“You’re special, Anastasia. Don’t let what he said sink in. I don’t think he meant for everyone to hear—”

“Don’t defend him!”

River nods, his face shuttered. “You’re right. It’s not my place.”

“Yet here you are. You got here before anyone else,” I say.

He opens his mouth, then shuts it as Benji comes back.

The DJ takes the stage and cranks up the music.

“New king and queen crowned—check,” Benji says. “Where did Donovan go? I couldn’t see with that spotlight.”

“He ran straight to Harper,” I say bitterly. “Has she been here, at the house?” My head fires off in a million directions, wondering how deep the betrayal goes. The Kappa house has felt like home to me, and to think he might have been with her here is…

“Yes. Once,” River tells me grudgingly. “On Monday, but that’s the only time I’ve seen her here.”

My hands clench. “I need to get out of here, but I don’t…” I swallow, trying to push down the anger so I can think. “…have my purse. I can’t recall where I put it, maybe the pantry in the kitchen…” I pinch my nose. “My roommates… I’m the designated driver—”

“I’ve got them if you want to leave,” Benji says as he gives Spike a pet.

“I’m going to kill that bastard!” It’s Lila’s voice as she wrestles with a few Kappa pledges who are guarding the door to the stage. “Let me in! She’s my friend!” Thank goodness the music is loud and no one hears her.

Did River put the guards there on his way to the stage?

She gets past the pledge and rushes to me. “Where did he go? I’m going to rip his nuts off. And his nipples!”

“You heard?” I ask.

She bites her lip. “Yeah. I was playing pool. Not gonna lie, it was loud and clear on the PA system, more his side.” She continues, “I can’t find Colette. I’ll get her and we’ll—”

“No,” River says, interrupting her. “I’ve got Anastasia. I’m taking her home.”

Our gazes cling. He’s unreadable, his face like granite, his eyes shuttered. I get the sense of a barely leashed tiger about to pounce.

“I thought you wanted to stay out of this,” I say.

His jaw pops. “I can take you home. You are a little sister.”

Am I? Still?

Lila gives me a surprised arch of her brow then squints at River. “No, football player. I don’t really know you, okay? Sure, you appeared like magic when I was high, and you have a notorious playboy rep that kind of fascinates me, but I’ll take her home, then come back and kill Donovan. Slowly.” She chugs the rest of the drink in her Solo cup then tosses it over her shoulder.

A wan smile crosses my face. She had several shots of Fireball before we left the apartment. Explains the temper—Fireball always makes her want to fight. Okay, any alcohol makes her want to fight. No way is she driving me anywhere. Sure, Colette could take me home, but where the heck is she? I need to go. Now.

“No, stay at the party, please. I-I need to be alone for a minute.” To figure this out in my head. To cry in private. “I’ll need you tomorrow, but right now, just find Mason or let Benji bring you home.”

She mulls that over, reading my expression. “You’re sure you want him to take you home?” she asks, tilting her head at River.

I nod. Yes, we’ve shared plenty of barbs, but he’s being protective, and I… I don’t know. Part of me needs him, and I can’t explain it.

“Okay. Tomorrow, we’ll make a plan,” she tells me as she crosses her arms. “I’ve got some ideas on how to eviscerate the bastard. Leave it to Mama Lila.” She eyes Benji, her eyes flaring at Spike. “Benji, if you’re my DD, that better be a non-threatening animal on your shoulder.”

“He’s a reptile. I guess, technically, he’s an animal?”

She rolls her eyes. “You really are a true blond. Look, if you’re in charge of me, you must not drink. I love to party but also want to live. You must get me home in one piece. If you get frisky, I’ll throat-punch.”

“Oh, I’ll take good care of you,” he drawls, draping his eyes over her. “One thing: there’s a Delta who’s technically my date, but that’s only because she’s writing my paper. If she’s all over me, just let it be, baby. You’re my number one.”

She slaps him on the arm. “You’re awful. I kind of like it, frat boy.”

They continue to banter, and I tune them out and stare at my hands as my head replays the conversation with Donovan. I cringe.

“I know where your head is. You didn’t do anything wrong,” River says quietly.

“Okay, if you’ve got Ana covered, I’m going to start a beer pong contest,” Benji says to River as he takes Lila’s hand. “Come on, baby, let’s see how well you can bounce a ball in a cup.”

Lila breaks away and gives me a hug. “You sure you’re okay?”

No.

“Yeah.” I just need distance from the Kappa house.

After they leave, I glance at River. “I’m sorry this happened at your party—”

His fists clench. “No. I’m sorry he broke up with you like that.”

My eyes narrow. “He’s with her right now. They walked away in front of everyone. They probably went to his room, and—TMI—I haven’t had sex with him in weeks, so he’s probably up there getting laid—”

“Don’t. Let’s get you out of here.” He approaches, settling himself next to me. “Okay, here’s the plan…”

13

The moment she stepped in the basement and found me staring, I knew shit was going to be bad.

Her. Him.

They love each other.

And me?

This triangle (that only I’m aware of) is chewing me up and spitting me out.

Guilt hangs over me.

The secrets I keep.

She’s off limits.

Even if they did just break up.

Yeah, yeah, I know what I just heard, what everyone heard, but he’s trashed, totally blindsided by his parents; he’s going to wake up and freak out. Harper isn’t Anastasia. She’s a blank piece of paper; Anastasia is poetry on the paper.

He chose Harvard over her. A day or a week or a month from now, he’s going to open his eyes and have a breakdown, wondering what the fuck happened when he let her slip away.

The chaos started this afternoon when Donovan stormed out of his room and came into the kitchen. He’d been on the phone with his family for a couple of hours. With a grim face and bleary eyes, he grabbed the tequila and took one shot after another. He hung his head and laid out it out for me, everything his parents said.

He asked for advice…

The pledge comes back with Anastasia’s purse and my letterman jacket from my room (I wondered where that was and took a stab). He hands them to her, and she slips her arms inside and tugs it around her, her nose dipping to the collar as she inhales the smell.

My chest tightens as she turns, and I see the 3 on the back under my last name. I murmur under my breath.