And I also realized I loved them right back.

They did still live inside me. Even though I couldn’t remember them, they were right here. And they had been all along.

Nodding slowly, I set the photo down. “Thanks, Gram.”

“Now you need to decide what you’re going to do with your fear.”

I hesitated for a long moment, thinking about that. About what I was really afraid of. I was scared of losing Skylar, and that fear had made me irrational.

Except…

“I really do want to marry her,” I said aloud, without really meaning to.

Gram didn’t reply, just raised her eyebrows with a little smile.

“I don’t want to marry her just because I’m afraid. I want to marry her because I’m in love with her. She’s it for me. I literally can’t imagine my life without her.”

She nodded along as I babbled.

“Help me out here, Gram, what would Dad have done? I know I want to be with her, but she isn’t ready, and that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ll give her as long as she needs. But I screwed this up pretty badly and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Out of the five of you, you’re the most like your father. So I think whatever your instincts tell you to do is probably exactly what he would have done.”

I grinned at her, feeling better than I had in days. “Awesome.”

“Before you go, don’t forget your cookie.”

“I didn’t think you made any.”

She got up and retrieved her cookie jar from the counter, then brought it to the table and opened the lid.

“Sneaky.” I reached in to grab one. “I couldn’t even smell them.”

“I had to make you sweat it a little bit.”

I stood and gave her a gentle hug. “Well played.”

“No more reckless stunts for at least a day or so, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“Good.” She patted my arm. “Then go get your Sparrow.”

“Thanks.” I turned to go but glanced back over my shoulder. “Gram, what was Dad’s spirit animal?”

“You don’t know?” she asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

“No.”

“He was Otter, too. Playful, mischievous, and a bit of a trickster. And he loved water every bit as much as you do.”

I smiled and suddenly, I was glad she’d never listened to me and changed my nickname. Otter was perfect.

“What about Mom?”

“She was Blue Jay—a beautiful songbird known for its high intelligence and tight family bonds.”

“Air and water.”

“A good combination,” she said with a nod.

“How do you always know?”

She smiled and held out the cookie jar. “Why don’t you take another for the road.”

Since she obviously wasn’t going to answer my question, I took another cookie and said my goodbyes.

It was getting late, and I had to go on duty first thing tomorrow morning. For once in my life, I wanted to take my time and think things through. So as much as I wanted to go see Skylar right this second—make sure that I didn’t screw things up with her forever—I decided to wait. Flying by the seat of my pants hadn’t worked very well, and I wasn’t a total dumbass, I could learn from my mistakes. I’d use my shift tomorrow to make a plan. One that was foolproof.

40

Skylar

I stared at my laptop screen with a mix of disbelief and satisfaction. I’d actually done it. I’d finished the book.

It still needed revisions, and an editor would help me polish it. But it was all there, beginning, middle, and end. An entire story from start to finish.

I let out a long, relieved breath. A part of me had been afraid I’d lost it. That I’d never finish a book again.

But here it was, in all its messy, unedited glory.

I’d thought a lot about why I’d gotten blocked in the first place. What had happened to me all those months ago? I’d written twelve novels and then suddenly I could hardly write a word.

Looking back, I didn’t think it was one single incident. It was a hundred little fears always swirling beneath the surface that had finally broken through. The fear of failure after success. The fear that it had been a fluke and my career would be over. That this would be the book that exposed all my weaknesses. That I wasn’t really a good writer, I’d just somehow gotten lucky. The fear that I’d already used up every good idea I’d ever have. That I’d be exposed and everyone would learn the truth. That I had no idea what I was doing.

Somehow, Gavin had soothed those fears. He calmed my mind. Made all those worries disappear. When I was with him, I felt my focus and confidence return.

I hadn’t written the entire book with him sitting on my bed behind me. But those writing sessions had gotten me started. They’d allowed me to break through my block.

There was something ironic about Gavin Bailey calming my fears. Because he scared me. Or at least, he had at first.

Now? I wasn’t afraid. He’d pushed me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. He hadn’t set out to show me I was brave, but he had. Because that was the thing, when I was with him, I did feel brave. It was like he sucked all the fear out of the room and made it disappear.

I missed him so much.

For the millionth time, I thought about texting him. Or even calling. Why was I hesitating? Because I didn’t know what I wanted to say?

Or was it because I did know what I wanted to say?

I was so confused.

Confused or not, I decided to celebrate my little victory with some coffee at the Steaming Mug, so I saved and backed up my manuscript—again, just to be safe. I brushed out my hair, dabbed on a little makeup, and changed into a burgundy sweater and jeans. I slipped my feet into a cute pair of leopard print flats—because why not—and went downstairs.

Dad was on duty today, and Mom was out. A sense of peace had settled over the house since Dad had asked her to stay. I glanced around at the furniture—at Mom’s things from her old house that had somehow fit perfectly in the empty spaces here.

It was very poetic. They filled the empty places in each other’s lives.

They’d decided to see a couple’s therapist to help them navigate this new phase in their relationship. There were still old wounds from the past that needed healing. And for two people who’d been single for twenty years, learning to share their lives again was going to take some work. But I’d never seen either of them as happy as they were now.

I slipped on my coat, grabbed my purse, and opened the front door. I jumped backward with a shriek, startling at the sight of the man on the step.

Cullen’s hand slowly lowered—it looked like he’d been about to knock. “Sorry, Skylar. It’s just me.”

I gaped at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Why? Because your life imploded on national television?”

He blinked in surprise. “You saw that?”

“Yeah, I saw it.” I decided not to mention that my friend Cara had somehow tipped off the interviewer about his affair with Pepper.

“Okay, well, can I come in?”