My cock is hard as a rock in my jeans and I’m desperate to be inside her, desperate to claim fully what’s mine, but my movements are hesitant.

She pulls back from my mouth and peers into my face. “I won’t break,” she whispers.

I study her face, trying to get a read on her thoughts. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“You want to stop, just say the word.”

Her smile has my dick twitching, and when her mouth crashes back onto mine, I nearly lose my balance.

I move so we’re against the wall, her back to the plaster and she slides down out of my arms. I miss her touch instantly, but she doesn’t stay gone long. Her hands fumble on my belly and my muscles ripple as she tugs the hem of my tee free from my jeans. Then her fingers move under the material, ghosting along the bare flesh.

I don’t waste time either, sliding my hand up her side to her ribs until I’m circling her breast. My hand curls around it, squeezing. It’s not enough, though. I need to feel her skin against mine. I push the material up and her arms follow, so I can pull it over her head. It gets tossed on the floor somewhere behind us. My kutte and shirt follow a second later.

Still kissing her, we move over to the bed and I take her down onto the mattress, climbing on top of her. She feels so good beneath me—soft, warm, willing.

Tugging her bra down to reveal dark nipples, I dip my head and suck one of the little nubs into my mouth, my tongue circling it. Her back arches. My fingers clasp her wrists and I tug them over her head, pinning them against the bed.

Sasha stiffens, her whole body jolting at my touch.

I release my hold instantly and pull back, searching her face. Her eyes are closed and I can see the pain in every line of her face, as if she’s reliving a nightmare. Her chest rises and falls in quick succession, her breath ripping out of her.

I lift off her slightly, my heart pounding.

Shit.

“Sash?”

Sasha doesn’t open her eyes. I’m not sure if touching her is a good idea, but my hands cup her cheeks.

“Sash, look at me.” Her eyes flutter and her glassy gaze focuses on my face. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

She blinks, seeming to come back into awareness.

“I’m sorry.” The rawness of her voice shreds me.

“Don’t fucking apologise.”

I lift off her and sag onto the bed next to her, my heart muscles still having a workout. Then I pull her into my arms, squeezing her to my chest. Her arms wind around my body and I feel her shaking.

“He’s going to pay for every hurt he put on you,” I promise her. “Every tear he’s made you shed, every pain he’s made you feel. I’m going to gut him and make him suffer. I promise you that.”

Sasha snuggles against me, and I feel her tears against my bare chest. It guts me, tears my heart from my chest to know my brother caused this.

“Yeah, you’ll kill him, Tyler, but at what cost?”

“I don’t care about that.” And I don’t. Will it stain my soul? Yes. But it’s a mark I can live with.

“I care about the cost to you.” She stumbles over the words as she blurts out, “I love you.”

I feel her tension as she says those words. Is she wondering how they’ll be taken? I peer down at her, brushing her hair from her face.

“You love me?”

Sasha gives me a half smile. “I never stopped.” She traces circles on my chest. “You don’t have to say it back.”

I take her head in my hands and bring her lips to mine. When I’m done, I rest my forehead against hers and take a deep breath.

Then, I give her the words I’ve needed to say from the moment she walked back into my life. “I never stopped either, baby.”

24

Sasha

Tyler holds me close for so long, just stroking my hair as I lie pressed against his chest. It’s been three years, for fuck’s sake, but the moment he held my wrists down memories invaded me. It was as if I was there again, reliving my nightmare. It was Sin’s hands holding me down as I begged him to stop. It didn’t matter how much I pleaded, how much I fought to get free, how much I screamed at him not to do it, he took what he wanted without remorse. Afterwards, all I can remember feeling was numb as he kissed me, as if he were my lover, rather than my rapist. I spent the past three years avoiding touches, building myself back up, but the darkness is creeping back in now, shredding what’s left of my control.

In Tyler’s arms, I can pretend none of that happened, that my demons are not rising and ready to escape. I can act as if my past is just that—my past—but I can’t stop the tears. I feel as if I’ve got permission to let it all go, to finally break the chains around my soul. They come freely, dripping off the edge of my face onto his bare chest. He doesn’t say a word about them, just keeps stroking me.

It feels good, right, being back in his arms again. This is the place I always fitted. This is the place that always felt like home to me.

God, I missed it all so much.

Sin took my world from me. He took my body, my mind, my family and the love of my life. Functioning without Tyler all this time has not been easy. Every night, I thought of him, about what he was up to with the brothers, if they were all okay. Lily-May filled the gap in my heart, but there was always something else missing—Tyler. I loved him from the moment I was old enough to understand what love was. That never disappeared, even when he was spitting venom at me and calling me a whore. I knew that was the anger speaking. I did what only a few people have ever managed to do—I hurt him. Walking away broke both of us.

I have to accept some of the blame. I should have had more faith in the man, in us. I should have believed that if he knew the truth, he would have protected me, not thrown me away like Sin said he would. Out of everything, that was the worst thing Sin did to me. He made me doubt my reality. He made me lose faith in my family and in the man I loved.

Since he found out my secret, he’s been the old Tyler with me. Each touch, each look reminds me of how it was between us, and it’s making me realise how much I miss what we had.

“You okay?” he asks, pressing his mouth to my hair.

I nod. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Understanding.”

His body tenses a little under me and he huffs out a breath. “Fucking Sin.”

I lift slightly off him, so I can glance up the lines of his chest to his face.

“Forget about him. All I care about is you and Lily.”

“I ain’t forgetting what he did to you. I ain’t ever forgetting that shit.”

His words are like a knife to the belly. I disentangle myself from his hold and push to the edge of the mattress, raking my fingers through my hair.

“What?” he demands, his tone sharp.

“You can’t forget it,” I tell him, my voice filled with sadness. “We can never have a relationship if every time you look at me you see me as a victim. It’ll tear you apart.”

It’ll tear us apart.

I feel the bed dip behind me and then his hands are sweeping my hair back from my neck.

“I don’t look at you and see a victim. I see a strong as fuck woman who survived hell and still managed to bring our beautiful fucking daughter up to be just as strong.”