There can be no going back from this.

I hold his gaze. “I surrender.”

Chapter 39

War is cold steel and dark intent, and for a second after my declaration, that’s all I see on his face.

But then he smiles, looking far, far too handsome for his own good. He pulls my head down to his lips and kisses me all over again, and I feel his lust and excitement and, and—and something else. Something I’m not at all comfortable with.

The horseman breaks away, and that grin still pulls at his lips, but it’s dimming.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he says. “Your body needs to heal.”

I want to growl in frustration. He chooses now to be noble?

But War hasn’t moved away from me. He might want to do the right thing, but he’s no idealist. I can practically feel his need to be inside me, just so that he can be sure I’m truly alive.

“I almost died today,” I finally say to him, “and when I thought it was the end, do you know what I regretted most?”

He stares up at me, waiting for me to continue.

“I hadn’t said and done everything I wanted to with you. Show me what I’ve been missing.”

With that, I kiss the horseman again.

I feel it in his lips, the moment his resistance gives away. He groans into my mouth, and then his arms tighten around me. His lips go from entertaining mine to demanding more, more, more. There’s a fervor to his touch that wasn’t there before, and it feels like I’m falling headfirst into uncharted waters.

Just being in his arms has me forgetting about my last aches and pains. I don’t know if that has to do with his healing abilities, or if his presence is overwhelming the rest of my senses.

He strokes my slit again, and I hiss in a breath.

Oh God, I really did manage to convince him to do this. That becomes clear when his hand continues to stroke my core, his thumb rubbing languorous circles around my clit.

I give a frustrated moan.

Still need more.

The horseman breaks off the kiss, flashing me a devilish grin. “Did you think I’d ease your discomfort with one small declaration, wife?” he says, his voice especially low and gravelly. “I want you undone.” He punctuates his words by dipping a finger inside me. Instinctively, I move against him. I can feel wetness between my legs, wetness that has nothing to do with the bath.

My eyes narrow. Two can play that game.

I begin to reach between us when he catches my wrist. “Ah ah.” His fingers are still moving in and out of me.

I’m beginning to pant. “Please, War.”

“Please what?”

Is he really going to make me spell it out? “I want you inside me.”

I am lit on fire.

His kohl-lined eyes are heated, and I can feel his erection straining against his pants.

All at once his fingers leave me, and he picks me up, carrying me back to his bed. It’s still soiled from when I laid there earlier, and the scent of smoke and ash clings to it.

He lays me down, only pausing to remove his pants. His cock springs free, and my God, I forgot how terrifyingly large his dick is. Large enough to make my jaw ache when my mouth is wrapped around it. And the rest of the horseman is so big and violent that for a moment, my desire abates.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

War kneels at the foot of the bed, running his hands up my legs as he surveys my body. He leans forward, until his chest, with his strange, shining tattoos, presses against mine.

Whatever his earlier reservations against sex were, they’re long gone now.

Leaning down, he kisses me, the movements of his mouth more carnal than they were just moments ago. My heart is starting to pound faster and faster. This doesn’t feel like a little innocent experimentation, or a bad decision fueled by too much booze. This doesn’t even feel like regular sex. (Not that I have a ton of experience in that department.) Maybe it’s the way War is looking at me, but what we’re about to do feels heavy with meaning.

It’s just a simple, physical act, I reassure myself. Plenty of people do this. It’s no big deal.

The horseman’s hand goes back to my clit, maybe to tease me some more, but I’m already drenched.

He flashes a wicked smile when he feels how ready I am.

“Wife, how I have anticipated this day. And now to see your sweet body aching for mine. I find I am more eager for this than even battle.” He says this like he’s surprised himself a little.

Whatever. I’m past the point of caring. All I know is that I need the horseman in me in a way I haven’t needed anything in a long time.

He strokes me again and again, even though he doesn’t need to. Even though I’m already mad with desire.

I arch into each touch, desperate for more.

Suddenly, his hand is gone. His hips shift, and a moment later, I feel the tip of him press against my opening.

I tense, remembering how big he is. After holding him in my hand and on my tongue, I thought I understood his size. But I didn’t. I’m only realizing that now.

With one slow stroke of his hips, I feel War begin to enter.

He hisses as he meets resistance. “Relax, wife. We were meant to fit together.”

Um, only a woman with a vagina as big as a crater was meant to fit War’s cock.

The horseman waits until he feels me begin to relax, my legs spreading a little wider. He begins to push in again.

Dear God. It seems impossible, and yet I feel my flesh give way, making room for his seemingly unbearable size. My fingers dig into his back when the stretching becomes too much.

He pauses, staring down at me. “Miriam?”

“Just … give me a moment. It’s a lot …” Of dick. So much dick.

I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. After several seconds, I nod. “Okay. I’m okay.”

War continues his slow sink into me, his gaze searching mine. “Wife,” he says, looking gobsmacked, “you feel incredible.”

War’s face is nothing short of rapturous. I know he’s seasoned at this, so I’m surprised to see how much it’s affecting him.

His eyes are intensely focused on me. I’d have assumed that they’d be drifting far, far away as sensation overwhelmed him, but he’s so present.

Disconcertingly present.

He’s sweating with his need to move slow, to be gentle. I can tell a driving force in him wants to thrust his cock inside me as fast as possible and then to fuck me with abandon. I can practically feel him vibrating with the need. And maybe he’ll eventually do that, but I don’t think that will happen today.

It takes ages, but finally, his hips meet mine as he seats himself fully inside me, stretching me to my limits.

I release a breath. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt anything so exquisite in my life. And he hasn’t even started moving yet.

“I have waited ages for this moment,” he says. “Cannot believe it’s finally upon me.” War smiles again, and I can’t get over how unbearably handsome he is.

I’m shaking with need, my legs splayed on either side of him, feeling more vulnerable than I ever have. I didn’t expect that. This was supposed to just be sex. But the way War is staring down at me, it feels like everything I’ve worked so hard to brick away is being exposed all at once.