“A handful,” I said with a laugh.

“A big one.”

“You know Gram can handle it. And like you said, you’ll only be a few minutes away.”

He brushed my hair off my shoulder. “I know. I’m probably worrying over nothing. I just didn’t set the best example for my brothers when I was younger. I guess I feel responsible for them now.”

“You weren’t that bad.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Grace, I probably spent more time in detention than in class.”

“That’s because you stopped hanging out with me.” I poked him.

“You’re not wrong. You would have kept me out of trouble. Or I would have gotten you into it.”

I laughed. “Maybe.”

He took a deep breath and glanced at the table, like he was thinking. “Evan will be all right, as long as the girl he’s dating is good for him.”

“Evan has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. He seems pretty into her.”

“That’s great.”

“But then I look at Logan and the way he is with girls. And Gavin’s complete disregard for his own mortality. And Levi still seems so angry.”

I put my hand on his thigh. “You were pretty angry when you were eighteen.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I was.”

I remembered that younger, angrier Asher, although he’d never taken it out on me. In fact, when we’d been alone, I’d seen a side of him not many people got to see.

“Well, maybe whatever helped you will help Levi, too.”

“I hope something does. Maybe he just needs time to grow out of it.”

“Is that what happened to you? You grew up?”

His fingers traced slow circles on my shoulder while he considered my question. “I think that’s part of it. I also realized I had to step up and be a man, for Gram and my brothers.”

“Why are you so amazing?”

He leaned closer and brushed his nose against my temple. “I’m not. I’m just doing my best.” He paused again, taking a deep breath, like he was inhaling me. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. “And I’m still angry sometimes.”

I caressed his thigh. “About what?”

“That they’re gone.”

The sting of tears suddenly hit my eyes and I swallowed them back before they could fall. His parents. He almost never talked about them. The few times he’d tried when we were younger, he’d clammed up and either left or changed the subject.

“You miss them.”

He rested his cheek against my temple and tightened his arm around me. “So much. It’s been a long time, but sometimes it still really fucking hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

I shifted closer, wishing I could crawl into his lap. I wanted to wrap myself around him and hold him tight. It wasn’t just that I wanted to make him feel better, although I did. I’d have done just about anything to soothe the pain he carried. But he was opening up to me. As close as we’d been as kids, I’d never felt as connected to him as I did right now.

He pressed his lips to the side of my forehead and trailed his fingers through my hair.

“I know it’s not the same because my parents are alive, but I’m angry sometimes, too. At my dad.”

“No shit. I’m angry at your dad, too.”

I laughed softly, but there was a hint of a menacing growl in his voice that was a little bit scary. Not that I could ever be afraid of him, but I wondered what would happen if he ever got his hands on my dad. As much as I hated my father, I decided I didn’t want to know.

“I’m more concerned for Elijah than myself. I know what my dad’s like, and I don’t expect anything from him. But it won’t be long and Eli’s going to start wondering why he doesn’t have a dad at home. Or at least one who visits him.”

“It won’t be easy. But he’s going to turn out okay.”

“Yeah, he’s a good kid. My mom does her best, and he has Gram, and all of you.”

“Hopefully our influence on him is more good than bad, although I can’t promise anything.”

I laughed again.

He brushed his fingers down my neck and across my shoulder. “I’m not overwhelming you, am I?”

“No, not at all.”

“Are you sure? I can’t stop touching you. I’m trying not to be inappropriate, but I have to be honest, it isn’t easy. You look incredible. And don’t even get me started on how good you smell.” He put his face in my hair and inhaled.

I turned, lifting my chin so my face was in his neck, and breathed him in. His warm, woodsy scent sent a cascade of sensations through my entire body. “You smell good, too.”

A low groan rumbled in his throat. “We should probably go. I need to kiss you like I need to breathe, but I don’t want to get us kicked out.”

We stood and he took my hand in his, then led me out to his car. But instead of opening the door for me, he pushed me up against it and captured my lips with his. My hands slid up his broad chest and I draped my arms around his shoulders, melting into his kiss.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there. Probably only a few minutes, but time ceased to have meaning when Asher was kissing me. Eventually, we got in his car and drove home.

He parked outside my mom’s house and turned off the engine. Leaning over, he kissed me again.

“Thank you,” I said. “Tonight was perfect.”

His mouth hooked in a grin. “Really?”

“It was the best date I’ve ever had.”

“Does that mean I get another one?”

Another one… a lifetime of them. “Definitely. And Asher?”

“Yeah?”

I reached over to clasp his hand. “Remember what you said last night?”

“I said a lot of things.”

“I know. But one of them stands out. You said you were in love with me.”

His voice was quiet. “Yeah. I did.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

He let out a breath and there was both relief and happiness in his smile. “Oh my god, I can’t even tell you how good it feels to hear you say that.”

“I’ve always been in love with you. I just didn’t think you could love me back, so I—”

He cut me off with a kiss.

We probably had an audience, but I didn’t care. I kissed him in the moonlight, lost in the feel of his mouth tangled with mine.

Amazed that this was really happening.

10

Grace

The huge gym buzzed with energy, and the scent of buttery popcorn drifted in from the hallway. Sets of tall bleachers surrounded the mats, and teams of jiujitsu competitors in matching gis clustered in groups along the sidelines.

Asher had told me what to expect. Eight mats in two rows of four. There would be matches held on each, simultaneously. The far left were for the female divisions. His matches would probably be on the right, so I picked my way through the crowd and found a seat.

I’d seen Asher compete in sports in high school—been to football games and wrestling matches. But I’d never been to one of his jiujitsu tournaments. I was surprisingly nervous.