A Heart So Fierce and Broken Page 56

I’m not sure what to say.

“You keep treating me like this bumbling idiot,” he snaps, “but I’m not reckless, and I’m not weak. I held my own in DC before we ever came here, and I can hold my own in Emberfall. I got your ass out of Ironrose after Rhen tore you and Tycho apart. And I didn’t just save you last night. I killed one of Rhen’s guardsmen. I put my neck on the line. I’m ready to ride into enemy territory with you. You think this is all on the off chance that you might one day be able to get us home? Are you kidding me?”

“Jacob—”

“I’m not done. I know you spent like four billion years trapped in that castle with no one but Rhen, and I won’t even tell you what Noah thinks that must have done to your mental state, but—” He breaks off and makes a frustrated noise. “He wasn’t your friend, Grey. He had an eternity to be your friend, and he wasn’t. Even when you were dragged back to that castle, even after everything, he treated you like a criminal.”

“Rhen is protecting his kingdom.”

“You’re not his guardsman anymore. You owe him nothing. Stop acting like you do.” I flinch. He takes a swig from the bottle again and sighs. “You saved Noah’s life last night, Grey. You saved mine. I might have made you swear an oath to me, but we’ve moved way past that.”

I didn’t realize.

I should have.

“Forgive me—” I begin.

“Oh, shut up. Here.” Jacob holds out the bottle. The amber liquor swirls and glitters in the light from the distant fire.

I inhale to refuse, but I am struck by his words. You’re not a guardsman anymore.

I seize the bottle and upend it, swallowing fire.

Jake snorts. “Okay, take it easy, tiger.”

I cough and hand it back. “That tastes terrible.”

“I know. It’s fantastic. That Eowen guy said it was the best he had.” Jacob takes a long swallow himself. “More?”

I should refuse.

I don’t. This sip burns as much as the first. My thoughts feel loose and scattered already.

Jacob is watching me. “I’m surprised you and Rhen weren’t lit every day of that curse.”

“He was. On occasion.” On the last night of the final season, Rhen and I shared a bottle of sugared spirits and toasted our failures. He encouraged me to escape the curse, to find a new life away from Ironrose.

He was trying to protect me.

I have long thought we should have been friends, Grey. That’s what he said the day I was dragged back to the castle.

He flayed my back open the next day. Out of fear of the unknown.

He had an eternity to be your friend, Jacob said.

Suddenly I want to drain this whole bottle. For that reason alone, I shove the cork back in. “We will reach Syhl Shallow in a day’s time,” I say, and my voice has gone husky.

“That’s what Iisak said, too.”

“Lia Mara claims she can assure our safety, but I would like to offer the illusion of strength all the same.”

“What does that mean?”

“Perhaps you should ride at my side.”

“Like a servant?”

“No.” I pause. This feels like it might be a bad idea, but my ability to care is quickly vanishing. “Like a second-in-command.”

He pulls the cork free and takes a swallow. “I’m not like you. I can’t be like you were to Rhen.”

No. He can’t. He might not be reckless and weak, but he is headstrong and impulsive.

Maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Jacob is studying me. “Or are you just trying to do the same thing Rhen did?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you trying to fake it?” His expression darkens. “Are you asking me to sit on a horse and look like hired muscle?”

I hesitate.

He rolls his eyes and goes to take another drink from the bottle.

I reach out and pull it away from him. We’re both a bit drunk now, and my words feel fuzzy and a little more honest than I’m ready for. “Would you be able to do it without faking it?”

His eyes meet mine, and I think he’s going to be flippant and defiant about this, the way he is about most everything.

Instead, he says, “Yeah. I could.”

“Taking orders requires trust, Jacob. You would have to trust me.”

“Like … not try to drown you?”

I lift my eyes skyward. “Forget I asked.”

“No. I can do that.” He pauses. “If you can trust me when I say you’re wrong.” He draws back his sleeve, where more than a dozen stitches lace up the skin of his wrist. “Instead of doing this.”

My eyes widen. “You have my word.”

He puts out a hand. “Deal.”

I clasp it. “I may regret this when I’m sober.”

“Yeah, same.” He tries to jerk the bottle back from me.

“Enough.” I hold fast. “We are still in danger, Jacob.”

“Fine.” He sighs and lets go. “And, look. If we’re going to be friends, you’re going to have to start calling me Jake.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

LIA MARA

For the first time in days, the mood among our traveling party carries little tension. I’m playing cards with Noah and Tycho and Iisak, though the scraver seems more focused on the distant conversation between Jake and Grey.

“Can you hear them?” I say softly.

He gives a short nod, then lays a card on the pile between us.

“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” says Noah. He adds another card.

“I cannot help what I am,” says Iisak.

“Are they going to kill each other?” says Tycho, and his voice says he’s not entirely joking.

“No,” says Iisak. He pauses and surveys the cards in his hand. “The young prince is wise.”

I glance over at where the young men are speaking, but they’ve already risen and are approaching the fire. I quickly look back at my cards.

“Your Highness,” says Iisak. “Join us.”

“I’ve told you to stop calling me that,” Grey says, but his voice holds no rancor. He eases to the ground beside me unsteadily, then rubs at his eyes.

Jake trails his fingers across Noah’s shoulder and says, “I’m going to crash for a few hours.”

“Crash?” I echo.

Jake grins. “Sleep.” Noah’s hand comes up to cover his for a brief moment, then lets go. Jake disappears into the darkness.

I watch him go, very conscious of Grey at my side. I’ve been worried about him since the fight with Jake—no. In truth, since we rode out of Blind Hollow.

“You didn’t kill each other,” says Tycho.

“Not yet,” Grey drawls.

“Jake is a good guy,” says Noah. He rearranges the cards in his hand, then adds one to the growing pile.

Grey makes a noncommittal sound. “I have asked him to ride at my side when we enter Syhl Shallow.”

Noah looks up. “Really.”

Grey nods. “We will need a show of strength if we can manage it.”

I look across at Iisak, meeting his coal-black eyes. Now I understand what he meant about the prince being wise.