A Heart So Fierce and Broken Page 5
“I know.” He pushes the tray over. “The other half are for you.”
I climb onto the stool beside him, and Jodi slides a plate and a knife onto the counter for me. My trip across the city was long and grueling and destroyed my appetite, but I take a crab from the pile anyway. Tycho is usually so reserved that I don’t want to rain on his spirit.
Jodi comes to lean against the bar. Her brown hair hangs to her waist, with feathers and stones braided into some of the strands. She’s tan from the sun, with freckles on her cheeks and a tiny gap between her front two teeth. Her chest all but spills out of her dress when she rests against her forearms, and she offers me a wide smile.
It’s an effect not lost on me, but I spent so long forswearing any kind of relationship that I’ve forgotten what a flare of attraction could feel like.
No. That is not true. I remember Harper. I remember the kindness in her eyes and her endless tenacity and the feel of her hand under mine when I showed her how to throw knives in the snow.
That was forbidden then, and it’s forbidden now. Thoughts of Harper will go nowhere useful, so I shove them away.
“Wine or ale?” Jodi says.
“Water.” I split a crab leg with the knife and pull the meat free. “If you please.”
She pouts. “You never drink.”
I shrug. “Tycho already spent my coins on the food.” This isn’t true, but I have no head for spirits. It wasn’t allowed when I was a guardsman, and the one time I shared a bottle with Rhen, it nearly put me on the floor. As Hawk, I worry what truths would spill from my lips if I dared to try.
Then again, maybe they wouldn’t. When I was in the Royal Guard, I always felt that my life had been split into two acts. There was before, when I was a young farm boy, looking for a way to help keep my family alive.
Then there was after, when I was a guardsman, making my life by keeping the royal family alive. There were times when my family became a distant memory, almost people my imagination conjured instead of individuals I’d lived with and cared for.
Now it seems I’ve found a third act. Some days the castle and the curse feel as imaginary as my family. I don’t know how much of Grey the guardsman is left.
Jodi sets a glass of water in front of me. I drain half in one swallow, wipe at my mouth with a napkin, then split another crab leg with the knife.
“You eat like a nobleman,” she says, her tone musing. “I don’t think I ever noticed that before.”
My fingers hesitate, but I force my hand to move, to split another shell. She’s not wrong, but it’s not something I ever considered: I eat like a man who was trained to dine with royalty.
I try to do it more clumsily, though it probably looks forced. In a moment, I’m going to take off a finger with the knife. I offer Jodi a smile and give Tycho a good-natured shove. “It’s more likely that you’re used to drunkards digging for the meat with their teeth.”
Tycho smiles shyly. “I’m not drunk, at least.” His eyes fall on the makeshift bandage I wrapped around my arm. “What did you do to your wrist?”
I break the next crab leg in half with my hands, conscious of the fact that Jodi is watching me now. “Worwick has a new pet.”
“A new pet?”
Before I can answer, the door at the front of the tavern swings open with enough force to bounce against the opposing wall. Half a dozen men come through, fully armed, their armor bearing the gold and red crest of Emberfall.
Not Royal Guardsmen, but soldiers in the King’s Army. I freeze, then force myself to turn back to my food. Beside me, Tycho goes equally quiet, for his own reasons.
I suddenly find myself very much wishing for a sword at my hip. My fingers casually wrap around the hilt of the knife.
I am likely being foolish. I only got a cursory glance, but I don’t recognize any of them. It would be very unlikely for them to recognize me. My hair has grown out a bit, and my face is unshaven.
With any luck, no one is looking for me anyway. I simply have no way to know.
One of the men steps up to the bar. He flips a bronze coin down onto the wood. “Food and wine for my men, if you please.”
Jodi pockets the coin and offers a curtsy. “Right away, my lord.”
He’s no lord, but he’ll eat that right up. Two of his men whistle from the table they’ve taken near the door.
The soldier tosses another bronze on the bar and clears his throat. “You have my thanks.”
“As you have mine.” She pockets this coin too, and as he turns away, Jodi winks at me.
I can barely smile back. I’m too worried about what they’re doing here. We’re far from the border. This is not a town that sees many soldiers.
The man pauses before moving away. He’s looking at me now.
I take a sip from my glass and measure the weight of the knife between my fingers. I can lodge it in his throat without thought. My arm remembers the motion. It’s lighter than my throwing knives were, so it wouldn’t take as much—
“Are those steamed crabs?” he says. “We haven’t seen shellfish in ages.”
I clear my throat and force my fingers to let go of the knife. When I speak, my voice sounds rough. “Jodi makes the best in the city.”
“We picked the right place then.”
I finally look at him. I have to take the chance, because otherwise I’ll look like I’m hiding something.
He’s dark-haired, with ruddy skin and a large build. I don’t recognize him at all. Relief slides through my chest, and I take a breath. “You won’t regret it.” I pause. “Traveling far?”
“Heading north, to Hutchins Forge,” he says. “Official business.”
“Of course.” I offer him a nod, then slide off the bar stool. “Travel safely, Soldier.” I drop a handful of coins beside my plate. “Tycho, we’re due back.”
We haven’t finished what was on the tray, but he scurries off the stool and follows me to the door. We step out into the blazing sunlight.
Before the door swings closed, I hear one of the soldiers say, “For the love of silver, Captain, people know towns are rebelling because of another heir. The rumors are in every city.”
I grab hold of Tycho’s sleeve and hold my breath, hoping to hear more.
“What do you think the prince will do when he finds him?” says one of the others.
The captain snorts. “Take his head off, most likely. The king is dead. The crown prince will take his place. He’s not going to let some outsider—”
The door swings shut, leaving us out in the sunlight.
Tycho peers up at me. “Those soldiers made you nervous.”
I don’t like that he saw right through me. I bump him with my shoulder. “They made you nervous, too.”
He blushes and looks away.
I shouldn’t have said that. I was trying to take the focus off myself, but instead, I put it squarely on him. “Race you back?” I say.
“I thought you were out of coppers.”
“If you win, I’ll do all your stalls tomorrow.”
He grins and takes off without hesitation, without even considering the heat or the food that fills his belly. I’ll probably find him vomiting shellfish halfway back.
I keep walking.