A Curse So Dark and Lonely Page 54

Lilith lets go of my cheek. The vision disappears.

“Family tragedy,” Lilith says. “Such the pity.”

Rage builds in my chest. “Grey. Stab her again.”

I don’t expect Grey to obey, but he does. His blade flashes in the light and buries itself in her shoulder. She doesn’t cry out, but a small sound escapes her lips.

The expression on her face isn’t pain, though. It’s closer to euphoria. “I would so enjoy visiting you tonight, Grey. But I believe I have a better idea.”

She is so messed up. My thoughts won’t work in any direction.

“What do you want?” My voice cracks. “What do you want to send me home?”

“From you? Nothing.” Another cough. “Do you know why I granted Grey the ability to cross over to your side?”

I can barely think straight. “What? I don’t—no. I have no idea.”

“He is not trapped by the curse. He can leave at any time, but he will not. Not even when I gave him reason.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Commander Grey will not yield,” she says. “Not even when I described how his family would die.”

His expression is frozen, his eyes stony. He says nothing.

“I did not kill them all,” Lilith says. “You had so many brothers and sisters. I likely did your wanton mother a mercy.”

Every time I think Lilith cannot grow more terrible, I discover I am wrong. “Grey,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forswore family,” he says. His voice is tight and dark.

He told me that once before. I never really thought about what it might mean.

“It is by virtue of Grey’s loyalty alone that Rhen does not need to prey on his own people,” says Lilith. She smiles up at him. “I truly underestimated you, Commander.”

“Your mistake.”

“But it wasn’t a mistake. I believe your loyalty will work in my favor.”

I don’t understand. I’m so shaken by the image of my mother and brother that I can barely focus on what she’s saying right now.

Then she says, “I will grant Grey the ability to cross the veil between worlds at his whim. He can return you home at any time, Princess.”

“You—what?”

“He can return you home. You need not bargain anything from me. The person you must bargain with is Grey.”

With that, she disappears.

I can’t stop shaking. My mother has been dying for months—her death was at the end of this tunnel before I even arrived in Emberfall. But this is more than my mother. This is Jake.

I stare up at Grey. His eyes are closed off.

“Please,” I say.

“If I return you home, the curse has no chance to be broken.”

I put my hands against his chest. “Please, Grey. My brother has no one.”

“This is our final season. Our final chance.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. There are people depending on us. On me. But I can’t erase the sound of my brother begging from my ears. “Please, Grey. Please.”

He looks away. A clear refusal.

“You broke your oath before,” I say desperately. “She said you took a bribe—”

He whips his head around, fury in his eyes. “It was a coin pressed into my palm, from a woman I’d seen share his affections in the Great Hall. It was silly. Frivolous. A hundred other guardsman had done it before me. I was young and tired and bored. So yes. I took her coin and I allowed her to wait in his chambers. Instead of spending the night alone, he spent the night with her. If you think I have not regretted that moment for every minute of every single one of these seasons, you are wrong indeed.”

“Please,” I whisper.

“No.”

The door at the end of the arena slams open. Rhen bursts through, slightly breathless. “Harper! I have good news! A messenger has arrived with word from—” He stops short, and everything positive drains out of his face. “Something has happened. Tell me.”

I open my mouth to tell him.

Instead, I burst into tears.

Rhen moves before me. “My lady. Please—”

I jerk away from him. Blinded by tears, I run from the arena.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

RHEN

I find Harper in her chambers, crying into her hands while Freya strokes her hair back from her face.

“Please, my lady,” Freya is whispering. “Please tell me what has happened.”

I stop in the doorway and put up a hand before Grey can announce me. The sorrow in her posture is so potent. Fear and grief have swept over her so quickly.

“Freya,” I say. “Leave us, please.”

Freya gets to her feet and gives a short curtsy. “Your Highness.”

“No,” says Harper. Her voice shakes and fresh tears fall. “Rhen. You go. I can’t—I can’t do this right now.”

Freya hesitates, clearly torn between following my order and hers.

“The princess has received distressing news about her family in Disi,” I tell her.

Harper laughs, but there’s no joy in the sound. “Distressing. Yeah.”

“Leave us,” I say again, and this time my voice is final.

Freya bobs another curtsy and quickly ducks from the room. The door closes with a heavy click behind her.

“My lady,” I say quietly.

Harper looks at me through her tears. “So Grey told you?”

“He did.” I cross the room and stop by the bench where she’s curled up. Her cheeks are flushed and damp, and there’s blood on her chemise. “May I join you?”

She ignores the question and says, “I started to forget.”

“To forget?”

“I started to forget them.” She gazes up at me, torment in her eyes. “They started to feel like a dream. Another life. I was happy here. And now—now I know exactly how bad their lives are. They’re going to die, Rhen.”

“I know.” I ease onto the bench beside her.

“It was ten seconds and it was awful. The sound, the smell—I could feel Jake’s fear. I don’t know how you put up with that for days on end.”

I stroke her hair back from her face. “My lady.”

“I begged Grey to take me back. He won’t do it.” She sniffs and presses a hand to her stomach. “The worst thing is that I understand why.”

“Do you?”

“Of course. I don’t even know if I’d do it. It’s your last chance. I’m the only one who can break the curse. You’ve got all this going on with Karis Luran. I just—I just—I—”

“You do not love me.”

“It’s not about not loving you. It’s about loving them.”

The room is so warm and dim and we’ve spent countless hours right here, yet this conversation feels more intimate than any we’ve shared. “You want to protect your family.”

“Yes.” Her voice breaks. “I’m probably being selfish. There are thousands of people here at risk. They’re two. And my mother is living on borrowed time. But there’s no one to help Jake. No one, Rhen.”

“As I said, we are not always presented with the choices we want, but choices exist nonetheless.”

“I know. And I know why Grey made the choice he did.” She presses her hands to her face. “Even though I hate him a little bit right now.” She draws a shaky breath. “Lilith is so awful, Rhen. The way home is right there, and I have no way to get it.”

“Yes.” My voice is grave. “She also knows that if we trap you here, you will never love me, and she will win. Yet if you return home, the curse will go unbroken, and she will win.”

“She wins either way.”

“Indeed.” I run a finger along her jaw and tilt her face up. “Which is why I’ve ordered Grey to take you home.”

She grabs my wrist. “What?”

“I have ordered Grey to take you home.” I pause. “You mentioned some kind of issue with debtors, but that, at least, is something I can assist with, so I will have a satchel of silver, or jewels, if you prefer—”

Harper launches herself off the bench and throws herself against me. Her arms are tight against my back, her face pressed into my shoulder. “Thank you,” she gasps. “Thank you.”

Unlike our moment in the hallway in the inn, I am no longer at odds with how to respond to this. My arms fall against her back. I drop my head to speak along her temple. My throat is tight, but I speak through it. “You act with such surprise each time. I told you I would give you anything within my power to give.”

She jerks back to stare up at me. “But—Karis Luran—”

“It will be fine,” I say. “You received word about your mother’s declining health, and so you had to return to Disi. We knew this could happen. We planned for it.”

“You plan for everything.”

Untrue. I had not planned on how it would feel to let her go.

She is right. Lilith is awful. No matter what I do, she finds the cruelest way to torture me at every turn.

“I’m sorry,” Harper whispers. “I’m sorry I didn’t break the curse.”