“Obviously dating my literary agent was not my smartest move.”

“That was the guy you were with before you moved here?”

“Yeah. He dumped me for another one of his clients, an author named Pepper Sinclair.”

“Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately. That’s not even the worst of it, though. By the time he told me, he’d been cheating on me with her for months. And she was married, so she was cheating too.”

I clenched my hands into fists. Now I really wanted to fucking punch that guy. “What the fuck?”

“He said I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. I was totally blindsided.”

“That’s just a shitty way of trying to blame you.”

She took a shaky breath and tears ran down her cheeks. “See, I know that, and it makes sense. But I thought… I thought he was it, and we were fine, and maybe we were going to…”

“You thought you were going to marry him.”

“I feel so stupid.”

“No.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and drew her close. “You’re not stupid. He’s the dumb motherfucker who cheated on you.”

I held her against me for a long moment, wishing I could do something more to make her feel better.

She sat up and swiped beneath her eyes again. “Sorry. I hate crying in front of people.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m just so frustrated. I didn’t think seeing him again would be that bad. And I was counting on the advance from that foreign rights deal. I can’t believe he just blew it off like that.”

“I’d really like to hurt him.”

She laughed a little. “Me too.”

I rubbed her back, not sure what I should do next. It felt like we’d been doused by cold water—and not the jumping in an icy river kind that was actually fun.

“Sorry you had to see all that,” she said.

“It’s okay. Do you want to…” I trailed off. I couldn’t exactly suggest we go upstairs and bang before her parents got home. And the feeling that maybe that interruption had been a good thing kept growing. Not that I wanted her to be upset, but if that shithead hadn’t showed up, we’d have been having sex again.

Which, I wanted.

But shouldn’t.

Fuck, this was a mess.

“Honestly, I think I just need to be alone for a little while,” she said. “I just…”

I knew what she was trying to say. She was thinking the same thing I was. We’d been about to have sex, and if I stayed we probably would. And we probably shouldn’t. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”

“Thanks. It’s not you, Gavin, I—”

“I know.” I leaned close and kissed her temple. “Text me if you need anything.”

“I will. Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

I gathered up my crutches and stood. “Don’t be. I’ll see you later.”

Walking out her door, it felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind. It was the weirdest feeling. I hated leaving her, but at the same time, I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t fix this for her. In fact, if I stuck around, I’d probably just make things worse. More confusing.

Because fuck, I was confused. She sure as hell had to be.

I drove home in a haze, barely aware of where I was going. I kept thinking about Skylar. About what it had felt like to kiss her. Be inside her. How she wasn’t just some girl. I couldn’t chase her and let things play out, for better or worse. Have some fun and not worry about what would happen down the road.

There were consequences down that road. Big ones.

I tried to imagine having that conversation with Chief. That something had gone wrong and whatever had been going on between me and Sky was over. I knew what Chief thought of me. A good firefighter, maybe, but other than that, I was just a crazy kid.

Definitely not good enough for his daughter.

Chief was the closest thing I’d ever had to a father. I didn’t want to make him have to say that to my face.

But maybe it wasn’t too late to rewind things with her. Sure, we’d made out and things had gotten pretty out of control last night. But we’d been friends first. We could go back to that. It’s not like we’d been officially dating or anything. I’d just explain to her that we needed to stay friends. She was just getting out of a relationship anyway.

She’d have to understand.

23

Skylar

Gazing out the window of the Steaming Mug, I wrapped my hands around my coffee cup, enjoying the warmth that seeped into my skin. The sky outside was pale blue, a hue that hinted at the chill in the fall air, and the mountainsides had gone from green to a patchwork of reds, oranges, and golds.

Little pumpkins decorated the tables in the coffee shop. I wondered what Halloween in Tilikum was like. It was my favorite holiday. Something about it being creepy but still safe appealed to me.

Gavin had asked me to meet him here, but I’d come a little early. My head was still a mess after seeing Cullen yesterday. He was such a jerk. How could he have just dropped the ball on that foreign rights contract? The least he could have done was tell me he wasn’t going to see it through. And what was with showing up at my dad’s house like that, just to get a signature? He’d said they had rented a cabin, which of course meant he’d been enjoying a romantic weekend getaway with stupid Pepper Sinclair. Apparently he’d wanted to rub that in my face, the asshole.

I wasn’t just upset because I’d been through a breakup, or because he’d tossed me aside like I’d never meant anything to him, personally or professionally. I was upset at myself for ever thinking he could be the one. How had I not seen who he really was? His behavior since he’d dumped me seemed so shockingly horrible, but then again, was it really so surprising?

Looking back, what I’d taken for seriousness and stoicism were mostly him being a jerk. He’d belittled me for being overly sensitive, dismissing my anxiety as an annoying weakness. Even something I was making up. He’d called me dramatic and unreasonable. Told me to just get over it.

I knew I was an anxious, and often hypersensitive person. I did my best to manage the way my anxiety made me feel so it didn’t hold me back too much. Was it really so bad if background noises sometimes bothered me, or I got nervous around people I didn’t know? Was I really that high maintenance?

Cullen had thought so. He’d thought I was so fragile, he’d cheated on me for months rather than tell me the truth.

I let out a long breath. Like my mom had said, at least I hadn’t married him. That would have been a disaster.

It made me wonder if Mom saw her marriage to Dad as a disaster. It was hard to say. I wasn’t even sure what had actually happened between them all those years ago.

Last night, I’d escaped into the comfort of one of my favorite books. I’d read it several times over the years, and reading it again was like visiting an old friend. Comfortable and relaxing. Because I knew what would happen, I didn’t feel any stress as I read. It had felt good to shut out the world for a little while and live in another one—a world where I knew how the story ended.