Crush Page 73
“Anybody need another drink?” I ask as I stand and head over to the table near the window. Eden and Flint both ask for a soda, while Macy requests a sparkling water.
I take my time gathering everything up, mostly because I need a minute before I head back over there.
I get that Flint doesn’t think I’ve connected the dots, and I know his heart is breaking over Jaxon, but there’s a part of me that wishes he hadn’t chosen me to be that person there for him this morning. Jaxon’s my mate. How am I supposed to feel except guilty as hell that he’s hurting and I’m the reason? Especially since they’ve known each other way longer than Jaxon and I have.
I’m the interloper. I’m the one who came along and probably messed everything up in Flint’s mind. But what am I supposed to do? Just give up my mate? I couldn’t even if I wanted to, and I most definitely don’t want to. Which leaves us where? With me breaking one of my closest friends’ hearts just by existing? Or me watching while he breaks that heart on Jaxon over and over again?
It’s awful just to think about, my soul hurting for Flint in a way that makes me ache deep down inside. I just wish there was something, anything I could do to make this better.
“There’s nothing,” Hudson says in a surprisingly serious voice as he walks over and flops down against the wall next to Jaxon’s bedroom, about as far from the group as he can possibly get and still be in the same room. I’d wondered where he went during the game, figured maybe he’d stayed away so I could focus. But now, I stare at the dark circles under his eyes, the fatigue hunching his shoulders, the hollowness in his cheeks, making his cheekbones look even sharper.
My chest is so tight, I can barely breathe. I glance from him to Jaxon, who is laughing at something Mekhi is saying, the picture of health and energy, and then at Hudson, gaunt and exhausted. And I know Jaxon wasn’t the one giving me his energy on the field. It was Hudson.
I’m about to mention it when I see his expression shift. He doesn’t want me to make a big deal about it…so I don’t.
Instead, I forget the drinks and walk over to where Hudson is and sit down next to him. I want to send him some of my energy, but I know he won’t accept it. So instead, I pick up our conversation again.
“But I want to do something…” I search for the right words. “I feel like I should be able to fix this.”
“Flint knows it’s too late, Grace. Now he’s just trying to figure out how to deal with the disappointment. Let him.”
There’s a layer of undercurrent there that I can’t even begin to unpack right now. Lia? I wonder. How weird must it be to know that your mate loved you so much that she died to bring you back? But also, how awful.
“I already told you—she wasn’t my mate.” Hudson’s voice cuts like a switchblade. I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. At least not about Lia. “You’re right, though. Flint probably shouldn’t have brought you into his mess.”
“It’s not a mess. It’s how he feels,” I say, looking around to make sure no one can hear me. They’re all used to watching me talk to empty space and pay me no mind. Still, I keep my voice extra low. “He can’t help how he feels.”
I’m still wondering about all the weird vibes I’m picking up from Hudson about Lia. Not that I’m going to push or anything. One painful relationship confession a day is already more than I can take…
“The two aren’t mutually exclusive, you know,” he says in the super-snooty British accent he gets only when he’s trying to make me feel childish…or trying to piss me off. “Emotions are absurdly messy all the time.”
“Is that why you don’t let yourself have any?” I shoot back. “Because they’re too messy for you?”
There’s another long silence. Then, “Do try to keep up, Grace. I have plenty of emotions. Mostly loathing, at the moment, but a feeling’s a feeling.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re never going to change.”
“Oh, if only that were true.” He quirks a brow. “Better hurry with those drinks. The hoard is getting restless.”
Before I can answer, Flint calls, “Hey, do you need some help?” Or, in other words, Where’s my drink?
“Nope, I’ve got it,” I tell him, grabbing a Dr Pepper for myself before piling all the drinks up and carrying them back over to the coffee table.
“So the assembly to get the bloodstone is tomorrow afternoon,” Macy says once I’m settled back down between her and Jaxon. “Next item is the dragon bone. We should get that before the assembly starts.”
“If we go tomorrow, Gwen won’t be able to join us,” Mekhi says. “I stopped by the infirmary to check on her before we came up here and she’s doing better, but Marise says she is definitely out of commission for a day or two.”
“Poor Gwen,” I commiserate. “Her arm looked awful.”
“It was awful,” Mekhi agrees.
“She’ll hate missing the Boneyard,” Macy says. “But we need to get this done so we can move on to the next item.”
“Wait a minute, go back.” Eden looks at Flint. “Is this why you were asking about the Boneyard?” When he nods, she asks, “What do you need a dragon bone for?”
I think about blowing off her question, but the truth is all eight of us won the bloodstone. If only a few of us claim it for a prize, we’re going to look like real jerks.
Jaxon must feel the same way, because he answers, “We entered the tournament because we need the bloodstone for a really important spell. But we also need a few other things as well—including a dragon bone.”
“A dragon bone,” Eden muses before she turns to Flint with wide eyes. “From the Boneyard? You’re actually taking them to the Boneyard?”
“They have to go,” he tells her. “What am I supposed to do? Just let them wander around down there and hope they don’t die?”
“Wander down where?” Macy squeaks, and now she’s the one with wide eyes. “What kind of place are you taking us to?”
“The magical kind that doesn’t want non-dragons to visit,” Eden answers. “Or even dragons, for that matter.”
“Yeah, well, unfortunately, we don’t have a choice,” Jaxon tells her grimly, and then he fills the whole group in on the details of my situation.
“So,” Xavier says, leaning forward so our gazes are locked. “He’s in there right now?” He taps the side of my head gently.
“Does he think he can shake me out?” Hudson asks dryly. “Or is he just trying to stare longingly into my eyes?”
A little bit of both, maybe? I answer, because seriously. Who does that?
“Yes,” Jaxon says, sliding forward so he can stop Xavier before he gives me a concussion. “He is. And the only way to get him out is with these five objects.”
“But do we really want him out?” Mekhi asks. “I mean, it didn’t go so well for everyone the last time he was free.”
“And it’s not going so well for my mate now that he isn’t,” Jaxon snaps and Mekhi—along with everyone else—kind of sits back a little at his tone. Now that Jaxon’s more approachable, I think people tend to forget he’s still Jaxon, still the dark prince, and I think he must have reminded them.
“He took her body over more than once,” Jaxon continues. “He knows her every thought, has access to our mating bond. So yeah, he has to go. As soon as possible.”
“Yeah, he does,” Xavier agrees, looking a little horrified at Jaxon’s listing. Plus, he’s not pounding on my temple anymore.
“Well, then, I’m in,” Eden says.
“In what?” I ask, a little baffled.
“In for the Boneyard and whatever else you need to do.”
“Yeah, me too,” says Xavier. “Hijacking a girl’s body like that just isn’t cool. What a douche canoe.”
I glance over at Hudson, who’s now got his head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed. I can feel his exhaustion from here. “Everyone’s a critic,” he mutters.
“Count me in, too,” Mekhi says. “You know I’ve always got your back, Jaxon. And yours, too, now, Grace.”
“My dad is going to flip if he finds out we got three more of his students involved,” Macy says. “I talked to him, and he’s agreed to keep the Circle busy and out of our hair tomorrow morning while we sneak down to the Boneyard, but he’s not happy about us going alone. He’s really not going to be happy about us taking all of you.”
“Plus, it’s dangerous,” I tell them. “Really dangerous.”
“Umm, pretty sure I’m the one who just said that,” Eden answers with a shrug. “But you know, sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. And apparently, what your girl needs to do is kick a homicidal maniac out of her head.”
“Cheers to that,” Flint says, raising his soda. “Besides, sometimes—”
“Careful just doesn’t get the job done,” Jaxon joins in with a huge grin.
“Damn straight.” Flint nods with satisfaction at what must be an inside joke between the two, before clapping his hands together. “So, just to be clear, we’re doing this thing tomorrow morning?”
“Damn straight,” Eden agrees, and everyone nods.
“Wait a minute—aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?” I ask. “I mean, we don’t even know where the Boneyard is yet, do we?”
“We do,” Flint says, exchanging a glance with Eden. “I talked to my grandma about it, but I also asked Eden to talk to her grandma the other day when you asked me, and she got the deets.”
“The good news is, we won’t have to travel very far,” Eden says. “The bad news is, Grand-mère says only someone with a death wish would go there. Almost no one makes it out alive.”