“I’m sorry I disappeared for a while,” he finally said. “I needed some time to figure things out.”

I shifted and turned to face him, though he continued to stare forward and not look at me while I spoke. “Did you?” I asked. “Figure things out, I mean?”

He shrugged. “As much as I can, I guess.”

I nodded.

Hudson stared out at the sunset while tears pooled in his eyes. He swallowed before he spoke. “Jack admitted it.”

My heart ached. I had no idea what we were to each other anymore, but that didn’t stop me from offering compassion. I clasped my hand with his and held it tight. “I’m sorry, Hudson. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I decided not to speak to Lexi about it.”

Wow. I would’ve thought that was the first place he’d go. “Okay…”

“The only thing letting her know would accomplish is giving me the satisfaction of screaming at her. It wouldn’t do me any good, nor Charlie. My head isn’t screwed on straight enough to deal with things. As far as I’m concerned, Lexi is the enemy, and it’s never a good idea to let the enemy know your plans. I need to know exactly where I stand, and if need be, what my rights are, before dealing with her.” Hudson swallowed again. His voice was hoarse when he continued. “Charlie is my daughter. That’s not going to change if…if…” He couldn’t even say the words.

Tears filled my eyes. “You’re absolutely right. And you’re an amazing father—an amazing man for putting Charlie’s feelings first at a time when it would’ve been really easy to be irrational.”

“I did get our DNA tested, though. I swabbed her cheek while she was sleeping and dropped it off at the lab yesterday, along with a sample of my own. I don’t really want to know the results, but I feel like it would be irresponsible not to. God forbid something happens and she needs blood or something.” He paused, and this time he failed at holding back his emotions. His voice broke. “I’ll know in about a week.”

He hadn’t given me any indication that things between us were okay. But that didn’t matter. Hudson was a broken man, and I couldn’t just sit here and watch him fall apart. I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Hudson.”

His shoulders shook as I held him. He made no sound, but I knew he was crying because I felt the wetness on my neck where his face was buried. I thought he might feel better if he got it out—crying is a physical release of pain. But I also knew the type of man Hudson was. He would keep some of it in to torture himself—because deep down, he probably felt like it was partly his fault. He would blame himself for working too much and not giving his wife enough attention, or not bringing home flowers for no reason. It was misplaced guilt, of course, but he was such an honorable man, I was certain he wouldn’t see it that way.

Eventually, Hudson pulled back. He looked straight into my eyes for the first time. “I’m sorry I needed some time apart.”

I shook my head. “There’s no reason to be sorry. I understand. I hid from you for a while there as well. Just please know I never meant to keep any of it from you. I truly didn’t make the connection until that night at your apartment. And then…I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to.”

“I know that now. It was just a lot of coincidences to take in at once. I needed some time to absorb everything, and then to realize none of this was a coincidence at all.”

I pulled back. “What do you mean?”

Hudson pushed a lock of hair from my face. “Why are you here right now?”

“You mean at the library?”

He nodded.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I was on my way home from work on the train, and I looked up and saw this stop. Something just compelled me to get off.”

“You know why I’m here?”

“Why?”

“I was also on the train, but heading uptown to your apartment. I glanced up for a half second, and through the sea of people packed into the subway car during rush hour, I saw you getting off at Bryant Park. My train had stopped on the track directly across from yours. I tried to get off, but we started moving before I could make it. So I got off at the next stop and ran all the way back here.”

My eyes widened. “You just happened to look up and see me getting off a train that I just happened to randomly get off when it wasn’t even my stop?”

“If I wasn’t sure what was going on before, I am now.” He cupped my cheeks and met my gaze. “None of this is a coincidence, sweetheart. It’s the universe conspiring for us to be together. It has been from the very start—before we even met.”

Tears rushed to my eyes all over again. The hollowness I’d felt in my chest over the last week began to fill with hope. I thought about how much we’d both been hurt—Hudson, of course, far worse than me. That damn diary had been at the root of it all, but he was right. It was more than just a series of coincidences. There’d been a higher power working for us all along.

I smiled and leaned in to brush my nose against his. “You know, I think we should probably give in. We don’t stand a chance if the whole world is conspiring.”

“Sweetheart, I didn’t stand a chance from the moment I looked at you.”

CHAPTER 33

Hudson

The last week had been grueling.

Though yesterday morning had been the worst. I was due to get my DNA results at 9AM, but the lab was running late. Stella had stuck around to be with me when I found out, but she’d had a lunch meeting with a vendor she couldn’t miss. Which had turned out to be for the best, because I cried like a damn baby when they finally called around noon and confirmed that my little girl…wasn’t actually mine.

By the time Stella came over in the evening, I was numb—and piss drunk. I’d passed out by nine o’clock, which was probably why I’d been awake since 3AM now, staring up at the ceiling.

How the hell was I going to look into Charlie’s eyes knowing she wasn’t mine? I’d feel like a fucking fraud lying to her. She was only six, but I was always honest with her. I wanted her to trust my word, like I had my father’s. And now that was all ruined. I kept thinking about a conversation we’d had a few months ago. She’d told me she hadn’t broken the handle off of a kitchen cabinet—one I’d often caught her using as a step stool to reach the counter.

Because of the way the screw was bent, I knew she’d been lying to me. So I sat her down and explained that no matter how bad a situation was, lying about it was always worse than whatever you were trying to cover up. That night, she’d come to me with the truth and told me her stomach hurt. I was pretty sure guilt had twisted her little belly into a knot. I was about to have a gaping ulcer from the lie I would be covering up.

About 6AM the sun started to stream in through the bedroom window. A ray of sunlight cut a thin line across Stella’s beautiful face, and I turned on my side to watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful, which gave me some comfort since I knew the last few weeks had been as stressful for her as they had for me. I couldn’t imagine how she’d felt the moment she put the crazy puzzle together. It must’ve been a lot like I felt right now, as if the bottom had dropped out of my world, and I no longer had footing to stand on.