To my horror, about ten meters behind me, a zombie has left its comrades to follow me.

That’s when I begin to run.

Chapter 49

I don’t think I have much time.

I’m still not sure what bond the horseman shares with his undead soldiers, but I suspect he can sense the world through them. Maybe their bond is strong enough to wake him from sleep, or maybe a zombie is going back to wake him right now. I don’t know how they warn him, only that it’s inevitable that he will be warned—and sooner rather than later.

The dead soldier is still following behind me. He hasn’t closed the distance between us, but I’m not losing him either. I push my legs faster and faster.

I need to find a bike as soon as possible. Then maybe I’d stand a chance of losing the zombie, and thus, War.

Just the thought of the horseman is crushing.

It’s all the fault of my soft heart, as he would say. It hates this too. With every step I take, it shouts that I’m a fool to run, a fool to leave. It believes in the best of War, which is why I ignore it.

Hearts are proven to be idiots.

I haven’t made it a kilometer down the road before I stop running. I thread my fingers together over my head and take several deep breaths.

This was a bad idea. All of it—every single decision that led me here. Running, sleeping with War, allowing him to insert himself into my life. All of it.

I glance over my shoulder.

The zombie has stopped behind me. He seems to be waiting for me to make my next move.

Be brave.

My mantra crashes over me, and for once, I think about it in a whole new way.

I’ve assumed the entire time I’ve been with the horseman that I have been brave, but I haven’t. I’ve been denying and running from this terrible, heady feeling I get when I’m around him.

But there is no outrunning him or these feelings.

I need to face the horseman down—in love or in war. Even if it means the worst.

No more deeds done in the dark of the night. Whatever comes, I’ll face it head on.

In the distance I swear I can hear the pounding of hooves. Maybe it’s just my imagination.

I squint into the darkness, and no—there looks to be a figure on the road.

There’s only one other person confident enough to venture along these roads at night.

War and his steed manifest out of the darkness, Deimos’s deep red coat looking almost black right now.

The horseman pulls up short.

He looks at me, his eyes wild. “Where are you going?” His face is almost mad with panic.

Be brave.

“I was running from you,” I say.

His face crumbles. It’s an expression I’ve never seen on him before.

“Do you truly hate me that much?” he asks, his voice lowering with his emotion.

“I don’t hate you at all, War,” I say, the evening breeze tugging at my hair. “And I should, I really should.”

He stares down at me from Deimos, looking so tragic. The wind tugs at his own hair, and God, even cast in shadow, he’s magnificent. He could never pass for a mortal, not ever.

I put a hand over my stomach. For the second time today, the horseman notices the action … and again, it doesn’t register.

“Did you ever think about what would happen?” I say. “A human and an immortal get together, even though he’s sworn to kill her kind, and she’s determined to defend them? Did you ever think about the ramifications?”

War hops off his mount, moving slowly, like I might run if he makes any sudden movements. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you, we can fix it—I will fix it.” He takes several steps forward, stopping just short of me. “Hate me, curse me, just please come back to me, Miriam,” he says. His voice breaks. “Please, come back.”

He’s begging. And I’m trusting the universe to pull through for me because there are too many forces at work that are bigger than me.

I begin to nod, closing the distance between us.

That’s all the confirmation War needs to reel me into his arms. He holds me tightly for a long time, like I might slip away with the evening breeze.

Eventually he pulls away enough to gaze down at me, his eyes intense. “I love you,” he confesses.

I don’t breathe.

“I love you, Miriam,” he repeats. “I hadn’t known until last night what this strange happiness I felt around you was. But I do now. Being with you makes me feel as though I have swallowed the sun. Everything is brighter, fuller, better because of you.”

I have no defense against this. I never have. I can take War’s cruelties, I can take his violence. But his love—it cracks me wide open.

“I love you,” he continues, “and yet it has been destroying us both.” He shakes his head. “I won’t let that continue to happen. I have wounded you and wronged you, and I will change—I vow I will change.” He grips me tightly.

I suck in a breath at that.

War told me once that human oaths were brittle things—bound to break with time. In the same conversation he said that his vows—those were unshakeable. And he was right. I begged and pleaded for him to change, I threatened and betrayed, and I got nearly nowhere with him.

Until now. Because now his vow is changing. And I don’t know what exactly this one entails, only that I’m stupid enough to be hopeful.

No, not stupid. Brave. I’m brave enough to be hopeful.

“Say something,” he says.

Have faith. That’s what I told War earlier. And that’s all religion ever really was for me. Faith. That things will get better, in this world and the next.

It’s time for me to remember how to have faith in the universe.

I open my mouth and the words spill out.

“I’m pregnant.”

Chapter 50

It takes several seconds for the words to percolate through War. His brow furrows and then—

The horseman’s eyes widen, and his grip on me tightens just a fraction.

“Truly?” he asks, his eyes searching mine.

Hope this wasn’t a mistake.

I nod, sucking in my lower lip. “Yeah. You knocked me up real good.”

War’s gaze moves down to my stomach. After a moment, he places one of his large hands on my abdomen. “You’re carrying my child.” His fingers flex against my flesh. “My child.”

I see his throat work, and I’m petrified, utterly petrified.

War’s gaze moves back to mine, and his eyes shine.

Is he sad? Is he happy?

The horseman takes my face into his. “I have never felt this … joy.”

He lets out a laugh, and his eyes … his violent, scary eyes tear up.

Oh my God. He’s happy. Obscenely happy. And now, for the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I feel a spark of happiness too. More than a spark. I smile a little shyly at him, and he takes my face.

“Is this what you were running from?”

I pause for a moment, then nod.

He presses his forehead to mine. “You will never have to fear me, wife—nor will our children. I swear it before God Himself.”

Children? Did he just assume there’d be more?

War kisses me then, and I get swept away by him. I can feel the horseman’s excitement and his hope in the press of his lips. My heart races. He wants the whole human package—marriage, children, everything. I’m not sure I entirely believed it until now.