The kid’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

“Oh, man.” He adjusted his cap, his expression anxious.

David clapped him on the back. “Don’t be nervous, son. Just listen and try to do what he says.”

“Okay.” Chip’s voice cracked.

“I hear you’ve got great power and speed,” I told him. “But you’re struggling a little with command?”

“Yeah.”

“I had the same issue, and my coach was able to help me by breaking down the mechanics and making sure I understood every step. You have to focus on the process, not the result. Because if you can’t control your body, you can’t control the ball, right?”

He considered that. “Right.”

I nodded, getting kind of excited to watch this kid pitch and help him out. Maybe I couldn’t fix myself, but I knew this game—especially from the pitcher’s mound. “Let’s do it.”

Twelve

April

After Tyler dropped me off at Cloverleigh, I drove home to shower and change for work. The previous night replayed in my head like a dream, and I must have stood in the shower for an extra fifteen minutes just recalling the way he’d used his mouth on me. And his big, strong hands. And his massive, therapeutic erection.

Giggling, I rinsed my conditioner out and realized how much we’d laughed all night long. I’d never had a sexual experience that was both really intense and really fun at the same time. Was it because we knew each other so well? And how was that even possible? We hadn’t seen each other for years and had only reunited three days ago. It was incredible how you just felt a connection to some people—and it never went away, no matter how much time or distance came between you.

I dressed in jeans, a comfortable top, and sneakers, but I packed a garment bag with a little black dress and heels for Sadie’s wedding later on so I wouldn’t have to come home.

I did my hair and makeup, tossed my cosmetics case in my shoulder bag, and headed back to Cloverleigh. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and the sunshine made my smile even bigger.

Once I was in my office, I checked in with Sadie, who was already at the salon, and confirmed delivery times with the florist and the bakery. Then I texted Frannie to ask what time she wanted to bring over the favors—Sadie had flipped for the tiny boxes of pastel macarons we’d shown her as an option, and Frannie had offered them as a wedding gift. She texted back that they were all ready to go, and said she’d bring them over after the morning rush at the shop was over, in about an hour.

When she arrived, I was setting up a guest book on the table in the entry hall. I saw her approaching the glass door and opened it for her, since she was pulling a wagon carrying two crates full of little white boxes.

“Morning,” I said.

“You never called me back yesterday!” Frannie admonished, dragging the wagon inside.

“Sorry.” I laughed and gestured into the reception room. “I had the rehearsal and things got busy. Let’s set those up and I’ll tell you all the things.”

“You better. Chloe says you saw him again last night.”

“When did you talk to Chloe?”

“We had dinner with them.”

“Oh, right. She mentioned that.” Together we started stacking the favor boxes into a pyramid on the table. “Yes, I saw him.”

“And?”

“And I saw him naked.”

“Oh my God!” she squealed. “So how was it?”

“Amazing.”

“Better than the time in the truck?”

I added another box to the table. “Um, yeah. Less frantic and clumsy. Plus, we took our pants all the way off.”

She laughed. “He probably has a really good body.”

“He does. But he’s also really patient and funny and generous.”

“Were you at your place?”

I shook my head. “His hotel room.”

“So what now?” she asked, turning around to perch on the edge of the table. “He has to go back to California, right? Will you see him again?”

“We haven’t really talked about it.” I looked in the wagon, where there were at least fifty boxes left. “Don’t stop working. We have to get this done.”

“Sorry.” She reached into the crate for another box. “I’m just flustered. And happy for you. But also worried that he’s going to leave and take your glow with him.”

I laughed. “My glow?”

“Yes! You’re positively radiant right now!”

“It was a fun night. And I think it was good for both of us. In more ways than the obvious.”

“What do you mean?”

I placed another box on top of the pyramid. “Just that I think we’ve both been struggling with something. He needed to feel like his old self again. And I needed closure on a chapter of my life. I feel like we both got something we needed, not just something we wanted.”

Frannie was silent as we finished arranging the favors. When the crates were empty, she turned to me. “Are you seeing him naked again tonight?”

“Probably.”

“Okay, don’t be mad at me for asking this, but are you sure sleeping with Tyler is going to give you closure?”

I sighed. “I’m not sure of anything, Frannie. I just know that it feels really good to be with him. I’m trying not to read into it too hard.”

“Okay, okay.” She held up both hands. “I don’t want to rain on your parade, I just want you to move forward, not backward. Fun and games is one thing, but feelings are another.”

“I know. But this honestly doesn’t feel like a backward move.” I stuck my hands on my hips, shaking my head. “I can’t explain it, but it really does feel like I’m getting myself unstuck.”

She smiled. “I’m happy for you. I’ll see you tonight.”

Frannie’s question lingered in my head the rest of the day. My answer had been the truth—I wasn’t at all sure that sleeping with Tyler was going to give me closure, since my issues really weren’t with him, they were with my feelings surrounding the adoption. In order to really have closure, I needed an answer to my letter.

But I had no control over that, and the reality of it was, I never would. If the family chose to ignore my letter, I’d have to move on without ever knowing the boy I’d given birth to and be okay with it.

In the meantime, I didn’t see the harm in flexing my sexual muscles a little bit with a guy who made me feel like a million bucks, whether he was a piece of my past or not. It wasn’t like we were hurting anyone.

I was in my office changing into my dress when Tyler called me.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you. Whatcha up to?”

“I’m taking my clothes off. Wish you were here.”

He groaned. “Will you take them off again for me later?”

I laughed. “Not unless you buy more condoms.”

“Already done. I went to the drugstore and got an entire box. We can have very, very safe sex many, many times.”