I close my eyes as a tear falls. I won’t let him see me though. “No.” I say the word as we walk away.

It’s honest.

It hurts.

But it’s the first real thing I’ve said to him.

Grace pulls me against her, and we move. The tears don’t stop. The alcohol has unleashed the things I’ve hidden. I plop into a chair with my head in my hands. “I’m so foolish,” I say as Grace rubs my arms.

“Go grab her some water, Grace. I’ll take her outside for some air.” Zach’s deep timbre is close to my ear.

I look up with blurry vision, but I know it’s him. I would be able to see him if I were blind.

“Let’s go outside. You don’t need eyes on you.” His hand extends, and I don’t hesitate. When our skin touches, my chest aches. I don’t want to feel anymore. Why can’t I close myself off? The confusion whips around in my head, tying me up and fusing me to him. Zach’s touch spurs a myriad of reactions.

Once we get out back, I rip my hand from his. “Why are you here? Why do you have to be here? Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Why are you so hell-bent on pushing me away?”

“Because you mess with my head!” The tears fall as I look in the blue eyes I’ve missed. “Why do you care? Why are you out here with me and not with her?”

“Because you’re in pain,” he says as if that makes any sense.

“You have no idea, Zach. You can’t even begin to imagine how much pain I’m in.”

“Tell me. I’m always your friend. Just talk to me and tell me. Get it out, Presley. What has you in so much pain that you can’t even see what you have here?”

Anger flows from the pit of my stomach. Hate, regret, fear, devastation all bubble to the surface. I look at him and want him to understand. He did this. Todd did this. “Because of you and him! You’re the same. You leave. You take and take, and then you both threw me away like I was nothing.” The agony pours out from every fiber of me. “Am I that bad? Am I worth nothing? Don’t you see, Zach?” I choke on the words. “You left me alone and scared. Then Todd put me together only to fucking hang himself because I wasn’t worth the time to talk about it. He left me and those boys like we meant nothing. God!” I grip the side of my head as I explode from every cell in my body. I can’t stop crying or feeling. My words are like a volcano erupting. “Selfish! You’re both selfish!”

“Presley.” He steps forward, but when he touches me, I flinch back. “It wasn’t like that with me.”

His words only enrages me more. “It was exactly like that! I’m not healing because you all have cut me so deep, there’s no cure. I needed you to stay! I loved you so much that a part of me died when you left me. You broke me so much more than I even knew! I got better though. I picked myself up and found my second chance. I needed him to stay! I needed you to stay!” I step back as a sob erupts from my chest. “Why couldn’t you have stayed?”

That’s the thing though, no one ever stays.

Zach’s arms are around me before I can say another word. I cling to him like he’s my savior. I need him so much right now. I don’t know why. I can’t grasp anything except the pain I feel and the comfort he’s offering. In this moment, he feels safe. He holds me close as I weep.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he tightens his embrace. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Presley. I loved you more than you ever knew.” He doesn’t loosen his hold as he continues. “I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to figure it out.”

He’s keeping me together. I can’t speak or even think. I allow his arms to envelop me. I don’t want him to let go because I fear that I’ll fall apart.

Zach pulls back, gripping my face in his hands. His thumbs wipe the tears that fall. “Your husband, though, he must’ve been desperate. No one would ever leave you unless they had no choice.”

“Don’t,” I plead. “I should’ve never said anything.” In all these months I’ve never said the words aloud. The lie of his death has been my own load to carry, and I’m being crushed by it.

“You’ve been keeping this in all this time?” My lips quiver as I see the pain in his eyes. He may not have known Todd, but he can see the agony I’m in. “Pres, who else knows?”

My body shakes as the reality of what I’ve revealed truly hits. I told the last person I’d ever want to confess my secret to. I start to backpedal. “That’s not what I meant.”

His eyes widen. “What part?”

“Nothing. I’m drunk and didn’t mean what I said.”

Zach steps back and the door flies open. “There you are!” Felicia’s eyes narrow in on Zach’s hands on my wrists. “Baby?” She saunters over. “I was looking for you.”

I tug my arms back and wipe my face. I will not let her see anything.

“Hey,” he says with a tremble in his voice. “Presley was upset. I was checking on her.”

She rolls her eyes and her arms slither around his torso. “She looks fine now.” I hear his sigh as she continues to twist the knife. “Let’s head home.”

The bile churns inside my stomach, and I want to throw up. I hate this girl. “Give me a few more minutes out here,” Zach says, looking back at me as he pushes her arms off him. “I’ll be right in.”

Her arms fall. She’s clearly pissed. But a fragment of my fractured heart just became Zachary Hennington’s. One look, one choice, one moment of time was all it took to reaffirm all the reasons I loved him once upon a time. He dismissed her—for me.

“Zach,” I say as Felicia crosses her arms. “I’m fine.” It’s the furthest thing from the truth, but I don’t want to talk anymore. I don’t want the pity that comes with him knowing my secret.

Grace comes through the door, stumbling a little. “Good Lord! Where the hell have you been?” She clutches her chest.

“Sorry.” I plaster on a fake smile.

Felicia takes this distraction to attach herself to Zach, and he clearly looks uncomfortable.

“I thought you left when you weren’t out front, or I don’t know.”

I head toward her, hoping to calm her down. “Everything is good. We were all just coming inside.”