I was about to resume my drinking session when Ronan sent me that text and I might have thrown good alcohol across the room. Then Ahmed came over. He doesn’t approve of my newest habits, and it’s not because of his religion.

He gave me a look. That one that says he might or might not be disappointed in how I’m wasting his efforts in bringing me up. He helped re-bandage my hand and left.

His silence sliced me more than Lewis’s words and I’ve been kind of drowning in an ocean of my own choice. Good old vodka.

The door to my room opens and I barely stare back. I’m sitting on the chair in the dark, an empty bottle hanging from one hand and the bandaged one lying limp on the other side.

The light goes on, blinding me. I squint, but I don’t move my gaze from the window.

“Turn it off,” I slur. “I can’t see if it’s too bright.”

Close to midnight, no sign of her.

Just brilliant.

Way to go, Ronan. You got me.

And we need to revisit our friendship now. Either I kill him or I kill him, there’s no between.

“The fuck?” Aiden stares down at me with both his hands in his pockets. “No one mentioned a self-pity party.”

“Fuck off.” I motion at the door with my bottle.

“Are you okay?” Cole approaches me while Aiden flops on my bed and rummages through my CDs, making himself at home.

“Give me that.” I motion at the joint in Cole’s mouth. He passes it over and I take a long drag, then blow the smoke back up. “Shit, it’s just a cigarette.”

“You’re welcome.” Cole retrieves his cigarette and inhales the smoke before exhaling it through his nostrils.

If he’s smoking, shit must be hitting the fan for him, too.

Cole is a mood smoker.

“What did your father say?” Cole asks.

“You mean after you snitched to Coach that I’m drunk and he called the principal and my dear old dad?”

“Everyone smelled vodka on you, Knight.”

“More like breathed it.” Aiden leans on an elbow and grabs a ball to twirl it on his index finger.

I lay my head back. “The usual. I’m not allowed to ruin his image and blah fucking blah.”

“And the rehab,” Aiden adds. “He asked Jonathan for recommendations. If my father knows, then it’s happening.”

“At least you’ll stop getting drunk like a fool.” Cole raises an eyebrow.

“And you’ll stop the self-pity parties.”

“And the pussy moments.”

“Speaking of which, why don’t you get some?”

“Great idea.” Cole retrieves his phone. “I can call Summer or Veronica, or maybe both.”

“Add Silver to the menu and I might be interested.” I grin.

His expression doesn’t change as he tucks his phone away. “None, then.”

“Why not?” Aiden smirks. “I like Knight’s idea.”

Cole cocks his head in Aiden’s direction. “You of all people get to shut the fuck up, King.”

“Petty little bitch.” Aiden’s attention returns to me. “So, little bitch two, I don’t have all night to nurse your drunk arse. Are you going to get your shit together or should we all vote for rehab?”

“He’s going to take her virginity,” I say the only thing I’ve been thinking about. There’s so much pain in my voice, so much…fucking resignation.

“Who and who?” Cole asks.

“Yeah, details. Nash has a virgin kink.” Aiden raises an eyebrow. Cole narrows his eyes on him, then focuses back on me.

“Ronan, that fucker, is going to take her virginity,” I slur.

“That is, if she’s still a virgin.” Aiden throws the ball in the air. “This is the twenty-first century. Not everyone is waiting for a knight in shining armour. Sorry, I meant a drunk fool.”

“Kimberly might look innocent, but those are the most hardcore,” Cole adds.

“Take his word. He knows his shit.” Aiden points at Cole.

“Not better than you. Elsa seems like the hardcore type.”

Aiden’s grey eyes nearly turn black as his left one twitches. “Think about Elsa in a hardcore way again, and you’ll be buried in Jonathan’s new construction site.”

Cole smirks. “Is that a promise?”

“No, the promise is unbinding her,” Aiden says.

“She is none of your fucking business.”

Aiden raises a brow. “Are you sure, though?”

Cole flips him off then studies me again as if I’m one of his philosophical theories that he needs to set straight. “How are you sure Kim is a virgin?”

“She just is, okay? I know.” And I heard her mention it to Elsa a week or so ago when they had their girls’ sex talk, and I might have learnt shit about Aiden I can’t bleach from my mind.

And yes, in case you haven’t figured out yet, I’m a fucking creep.

“Not that you can do anything about it.” Aiden slams me with the harsh reality. “So we might as well go back to my pussy suggestion.”

“Or you can do something about it.” Cole places a hand in his pocket, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Fuck her. Get it out of your system.”

I jerk up so fast, he doesn’t even see it when I punch him in the face. People’s punches turn wobbly and weak when drunk. Mine turns stronger.

Cole staggers back, placing a hand on his mouth.

“Say the word fuck and her name in the same sentence again and I’ll bloody kill you,” I snarl in his face.

“He technically didn’t say her name.” Aiden speaks from behind us and I can feel his smirk without having to look at him.

“I’m just playing the devil’s advocate and saying what you’re thinking about.” A small, almost innocent smile curves Cole’s lips. “It’s not my fault your mind is already there. I only translate your thoughts, Knight. I don’t form them for you.”

“You can always self-destruct and let Astor do it.” Aiden whistles. “I’m sure he’ll take good care of her. He knows how to make love and all that shit.”

I groan deep in my throat and shove Cole away, plucking a bottle of vodka from the drawer and unclasping it with jerky hands. Neither Cole nor Aiden stop me. One, they don’t really care. Two, they like chaos, so they take every chance they get to watch it unfold. If my current case isn’t the definition of chaos, I don’t know what is.

I barely feel the burn of the first swallow before I follow with the second one.

“Does that mean Astor can do it?” Cole asks.

“It has to be done, after all,” Aiden adds.

“What the fuck are you suggesting, then?” I wipe the drops of alcohol on the side of my mouth. “That I do it?”

“It’s an option.” Cole blows smoke in my face.

I glare at Aiden. “If it was Elsa, would you have done it?”

“It isn’t Elsa and I don’t consider hypothetical situations.”

“I would have,” Cole says. “No thoughts.”

“You’re the fucking devil. You don’t count.”

Cole lifts a shoulder. “Then I’ll just go to hell, if there is one.”