“I’m trying not to,” she promised. “Honestly, the sunshine is helping a lot. And it’s nice to have some distractions.”

She tilted her chin toward the pasture to their left, where Luna was galloping by with a stalk of swizzlespice sticking out of her mouth and Wynn was racing to catch up with her, probably trying to steal it.

“They are pretty cute,” Fitz noted. “Though, if you’re looking for cute distractions, I’m more than happy to offer my snuggle services.”

He flashed a teasing smile as he stretched out his arm and patted her shoulder, inviting her to lean against him.

They both pretended not to notice how long it took her to accept the invitation.

It wasn’t because she didn’t want to.

The boyfriend thing was still just so… new.

And she couldn’t help running through a Humiliation-Risk mental checklist, trying to figure out if he’d be able to tell that she’d only had sponge baths for the last few days, or feel the nervous sweat pooling in the small of her back.

“Relax, Sophie,” Fitz whispered. “I just thought it might help you to lean your head down a bit.”

It did help.

And it definitely was distracting to feel his arm around her and hear the thump thump thump of his heartbeat against her ear.

But she couldn’t relax.

“Have Livvy or Elwin said how much longer they think it’s going to take before you’re back to one hundred percent?” he asked as his fingers played casually with a strand of her hair.

“Not really,” Sophie admitted. “But I’m guessing at least another week, since they’re still trying to limit how much medicine I take. They also think it’s going to set me back when I first test my inflicting.”

His arm tightened around her. “When will you be doing that?”

“I don’t know. Once Elwin and Livvy say I’m ready, I guess—though if they keep babying me, I might lose my temper and then there’s nothing anyone can do to stop me.”

She tried adding an evil laugh to the end of that statement, but the joke felt super forced. And she found herself once again missing the days when spending time with Fitz didn’t feel so painfully awkward.

Sure, he’d always made her nervous—but most of those worries had been connected to the fact that she was super afraid he’d figure out that she liked him and not feel the same way.

She didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

After all, he’d come by to see her.

They were snuggling.

And yet.

And yet…

She couldn’t quiet the voice in the back of her mind that kept reminding her how important matchmaking was to Fitz.

And how soon he’d be able to start picking up his lists.

And how right now, there was no way her name would be on them.

She also didn’t know how long it would take her to fix the situation or how Fitz really felt in the meantime.

Which probably meant they needed to have a long conversation—put all those fears and doubts “out there” and see where they stood.

That would be the mature, responsible way to handle the situation.

But… Sophie couldn’t seem to make her mouth form those words.

Or any words.

So she just sat there, and the silence stretched between them, making Fitz feel farther and farther away even though they’d technically never been so close.

Fitz finally ended her misery by clearing his throat and murmuring, “So… I brought you a present. Well, two presents, actually.”

“You did?”

Sophie turned her head enough to be able to see his face, and there was his perfect smile again, along with a teasing glint in his eye.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he told her. “I used to bring you presents all the time!”

He had.

It’d been one of her favorite things.

Not for the gifts themselves, which were usually just silly trinkets. But for the fact that it proved he’d been thinking about her.

It was always so easy for Sophie to convince herself that a guy like Fitz Vacker would never be interested in someone as weird as she was. But every time he brought her some sweet, thoughtful gift that proved how well he knew her, she’d think… maybe he could.

“Anyway,” he said, and she realized she was probably supposed to respond to his other statement. “Sorry I’ve dropped the ball on the gift giving lately.”

“You don’t have to apologize—”

“I do, though,” he insisted, gently helping her sit up so they could face each other. “I totally meant to bring you something yesterday, after the Council’s Regent Announcement. But my mom planned this whole dinner for Biana, and Keefe’s dad nagged me to come over and work through more memories, and then I was worried it’d be too late and you’d be sleeping, and—”

“It’s fine,” Sophie assured him. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

Or, that’s what she’d been telling herself, since she’d had to miss the big announcement.

She’d tried to go—that was why she’d dragged herself downstairs. But much as she hated to admit it, Sandor had been right to haul her back to bed. There was definitely no way she could’ve stood in a fancy gown with a crown on her head and listened to the Council answer everyone’s questions about the arrangement.

She would’ve passed out for sure.

So instead, she’d been the mysteriously absent team leader.

The one everyone was probably wondering about. Whispering about—

“Here,” Fitz said, distracting her with a tiny silver box tied with silky teal ribbon. “That’s what I meant to bring by yesterday.”

Sophie hoped he didn’t notice the way her hands shook when she untied the bow and pulled open the lid to find…

“You have a charm bracelet, don’t you?” Fitz asked as Sophie picked up the intricate silver charm—a howling dire wolf, just like her Regent patch.

“I do.” She didn’t wear it very often because Grady and Edaline had bought it after she was kidnapped, when they thought they’d be extending their annual commemorative charm tradition to another lost daughter.

But that didn’t make it any less thoughtful and amazing of a gift.

It was perfect.

Just like Fitz…

“I love it,” she told him, tucking the tiny wolf safely back into its box and wishing she could think of something more meaningful to add than, “Thank you so much.”

But she wasn’t perfect—especially when it came to romantic gestures.

Fortunately, Fitz didn’t seem to notice.

“Don’t thank me yet! You still have one more gift—and this one’s special. So special it comes with a speech.” He held her gently by her shoulders, waiting for her to meet his eyes. “I know this boyfriend-girlfriend thing is hard for you. Don’t shake your head—we both know it is. And that’s okay. I get it. And I’m sure you remember me telling you that we’d go at your pace. I asked you to trust me. And then… I don’t know, somehow things got a whole lot more complicated, and I felt like I didn’t know what to do anymore. And I know that’s probably made it even harder for you to trust me, so I want you to know that nothing’s changed for me, okay? Nothing. Still no pressure. Still no time limit. Still your pace. And I’ve been trying to figure out how to prove that, and… this is the best I could come up with.…”