Even with all that swirling around in my brain, it’s easy to ignore for the one thought that is dominating my mind: we found a match.
My daughter will survive this.
It’s not a guarantee, but it is a chance, and that’s all she needs—a chance. If she takes to the transplant, her survival increases more and more with each day. I just can’t believe Fury matched. Of all the brothers I would not have imagined he would be the most closely aligned with my daughter genetically.
As Ty said, he’s one in a million.
I cling to Tyler as he navigates the bike through traffic, the roar of the Harley pipes loud, the vibrations beneath me strong. This is where I was always happiest, sitting behind him, the open road in front of us. The weight in my chest feels like it’s been dislodged, allowing my lungs to inflate properly for the first time in months. I feel freer than I’ve ever felt as I nuzzle against his back.
Part of me is scared to let him in again. Part of me is terrified of getting hurt, but when it comes to Tyler, I can’t deny how I feel. Every time I’m with him my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest and my stomach performs somersaults. He makes me feel something good, he makes me feel clean. Sin dirtied me in ways that I can never wash away, but Tyler never makes me feel anything but beautiful and whole. When he looks at me, he sees past the broken, damaged woman to the core of who I am. He sees the old me. I may no longer be that Sasha, but part of her still exists in me, buried deep beneath the filth. Every moment I spend with him, I feel my resolve to keep away weakening, and when he kissed me, I knew it was over. I can’t resist this man anymore. I want him. Hell, I need him. So does Lily-May. She needs her father and I know Ty will protect his daughter with his life.
Sitting on the back of his bike confirms the fact he’s claimed us both. He would never have me behind him otherwise. These men are precious about who rides bitch on their bikes, so he’s making a statement. It’s just another way of him proving to me that he’s made me his again and that sends tingles through my belly.
Am I ready to be claimed?
I don’t know, but what I do know is I don’t want him to walk away after this is done. I want him with me and Lil.
I cling tighter to him, as if I can keep him close with my touch and I feel his muscles bunch beneath my hands. He’s not unaffected either by this ride and that has my mouth pulling into a grin.
As we approach the clubhouse, I feel my mood slip. The last time I was here, I wasn’t sure who Lily-May’s father was and I thought no one would believe Sin attacked me. I’m not sure who knows my secret beyond Tyler and Nox, but I don’t want to see pity in the eyes of people who were—who are—my family.
When Zack steps out of the security booth and pulls the gate open, my veins turn to ice. Can I do this? Can I walk back into the clubhouse after all this time?
My emotions are mixed.
I have a lot of good memories of this place, as well as the new nightmares that plague me. Sin might not be here, but his presence is embedded in the bricks and mortar of the building. I try to push that aside and remember at one point this was home. It will be again.
Tyler leads the bike over to a space near the side door and puts his feet on the ground. I climb off, my legs a little shaky. It’s been so long since I last rode, I feel jellied. He kicks the stand down and pulls the bandanna off his face as I tug his helmet off and hand it back to him.
His eyes rove hungrily over my face as he takes it from me without a word. Without warning, he pulls me into his arms and captures my mouth. I can’t stop my body from reacting, from wanting him. Loving Tyler was never an issue. I’ve always loved him, but knowing I can have him again has my stomach flipping like I’m a love-struck teenager.
It doesn’t mean I’m not terrified, because I am. The thought of letting him in again, of getting hurt again scares me to death, but with each passing day, my trust of Tyler is growing more and more.
When he pulls back from my mouth, he’s breathless. So am I. His kisses add to the wobbliness in my legs and I cling to his forearms to keep steady as I peer up into his eyes.
“I’ve missed this,” he says quietly.
I can’t help but smile. “Me too.”
He places the helmet on the back of the bike, then slips his hand into mine, giving me a squeeze before we start walking towards the door. I squint as we move from outside to inside, the change in lighting taking a moment to adjust to.
I steel myself, taking a deep breath as I glance around. I don’t know what I expect, but the common room hasn’t changed in three years. It’s still the same old ratty sofas, the same beat up pool table, the same dirty looking bar and linoleum flooring. The stench of weed is heavy in the air, as is the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. Nostalgia washes through me as I remember all the times I was here as a girl while my father saw to club business, and I feel my spine snapping straight as I step into the shoes of the old Sasha, the woman I was before Sin’s attack—the brave, brazen, sassy, don’t fuck with me bitch who was devoted to her man and the club. It’s hard not to become her again when I’m surrounded by my past. I remember sitting at the table near the door when I got my property patch off Tyler, I remember my first kiss with him in the corner near the pool table, and I remember the first time he told me he loved me by the bar.