For Nolla Verin to refuse. That’s what I’m waiting for. Grey’s expression has gone cold and still. The troops wait. The Royal Houses wait. The air of anticipation is almost palpable.

I keep hoping for peace. I keep longing for empathy.

I keep expecting people to act as I would.

I forgot that my mother rules through fear and violence.

I forgot that I am worthless to her.

Nolla Verin looks stunned, but she has never had the will to refuse our mother. She nods and steps off the dais.

My heart stumbles and falls in my chest.

No. Sister.

Two sisters, one heart.

Please, Nolla Verin.

She disappears into the palace. She will be at my door in minutes. She has never failed our mother. Never.

My eyes search the room, as if weapons would magically appear on the wall.

I am such a fool. Grey offered escape, and I refused.

I throw open the door, and Parrish is there, barring the way. His ruined eye is still red, mottled bruising surrounding the stitching that holds the lids closed. I have begged for release before, and he has always refused. He never listens to my apologies, so I don’t know why he would now.

“Parrish, please,” I whisper.

He reaches out as if to slam the door in my face.

I throw out a hand to stop him, putting my weight into it. “Please,” I say. “Please. Parrish, she will make Grey kill me.”

He stares back at me, his remaining eye unreadable.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so sorry for Sorra. I’m sorry. I would take her place. I would undo it if I could.”

“You wanted peace,” he growls, and I’ve never heard his voice like this. “You’re getting it.”

“No. Not like this. He doesn’t want to kill for someone else. You don’t understand. Please. Please, Parrish.”

“I loved her!” he roars. “You beg me for your life. I loved her.”

“I know.” My voice breaks. “I know. I saw it every time you were together. Please. Nolla Verin is coming—”

“Enough.” He moves to force the door closed, but I wedge myself into the opening.

He draws his dagger and puts it against my throat.

I freeze.

“I was given orders to use deadly force if you attempted to leave.”

I swallow, and the blade jumps against my skin.

“Parrish,” I rasp.

He says nothing. I watch emotion flash through his remaining eye, but that blade does not move.

I close my eyes. “You wanted peace, too, Parrish. You wanted peace, and Sorra wanted it for you.” I have to swallow again. His blade is so sharp. “She loved you. I didn’t know what—” I gasp. “I didn’t know what Rhen would do.”

He says nothing. Nolla Verin must be mere moments away.

“Grey saved your life,” I say. “He has no part in what I did. I would take it back if I could. I would bring us back to that moment in the woods and I would say my mother was right.”

“No,” says Parrish. “You would not.”

But the knife doesn’t leave my neck.

He’s not wrong.

“Parrish,” I say. “You can run, too. You know what she will do with you if she secures this alliance. You know she seeks vengeance.”

“There is nothing more she can take from me.”

“She can assign you to serve in Emberfall. She can force you to work in tandem with the men who killed Sorra. She can have you serve in the very room where she died.”

“Enough.”

This time his voice is very quiet. My breathing is almost shaking. The weight of his dagger hasn’t left my throat.

“We loved you, too,” he says.

I clench my eyes shut. A tear slips free. “I know. And I loved you both as well.”

The dagger slips free. “Go.”

My eyes snap open. “Parrish,” I whisper.

“Are you a fool?” His remaining eye blazes at me. “Go!”

“You must run. You must—”

“They are not after me, Lia Mara.”

He’s right. I run. I don’t even have boots on, but my feet grip at the stone floor, and I round the corner.

Nolla Verin is standing there. She’s in armor instead of robes, ready to ride at Grey’s side to attack Emberfall. A bow is over her shoulder, a sword at her hip. Her eyes are red but determined.

I skid to a stop. My breathing is a loud rush in the hallway.

She is steady. Always steady. I cannot outrun my sister. I cannot outfight her. When she squares her shoulders and starts forward, my muscles are screaming at me to run, but I cannot.

She is my sister. My sister.

I raise my hands in the air. “I will not fight you, Nolla Verin.”

She strides right up to me, her face so fierce. She will make such a great queen.

Then, instead of taking my hands and dragging me out of the castle, she wraps her arms around me and presses her face into my shoulder.

“I can’t,” she cries. “I can’t.”

I wrap her up in my arms and hold her. “You can,” I whisper. “You can.”

I don’t know how long we stand there. The castle is so silent. Anyone of importance is on the training fields, ready to march. Nolla Verin cries into my shoulder, and we clutch at each other for the longest time. She holds me so tightly that her weapons press into the front of my body, and I’ll probably have bruises tomorrow.

If I’m alive tomorrow.

“They will come for you,” I whisper eventually. My sister is here with me, and all will be well. It means nothing to vow my life for this alliance, for peace, if I am not willing to do as I said. I will not risk Nolla Verin along with myself. “You must take me.”

“I love you,” she says. She draws back and brushes the hair from my face. “I hope you know that.”

“Of course I know that.” I do not mention the moments wondering if she loved her quest for power more. I do not mention all our differences. Her love is potent in the air around us. When she embroidered that pillow for me, I saw her love in every stitch. “I love you, too.”

She grips me so tightly. “I am sorry I did not come to you.”

“Your heart was with me.”

“No. My heart was uncertain.” She sniffs. Her eyes search mine. “Will you tell me what happened when you were alone with Grey in the woods?”

“Nothing—truly. Nothing. We … we talked.” My face warms. “We were friends.”

“The truth, Sister.” Her voice is so soft. “Please.”

My heart flutters, and I press a hand to my chest. “In Emberfall, I knew I was bringing Grey home to you. I knew you would need to form an alliance with him. I knew he would find you beautiful and powerful and all the things you are.”

“Something happened between you on the veranda.”

I frown. “It was a mistake.”

She takes my hands and clutches them between her own. “Lia Mara … I am not asking if you betrayed me.”

I choose my words with care. “Then what are you asking me?”

“I am asking if you love him.”

I shiver. “I do not know.”

“You do know.”