“Are you whistling?” Suzy asks in amusement as we head to the ER.

I immediately stop and then smile.

“Huh¸ I guess I was.”

I’ve been smiling like a lovesick fool all damn morning, and now I’ve started whistling catchy tunes like a fucking Disney princess. Even though the threat of my father still looms over my head, I can’t help but be happy. DJ sent me a text on his way to work that said I can’t wait to have naked playtime with you again, and I’ve pulled it out and read it about a hundred times. He even used a smiley face emoticon. A fucking smiley face! I’m in my own little bubble of happiness and not even the last secret I’ve kept hidden from him can mar that. I’ll take it one day at a time and I’ll ease him into it. Now that I’ve opened the floodgates and started being honest with him, explaining what it was like living with my father and showing him the proof of that life, I know I’ll have the strength to talk to him about everything else when the time is right. I’ll explain to him that he’s the reason I no longer feel the need to burn myself. His love and his belief in me make that need a thing of the past. I feel like I can face anything as long as I have him by my side.

“Where’s your guard dog?” Suzy asks as we get into the elevator and I press the button for the first floor.

I didn’t really want anyone at the hospital knowing my business, but it was hard to hide the fact that I had a constant shadow in the form of a police officer. I told her the absolute minimum, just that I had gotten a few weird notes at home and the police wanted to keep an eye on me.

“He had to go to the bathroom. He’s going to meet us downstairs,” I tell Suzy as I let my mind wander back to DJ while we descend downstairs.

As soon as I can go back to my place, the first thing I’m going to do is throw away that fucking lighter and pack of cigarettes. I know doing that doesn’t mean I’m completely healed. I know I should probably go back to therapy or some shit, but that can come in time. For right now, I’m going to let DJ be the healing balm to my wounds, mentally and physically. We can spend more time together getting to know one another, I can show him with my words and actions that I do trust him and I can finally remove that last burrier between us, confident that he’ll understand and still love every part of me, fucked up or not.

“As much as I like this more chipper part of you, you might want to dial it back a notch. I heard this accident was pretty bad and the family members might not like you humming the song ‘Happy’,” Suzy says with a laugh.

Putting on my game face when the elevator doors open to the first floor, I push the blood cart out into the hallway and pick up my pace as we head to the ER. I hear Jackson yell my name to let me know he’s right behind me when we turn the corner and see a madhouse of hospital workers, racing back and forth between curtained areas.

Suzy grabs a blood collection kit from the bottom shelf of the cart, but a worker stops us to let us know that only two patients were transported via ambulance instead of the original three we were told about.

“Well, that’s good news, at least. You want me to take them?” Suzy asks.

I shake my head. “No, you go on back upstairs. I can handle it.”

She shoves her tray back onto the cart and disappears down the hall. Pushing aside the first curtain, I head inside with my cart. There’s a man lying in bed talking to a woman I assume is his wife based on the way she’s fussing over him and kissing every inch of his face.

“Knock, knock,” I announce, pushing the cart up next to the bed.

The woman moves back, but doesn’t let go of his hand.

“I’m just going to take a few vials of blood to make sure everything is okay. How are you feeling?”

He starts explaining the accident to me and I keep him talking, asking a bunch of questions to keep his mind off of the needle prick while I fill up four vials of blood. It’s over in seconds and I’m untying the tourniquet from his arm when he looks down in shock.

“Wow, you’re fast. And that was pretty painless,” he tells me with a chuckle. “Do you know how the driver of the red car is? I saw the whole thing happen and it was really bad.”

I finish marking his patient information on the vials and stick them into the blood collection tray so they can be sent up to the lab for testing once I’m finished with the next patient.

“I’m not sure, but I think they’re bringing her in next. I’ll check and let you know,” I tell him, disposing of the needle and syringe in the red biohazard container on the wall next to his bed.

Slipping off my latex gloves, I toss them into the trashcan before grabbing my cart and moving back out into the main hallway. The wife holds the curtain open for me and thanks me as I go.

I hear a loud commotion at the end of the hallway and move my cart out of the way. The doors to the ambulance bay have burst open and I see a gurney being wheeled in, surrounded by paramedics. Figuring this is the second accident victim, I start grabbing things off of my cart so I can be prepared when it’s my turn. Glancing down at the fast moving bed as it whizzes past me, my supplies drop from my hand and clatter to the floor when I see who’s on it.

My legs move on autopilot as I follow behind the gurney into an empty, curtained area. I push my way between the paramedics as they count to three and then lift Finnley from the gurney, moving her to a hospital bed. I immediately lean over my best friend, running my hands down her blood-covered face.