“Take us home?” he almost pleaded. “I want to drop Levy at your parents’ and take a shower. It’s been a long day.”

I nodded. I’d figured he’d need some chauffeuring, so I’d made a quick stop at my house to pick up Dad’s car before coming here. I normally shied away from driving, but I was beginning to understand that Knight’s situation required a lot of adjusting. I was desperate to fit into his new, broken world and help any way I could.

I was already missing classes, skipping school, and falling behind by being here for God knows how long. But I would be.

Indeed, the price of Knight’s love was expensive, but I had no trouble paying my dues.

As we drove silently, Lev sat in the back, sucking his breath in to hold back his sobs. His face was a wreck, his eyes red, his hands shaking in his lap. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I needed to say something. Anything. I cleared my throat, straightening in my seat.

“I’m going to pack you a bag, Lev, give you some pizza money, and drop you at Jaime and Mel’s. I already spoke with them. You can sleep over at their place.”

I watched through the rearview mirror as Lev’s dimmed eyes lit up. I knew he loved Bailey dearly. She was his rock, as I was Knight’s. Everyone in this family needed someone strong to lean on. I just wondered who was going to be there for Dean.

“You talk?” Lev was too exhausted to be surprised.

A sad smile played on my lips.

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

Since I decided to pull my head out of my butt.

“Since…it became apparent that I need to. A few weeks. Not more. How can I make this easier for you, Levy?” I asked.

It occurred to me that when someone is dealing with something so profound as losing a loved one, perhaps instead of telling them everything will be okay—while knowing that for the foreseeable future it won’t—it would be better to ask for guidance on how to please them.

“Doesn’t Racer have the new Zelda?” Lev asked.

“He does.”

“We’ve been wanting to check it out.”

“I’ll drop it at Bailey’s,” I assured him.

After leaving Lev at the Followhills’, I let Knight nap on the couch while I ran him a bath. He smelled like hell, a piece of information I refrained from sharing with him. I had just thrown a unicorn bath bomb into the water, watching the fizz and foam dance in pink and purple on the surface, when I felt his arms tightening around my midriff, his nose nuzzling my shoulder.

“Shower,” he growled into my ear, turning off the running water. I closed my eyes, shuddering against his erection, which pressed against my butt.

“What’s wrong with a bath?” I licked my lower lip.

“Can’t fuck your brains out the way I want to in a bath.” His teeth scraped along my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

His large, ripped body moved toward the tub, unplugging it before flicking on the shower. The three showerheads came to life, and as steam gathered between the glass walls of the crème and black checked marble tiles, he turned to me, stripping.

I did the same. We took our clothes off silently. There was something clinical about it. Bitterly erotic. We were getting prepared to do something dirty in a place so clean, without any sweet words and reassuring promises.

“Are you sure you’re in the right headspace?”

“I will always be in the right headspace to be inside you. You’re my home.”

He was totally naked now, his penis hard, long, and thick, pointing at me. He offered me his hand. I took it. He took my lips with his and kissed me so hard, I began to feel dizzy in his arms, swaying back and forth. He tasted like alcohol, but I didn’t think confronting him about it would do me any good.

After, I promised myself. When we were both content and spent and napping in each other’s arms, post-orgasm, I’d go harsh on him for the drinking.

He’d been too good at keeping his addiction under wraps.

I could no longer turn a blind eye or hope it was a phase.

It was here to stay, and by God, I wasn’t going to let it.

Knight opened the shower door, helping me in and boxing me against the wall in his arms, still kissing me deep and rough. I quivered against his bulging body. Everything about him was hard and strong.

You can afford to be a little soft from the inside from time to time, my beautiful, broken Knight.

“Condom,” I murmured into his lips as he hoisted me up.

I had to wrap my legs around his narrow waist for balance. I wasn’t on the pill, and even though I’d booked an appointment back at Boon, I wasn’t taking any chances.

“I’ll finish out,” he spoke against my skin, already lined up to push into me.

I moaned. “Too dangerous.”

“So why is your grip on me tightening? C’mon, Moonshine. What’s the worst that could happen? A little baby Lunight? She’ll be cute. Plus, cosmic interference and all. I’m losing a mother, gaining a kid. Sounds about right.”

I was so shocked by his words, I found myself gaping at him as he pushed into me bareback, fucking me against the tiles. A few thrusts in, I forgot what had come out of his mouth. I forgot my own name. He pumped fast and hard, his soft, wet hair between my fingers as I cried out his name.

Knight could fill me to the brim even when he wasn’t technically inside me. Just feeling his hot body pressing against mine was enough to set me off. I felt the climax from my curled toes, like an earthquake rising up to the rest of my body, an electric shock zinging through me.

“Knight, Knight, Knight.”

I came so hard, I couldn’t hold myself wrapped around him, and he had to catch me, groping my ass with a bruising grip. His harsh fingers against my delicate skin only made the orgasm more intense. It ripped me apart in the best possible way.

He pulled out of me at the same time I dropped to my knees. I didn’t even know what I was doing. Worshipping him? Couldn’t have been much else. I didn’t know how to do the thing I wanted to do to him. I didn’t have the first clue how to do it.

Still, I stared at his big hand, pumping his dick, so raw and large and close to me, and I wanted to.

I swallowed, licking my lips and staring at his manhood.

“Can I unload down your throat?”

He’d read my mind, his voice so raspy and hoarse, it felt like fingernails dragging along my skin. He looked drunk on what we were doing, and that made me feel powerful.

“I…I don’t know how.”

“Do you know how to swallow?”

“Ah…yes.”

“Perfect. You passed the test.”

I licked my lips again. I want this dick in my mouth.

The thought surprised me, but also delighted me. I never thought I’d be into something like that.

Before I could articulate my next thought, not to mention form it, his penis was inside my mouth. It was bigger than I’d anticipated it to be, somehow. I gagged as I felt the tip in the back of my throat, my eyes filling with tears. I could taste myself on his skin, and it embarrassed me as he thrust hard and grasped the back of my head, forcing me to gag instead of pull back as was my instinct.

Instead of biting down his cock—which a part of me wanted to do—I clamped my lips over his length, a knee-jerk reaction that matched the hot heat swirling in my stomach. He groaned, and I felt warm, thick liquid rushing down my throat. I kept swallowing and swallowing it, even though it tasted salty, earthy, and strong.