Hisses and Honey Page 60

“Hades’s house?” I shook my head. “Are you sure there are no more monsters? No more bad guys to deal with?”

Ernie shrugged and then winked at me. “Only Hades. I’ll leave you to decide if he’s a monster or a bad guy. It will depend on his mood, to be honest.”

“Awesome, so he’s hormonal, is that what you’re saying?” I frowned, and Ernie laughed.

“Aren’t all the pantheon?”

He had a point that I chose to ignore. With Remo’s hand in mine, I stepped from the plane and took a good look at where we’d landed. The place was exactly what I would have conjured in my mind if someone had asked me what the underworld looked like. We were inside a dark, dank cave that was lit here and there with torches. Even that light wasn’t enough to truly illuminate the place, or the figure that sat on the stone throne in front of us.

Hades—I mean, who else could it be—was dressed in a long black cloak with a hood that was pulled up to shade his face. I couldn’t have said if he was handsome, ugly, a monster, or human, other than the fact that as he stood he was more human in shape.

“Well, well, I see you finally decided to visit, Drakaina. Tell me, how do you like the underworld so far? Is it all you could have hoped for?” His voice was a deep timbre that sounded as though it were filled with gravel.

“Please, don’t act like we didn’t already talk. You were impersonating my gramps, you jerk.” I let go of Remo and stepped forward, finding myself more than irritated. I was downright pissed, and Hades was about to hear about it. “You knew I was coming.”

“Of course I did.”

“And you made it as difficult as you could.”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“You’re an asshole,” I said. Ernie and Remo groaned at the same time, whispering for me to ease off. But I was done easing off. I was done with it all. I wanted answers, I wanted to make things right, and by heaven, hell, and the underworld, Hades was going to help me.

Whether he knew it or not.

CHAPTER 17

“I’ve been called far worse, Drakaina.” Hades didn’t seem at all bothered by my assessment of him. “But it is the first time someone who has come to me for help has called me names as an opening line.”

“I doubt it will be the last.” I took a few more steps forward. I refused to back away from him. “You started the Aegrus virus, which means you can stop it.”

“That is correct.” There was laughter in his voice that I didn’t like. Laughter at me. Like I’d come all this way for him to just tell me no. Well, he had no idea who he was up against.

“How do I get you to listen to me? What will convince you to stop the virus?” I knew how to bargain. I knew how to negotiate. It was just a matter of getting him to spill the beans as to what he wanted in exchange.

Hades stood and began to slowly pace in front of me, tucking his hands behind his back. “What, you aren’t going to offer yourself?”

“I doubt you’d want me.” I shrugged. “You have a wife that, from my recollection of the stories, you love, and she returns the sentiment.”

He grunted. “The stories are rarely anywhere near the truth. Regardless. You are right, you aren’t my type.” He paused. “No offers of money?”

“Again, I doubt that flips your switch or floats your boat,” I said.

“Interesting turn of phrase . . . ,” he murmured.

“I could always have Ernie shoot you with one of his arrows, see if that gets a response,” I said. Ernie and Hades grunted at the same time, and I kept talking. “But what I want is for you to do the right thing. People are dying.”

“Which brings me more power, stupid snake,” Hades growled. “More power means that I have more control in the world and I have more say in how things are done in Olympus. You have somehow managed to bungle your way through, surviving two heroes and avoiding a third to this point. Do you know what a pain in the ass Theseus is here? Truly.”

“I have an idea,” I said. “He was hardly easy to deal with when he was alive.”

Hades stopped in front of me, and his hooded face drew near. There was no heartbeat I could discern coming from him, and the smell rolling off him was one of burnt wood and incense . . . the smell of death wasn’t thick on him like I’d expected. I didn’t slouch. “You are a business man, then? You want power, you want a say . . . Hera has offered you those things, but she isn’t in control yet. Technically your brother still rules.”

There was a heavy pause while that dark face, its features hidden, hovered in front of me. “True,” he finally said.

“So let’s negotiate. Zeus has given me the right to negotiate in his place.”

“Zeus?” Hades roared and snapped his fingers. There was a poof, like a magician showing off his tricks.

And there was Zeus all wrapped up in chains, in front of me, a gag in his mouth and his eyes about as pissed as I’d ever seen them. There was only one thing I could do.

“Hey, Zeus.” I waved at him, as though his situation didn’t bother me in the least. Because I suddenly realized just how much the world really was waiting on me. Not just the Aegrus virus, but Zeus’s life, and the future ruler of Olympus, which was going to impact the entire world. Hickory sticks, this was going to be tougher than I’d ever imagined. I drew in a breath. “You still good with me negotiating for you?” Like he had a choice. I wanted to laugh but didn’t dare.