“I’ll be back,” I said, standing.

“I wouldn’t count on it, actually,” said Kaidan, coming forward to take my hand and pull me from the room. I was pondering how many people had tugged me by the arm tonight just as Scott yelled, “Dude!” and Kaidan slammed the door shut behind us.

CHAPTER FIVE

LIKEWISE

Kaidan kept a firm grip on my hand. I concentrated on where our bodies connected, marveling at my hand inside of his. I didn’t recall leaving the house or walking down the dock, but when we stopped I processed the fact that we were outside the boathouse. Kaidan banged the doorway with the side of his fist.

“Everyone out,” he told them with authority.

“We were here first,” one of the boys inside said.

“Sod off.” Kaidan’s tone was scary calm.

The six figures brushed past us with weak protests and headed back to the party. When they were gone, I expected Kaidan to go into the boathouse, but instead he walked out to the end of the dock and sat. I followed, sitting on the edge with my feet hanging over, not quite reaching the water. I took in his brown T-shirt with a golden dragon stenciled down one shoulder and across the chest. It was just snug enough to accentuate his toned body underneath. When I looked at his face I was shaken to see how intensely he was looking back at me. A breeze brushed my skin like a feather.

My teeth chattered, but I didn’t know if it was from the X or the cool air.

“Who are you?” he asked me yet again.

“I don’t know how you want me to answer that.”

A sudden flash throughout my body cracked my fuzzy dream state. I gasped.

“What is it?” he asked. There it was again, but longer this time. Reality was seeping back in. I was beginning to feel insecure and anxious.

“I think... It feels like it’s starting to wear off. But he said four hours!” I couldn’t sit there. I stood up, feeling panicked. I was shaking inside. Kaidan stood, too, pulling my chin up to make me look at him.

“Have you ever been sick?” he asked, holding my eyes with his.

“Sick... ?” I couldn’t think.

“The flu. Tonsilitis. Anything?” Now he had my attention.

Another spasm pushed me further out of my dream state as I bent over with my hands on my knees.

“Maybe this little sweet will help you.” He held a small white pill. Yes! I grabbed for it, but he was faster.

“Answer all of my questions first. Any illnesses in your lifetime?”

“No.”

“How far back can you remember?”

This question stilled my trembling. We stared hard at each other. He couldn’t possibly know about that. It was my ultimate secret.

He moved closer, just as he had the night we met, and lowered his voice. “Answer the question.”

I stared up at his mouth, his handsome lips, and for a second I forgot about the pill. I cleared my throat.

“Fine,” I whispered. “All the way back. My birth, and even before that. Happy?”

He nodded, straight-faced. I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that out loud to him, and he hadn’t reacted as if it were the slightest bit strange. I looked down at his hand by his side in a tight fist, my escape from reality held within it.

“Now for the important part,” he said. “Who is your father?”

“I-I don’t know. I was adopted.”

“Bollocks. You must have some idea.” He raised his arm, and his hand hovered over the water.

“There was this one man! I remember him from the day I was born. Jonathan LaGray. I’ve always assumed he was my father, but I’ve never even talked to him. Please! I don’t know anything about him. He’s in prison.” I stared at his hand as he lowered it to the safety of his side.

“Yes, of course,” said Kaidan, eyeing me differently now. “I should have guessed from your behavior tonight.”

My thoughts weren’t coherent enough to care what he meant. I was shaking all over now, frantic with longing. I had to stay in my escape world. I couldn’t go back.

“My pill,” I pleaded.

“You mean this one?” He held it up and my eyes widened. “Sorry, luv, just an aspirin.” And to my horror he nonchalantly tossed it into the lake, and with a light plunk it sank.

“No!” I screamed. He stilled me by grasping my upper arms in his strong hands.

“How long ago did he give you the drug?”

“What? I don’t know, maybe thirty, no, forty minutes?”

“It should be completely out of your system very soon. You’ll be fine. Just sit here and try to calm yourself.”

He released my arms and I sat down, resting my forehead on my knees and rocking back and forth, battling minor tremors. He was cruel for tricking me with that pill. I hadn’t wanted something that badly since those pain pills years ago.

The wind blew against my skin again and I heard tiny waves splash the rocky shore. After two minutes, the thick fog in my head started to lift and I was racked with the ugliness of clarity.

I should not have come to this stupid party. I should have left the second I found out Gene’s parents weren’t here. I couldn’t believe Scott thought it was okay to give me Ecstasy. Why had I loved it and craved more, like some kind of fiend? Ugh, I almost got my first kiss while I was high!

I looked up now and saw Kaidan sitting on the edge of the dock again, looking out at the water, and realized what his questions meant. He knew something about me. I approached him, afraid he would bolt if I pressed too hard for information.