“Nope.”

She glanced at her phone. “It’s not even ten yet. Want to watch TV or something? You know you’ve missed watching Law & Order with me.” She poked me in the stomach, and I took a step back.

I smiled, barely trusting my tongue to say the right thing. “Sounds like fun, but I’m kind of tired. I’m used to going to bed early and getting up before sex.”

“Before what?” She looked confused.

Fuck you, brain. “Before six.”

“Oh. Okay, no problem. Are we still on for a run?”

“Sure.” Running was fine. Running would be in public. In the sunlight. With clothes on. And it did not involve sitting close to her on the couch. “Do you want me to pick you up or should we meet at the park?”

“I should be able to get a car. If I can’t, I’ll text you. What time?”

“Is seven too early?”

“Seven’s good. See you then.”

“See you then.”

For a second, she just stood there, and my heart hammered with fear. My entire body was tense. Was she ever going to leave?

“I’ll walk you to your car,” I said, trying to move her along.

“Okay. Thanks.”

Renzo followed us down the driveway to the street, where a dark Cadillac was parked along the curb. She unlocked the door and gave me a sheepish grin. “Got my dad’s Caddy.”

“Nice.”

“Well, goodnight.” She came toward me and raised her arms for a hug.

Suppressing a groan at the feel of her body pressed close to mine, I took one hand from my pocket and returned the hug very loosely, leaning forward so our hips didn’t touch. “Night.”

Before she let me go, she pressed her lips to my cheek. “This feels really good,” she whispered close to my ear.

Fuck yes, it did. Too good. And if she didn’t let go of me, I was going to do something we would both regret.

It actually reminded me of that day we’d spent together, the one she’d brought up earlier when I’d gone to DC on leave. She hadn’t been dating anyone at the time, and we’d spent the entire day walking around the city. One of the places she’d taken me was the World War II Memorial. Both of us had grandfathers that had fought in that war, and even though both of them had returned, the memorial was a reminder of heroes and sacrifice. Since I was still in the military at the time, back from one combat tour and due to deploy again soon, I was conscious of it all in a way I never had been before. And so was she.

For the first time, she’d taken my hand as we walked near the fountain. “I don’t want you to go,” she said.

I liked the feel of her fingers interlocked with mine. “I’ll be back.”

“You don’t know for sure.”

“That’s true.”

“Noah!” She stopped walking and turned to face me. “You’re supposed to say something more reassuring than that.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know there was a script. I was just agreeing with you that I don’t know anything for sure.” But as I looked into her eyes just then, I did know something for sure—that I wanted to kiss her. That I’d miss her. That I cared for her more deeply than I’d ever admitted. That if she’d wait for me, I’d always come back for her.

She grinned. “I guess I wanted you to argue with me.”

“I don’t want to argue with you right now,” I said quietly.

Her smile faded. “What—what do you want?”

I looked at her lips, and my heart skipped like a stone on the water.

But I didn’t kiss her, and the moment passed us by.

A moment later we were walking again, and she’d let go of my hand.

Now, here in the street, I stood as still as if I were frozen, praying she couldn’t feel my dick starting to get hard, and eventually, she backed away. I thought her face looked a little disappointed, but I couldn’t be sure—might have been wishful thinking on my part.

She got in the car, and I shut the door after her. Two minutes later, I watched her tail lights disappear into the dark and breathed a sigh of relief. “Come on, boy. Let’s go in.”

Upstairs in my room, I stripped off my clothes, brushed my teeth, and got in bed, promising myself I’d ignore my hard-on and go straight to sleep.

But my erection refused to cooperate. Hating myself, I reached into my boxer briefs and starting giving myself a very angry hand job.

Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her.

But she was like gravity—no matter what I did, I couldn’t fight the physical pull of her. I was never going to win.

Thoughts of her dragged me down deep and wouldn’t let go. Her mouth, her eyes, her hair, her legs, her scent, her laugh, her tears, her touch.

One night, my traitorous mind thought as I yanked furiously on my aching cock. That’s all I need. One night, and I’ll give her everything she ever wanted.

All my desire for her converged inside me demanding release, and as I reached the breaking point, my eyes shut tight, my breath ragged and rasping, my jaw clenched, I imagined her body arched above me. I came hard and fast onto my own stomach, groaning as I thought about how good it would feel to come inside her, to make her come with me, to feel her body ripple and pulse, hear her softly sighing my name.

God, I wanted her. I fucking wanted her. I’d never wanted anyone so badly in my entire life.

But did I want her badly enough to risk losing her?

Eight

Meg

I drove home feeling exhilarated, happy, and . . . confused.

The entire night had been so much fun, but something had felt off at the end. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was or when it had happened, but Noah was definitely different when we said goodnight. Tense. Quiet. Almost like he was nervous.

But why? What had changed?

I racked my brain the whole way home. Was it something I’d said? Had I asked too many personal questions? Had I poked too deeply into his breakup with Holly? I knew guys didn’t enjoy talking about their feelings like some women did, but Noah and I had always been able to talk openly about things.

And I still couldn’t believe the selfish way his ex had behaved. Generally I didn’t like to judge people I didn’t know, but honestly, I didn’t feel that guilty for judging Holly. Noah had always been protective of his brother—protective of everyone. From the day they met, I was certain she would have known that. It was one of the sexiest things about him.

He was definitely better off without her.

After parking my dad’s car in the garage, I let myself into the house, locked the door behind me, and trudged up the stairs to my room. That’s when I realized that I’d forgotten to give Noah his hoodie back. Sighing, I took it off and tossed it onto the back of a chair. I’d return it tomorrow morning.

After plugging in my phone and setting the alarm, I laid out my running clothes for the morning and got ready for bed. But when I slipped between the sheets, I was too restless and uneasy for sleep.

I wished Noah had invited me in. Maybe he’d have admitted what was bothering him at the end of the night. Maybe we could have talked more about it. Maybe we’d have sat close together on his couch and laughed some more about first kisses. First times. Fantasies.