Frannie breathed in and exhaled, creating a little white cloud in the icy dark. “Whew, it was warm in there.”

“Yeah.” Sticking my hands in my pockets, I took a few deep breaths too, hoping they’d calm my fraying nerves.

“You’re not off the hook, though. I still want to dance with you.” She elbowed me gently.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

She turned to face me. “Why not?”

“Because …” I forced myself to say words I didn’t feel in my heart. “I think we should slow down. Cool off.”

She shook her head slightly. “What? Where is this coming from?”

“I’ve just been thinking we’re moving a little too fast.”

“Since when?”

I shrugged. “Last week.”

“I don’t understand. On Wednesday in your office, things were fine. I’ve hardly seen you since.”

“That’s part of the problem, Frannie. We can’t even see each other. It’s too hard with all the sneaking around. And it’s not fair to you.”

Again, she shook her head, and tears glistened in her eyes. “I’ve told you a hundred times, I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do. I can’t keep doing it. It’s making me feel like shit. I can’t be what you deserve and what my kids need. I just can’t. I feel like I’m being torn in two.”

“But Mack,” she said, a tear dripping down her cheek. “I’m in love with you. I can’t just walk away.”

I felt it like a sledgehammer to the chest. “Don’t say that. It’ll only make things worse.”

“But it’s true,” she wept. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my entire life.”

“You’re so young, Frannie. You’ll meet someone else who can be what you want.”

“I want you, you big jerk,” she said, going to wipe her eyes but struggling to get her hand free from the long arms of my coat. Finally she gave up and the tears fell freely while I stood there helpless and angry. The thought of her with someone else made me want to put my fist through the barn’s glass door.

“You think you want me, but you don’t,” I told her. “Where do you see this going, Frannie? Where does it end? Because it has to end somewhere.”

“Why?” she sobbed.

“Because you want things I can’t give you.”

“Like what?”

“You want a husband. You want children.” I shook my head. “I’m never getting married again, and I’ve already had my children.”

“I’ve never even brought that up,” she said, finally fishing a hand from my sleeve and dragging her wrist below her nose.

“But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re envious of Ryan and Stella. You see how easy it could be. You want that promise of a future together, and you should have everything you want. I just can’t be part of it, and when you realize that down the road, you’ll leave.”

“You mean you won’t.”

“What?”

“You won’t be part of it.” She took a step closer to me and looked me right in the eye. “You’re choosing to end this now because you’d rather be alone than take a chance on a future with me. You’re afraid.”

I bristled. “I’m realistic. I know what I am and what I’m not capable of. And the girls are already too attached to you. What happens to them when this falls apart? They’ll be devastated. They’ll hate me.”

“Don’t blame this on the girls,” she said, sliding my coat from her arms and shoving it at me. “This is all you.”

“Frannie, come on. I didn’t want it to be like this.”

But she spun on her heel, yanked open the door, and disappeared inside the barn.

Hanging my head, I stood there for a moment with my coat in my hands and told myself I’d done the right thing—for my kids, for Frannie, for myself.

But I’d never felt worse.

Somehow I made it through most of the reception, but just after nine I told Woods that I had to get going. I made up a story about one of the kids not feeling well, but I think he knew it was bullshit. He didn’t say anything, though, just gave me a hug and said he’d give me a call once he and Stella were back from their honeymoon. I congratulated them both, kissed Stella on the cheek, and left.

I knew what Frannie meant when she’d said she envied them. I did too.

My coat was in my office back at the inn, so I walked across the path and went to retrieve it. While I was there, I dropped into my chair and sat there for a moment, feeling dejected and empty. It didn’t seem possible that just a few days before, I’d had Frannie right here on this desk, not a care in the world beyond making her feel amazing. And now look what I’d done.

I should have known better.

Squeezing my eyes shut against the image of her and everything good she brought to my life, I jumped up from my chair, threw my coat over my arm, and took off.

At home, I undressed in the bathroom and crawled into Millie’s bottom bunk, where I’d been sleeping since my parents arrived. But there was no way I could sleep tonight. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw those tears running down her cheeks in the dark. I heard her voice telling me she loved me. I felt the unbearable burden of knowing that I’d broken her heart.

I hoped she’d forgive me someday.

Frannie

I kept my head down as I hurried through the barn, which hummed with the happy noise of a wedding reception—the band playing up front, the clink of silverware on glasses, the laughter and chatter of the guests. With tears continuing to fall, I blindly made my way to the back of the room and hunted for April. Spotting her over by the cake table, I headed in that direction.

“Hey,” I said, tapping her shoulder.

“Hey.” She turned and gasped. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to leave. Do you have enough help the rest of the night?”

“Of course. Are you okay?”

I shook my head and tried to choke back the sobs that threatened to erupt. “Mack broke it off.”

Another gasp. “Why?”

“He had a lot of reasons, but I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“Okay. I understand.” She gave me a hug. “Go cry it out. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Make an excuse to Mom and Dad for me, okay?”

“Sure. I’m really sorry, Frannie. I know how you feel about him.”

I couldn’t even talk anymore, so I just nodded and walked away, my chest aching and my throat tight. After grabbing my coat from the back office, I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked along the pathway from the barn to the inn, crying openly.

When I’d gotten dressed tonight, I’d been so excited. So hopeful. So happy.

How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of knocking on my apartment door. I reached for my phone to check the time. To my surprise, it was after ten already. I never slept this late, but then again, I’d barely slept at all.