Make Me Yours Page 61
I opened the front door for her.
“Don’t you want a coat?” she asked.
“Nah. I’m coming right back.” But fuck, it was freezing outside. I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets as we walked.
Cheyenne said nothing until we were on her doorstep. “Well, thanks for everything today. I had a great time.”
“Me too.” I faced her. “And I’m sorry I lost my temper with Mariah back there. I’m just in a weird mood.”
“I can tell. It sort of came out of nowhere.”
“Sorry,” I said again, frustrated and angry with myself. Why should I panic about wanting to be with the woman I loved?
She bit her lip. “I don’t want to keep asking if you’re okay, so I won’t. I’ll just . . .” Looping her arms around my neck, she hugged me tight, pressing her body to mine.
I wrapped my arms around her, inhaling her scent, and felt the tension in me ease up. “You always know what I need.”
“I love you,” she told me.
“I love you too,” I said, squeezing her tight. “So much. And I’m tired of walking you home at night.”
“Cole, you never have to—”
“I want you to spend nights with me.”
A pause. “What?”
“You heard me. I want you to spend nights with me. I want to say goodnight to you in a warm bed, not freezing my ass off on this porch. I want to wake up next to you. I want to make you coffee in the morning and scrape the ice off your car windows and let you pick out all my party outfits.”
She laughed. “Cole, I would love that. But I don’t think it’s possible.”
“It is if you move in with me.”
She pulled back and looked up at me with wide, shocked eyes. “What?”
“Move in with me. With us. To the new house.” I grinned. “You can try to have your own room, but I won’t let you.”
She laughed nervously. “You heard that conversation, huh?”
“Yes. And it made me laugh too, especially when she said you could buy the house next door.” I kissed her lips. “I don’t want you next door anymore, Cheyenne. You belong with me. You belong with us.”
Her eyes teared up. “But Cole, I’m not quite out of debt yet. And I can’t afford to pay you—”
“Jesus Christ, Chey.” I shook her gently. “I’m not asking you to be my roommate. I don’t want your money. I just want to be with you as much as possible.”
“I want that too, but . . . it’s only been a month, Cole. Aren’t you worried we’re moving too fast?”
“No. I’m thirty-three years old, and I know what I feel. I don’t want to play games or put things off. Life is short. Don’t you agree?”
“Yes,” she said quickly, laughing again. “I know how I feel too. I just want you to be sure.”
“I’m sure.” I kissed her again. “And we know how Mariah feels about this, so there’s nothing to hold us back. You’re already family to me, Cheyenne. Let me take care of you. It will make me happy.”
The smile blossomed on her lips and took over her whole face, making it glow. “Okay.”
After she went into the house, I stood there for a second on the porch, scratching my head.
Holy shit—I’d asked Cheyenne to move in with me.
And it had felt good. Fucking great.
Take that, Jessalyn, I thought as I strutted back home. Fuck you, panic attacks. Sayonara, dragon.
I’d done it—I’d looked over the edge of the cliff and taken the leap. I was safely on the other side, and I was fucking fine.
As soon as I got home, I went up to Mariah’s room.
“Hey,” I said, sitting on the edge of her bed.
She was facing the other way. Giving me the silent treatment.
“You mad at me?”
“I don’t know.”
I put a hand on her back. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t answer.
“I try my hardest to do things right, but I mess up sometimes.”
Still nothing.
“I was angry at myself and I yelled at you instead. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Mariah rolled over and looked at me. “I just like it when she tucks me in. We talk.”
“Yeah? About what?”
“Girl stuff.”
That made me smile. “You can’t talk to me about girl stuff?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, Daddy.”
I sighed heavily. “I guess I can understand that.”
“I invited her to live with us.”
“I heard.”
“But she said no.”
“I think she was thinking about getting her own place.”
“But don’t you think it would be fun if our place was also her place?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. That’s why I asked her if she’d like to live with us.”
Mariah’s eyes went wide. “What did she say?”
“She said yes.”
A gasp. “She did?”
“Yep.”
Then a pout. “How come she said no to me but yes to you?”
I chuckled, tapping her nose. “I think she needed both of us to ask her. If I’d asked her first, she probably would have said no too.”
She squeezed the stuffed dog in her arms. “I’m so glad she said yes!”
“Me too, peanut.”
“Are you guys going to get married?”
“One thing at a time, okay?”
“Okay, but do you really love her?”
“Yes. I do.”
Mariah smiled. “I love her too. I know she isn’t my real mom, but this will be like having a bonus mom.”
My throat grew tight. “I think that’s a great way to look at it.”
Mariah glanced at the photo of Trisha on her dresser. “Cheyenne says that Mommy was nice to everyone.”
“She was.”
“I try to be nice to everyone too. I want to be like her.”
Leaning over, I kissed her forehead. “I’m the luckiest dad in the whole world. I love you, peanut.”
She looped her arms around my neck and hugged me. “I love you too.”
I went to bed feeling pretty damn pleased with myself.
That night, I had horrible nightmares.
I was trapped in the dark with an evil thing I couldn’t see except for two toxic green eyes.
I could hear it breathing. I could feel its heat. I could smell its rot. It watched me, moving closer, then retreating, but always ready to dig in its claws and tear me to shreds.
I heard Mariah’s voice. “Daddy?”
I fucking panicked—she was there somewhere in that stinking dark, and I had to protect her. But where was she? Where was she? I started to scream for her.
“Daddy!”
I woke up in a pool of sweat, my heart pounding, adrenaline pumping.
Mariah was standing at the foot of my bed. “Daddy, you’re scaring me.”
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry.” I rubbed my face. “I had a bad dream. I’m okay.”
“I heard you yelling. It woke me up.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” I checked the clock—not even two. “I’ll take you back to bed,” I said, swinging my legs over the side of the mattress.