I didn’t wait for her to argue again. I went upstairs to get her some things that would ease her pain and make her more comfortable. I’d take all that expensive shit that Portia had upstairs she’d shipped in from France. Beulah could have as many baths as she wanted.

Beulah

THE SMELL THAT FILLED THE room was heavenly. I knew this was Portia’s bath supplies just like I knew the large white luxurious towel was one from her master bath. I had been sitting on the bed with bare feet when Jasper came back downstairs carrying a basket full of bath items, a pair of soft plush socks, bandages, and ointment. He’d handed it to me and said, “Please use all of this.” That had been it. He didn’t say anything else before he left.

I was worried about Monique and Jerry handling the crowd upstairs, but Jasper had been very clear he didn’t want me going back up there. I didn’t know how he found out about the shoes for sure, but my guess was Monique told him. She was very unhappy about the situation when I explained. It wasn’t Jasper’s fault. I was the one who didn’t buy new shoes that fit.

Slowly, I eased into the water wincing when the warm water covered my feet. I sank down into the bubbles and leaned back against the porcelain. I always took showers. I’d never soaked in a bath here. I had when I lived at home. Mom had a bathtub in her bathroom and every once in a while, I’d go put some shampoo in the running water to make bubbles and enjoy a bath. This reminded me of those times.

Nothing about those baths compared to this. I hadn’t met Jasper then. My mom was still alive and I was safe. I wasn’t alone. Although tonight, for a moment, I hadn’t felt alone. Jasper had cared. He was upset, but he had cared. He didn’t want to see me in pain. I closed my eyes and listened for the music and footsteps upstairs. I felt guilty about not helping Monique. I hoped Jasper got her some help.

I couldn’t hear the music though. It was quiet up here. The footsteps had slowed to almost nothing. I wondered if they had taken the food outside for the last time and started to pack up. The night was still early. I didn’t think they’d stop serving food so soon.

Because of my stubbornness about the shoes, I’d let Jasper down tonight. He’d helped me so much and I had to sit down because of those stupid shoes. Tomorrow I’d buy new ones. I had sent the ones Monique gave me back upstairs with Jasper. He didn’t want me leaving this room tonight or walking around.

Within the hour that I soaked in the bathtub, the entire upstairs had become silent. The water had cooled, so I stepped out of the tub and wrapped myself in the towel that he’d brought me. Every time I washed and folded these towels I had wondered how they must feel to use after a bath. They were the softest, fluffiest towels I’d ever seen. Now I knew how luxurious they were. They were very close to being magical. I ran the tip of my nose over the delicate cotton and inhaled.

This was really nice. I didn’t need to get used to it, but right now I would enjoy it. Putting on my pajamas didn’t seem as appealing as it normally did. So, I sat down on the bed still wrapped in the towel and took a few more minutes indulging because when I took this towel off, I was washing it and never using one of these again. This wasn’t my life. I was a cheap thin towel kind of girl. Towels were to get dry and nothing more. Wanting and desiring this kind of pampering was a waste of my time. But for just a few more seconds, I pretended like it was okay.

The moments ticked by, and I finally stood up and took the towel off. I went over to the suitcase that held my belongings at the foot of the bed and pulled out clean panties and the faded pink pajamas I’d had since Momma had given them to me for Christmas when I was sixteen. Heidi had a matching pair. I had a picture of us in front of the tree wearing these pajamas. Heidi loved it when Momma had given us matching pajamas for Christmas. She did it every few years when she could afford it. Because these were the last we had gotten, I cherished them. Sleeping in them made her feel close to me.

I packed all the bath items back in the basket and put the towel in the washing machine. Then I sat down and bandaged my feet. The ointment soothed them, and the bath had helped immensely.

After that was all taken care of, I looked toward the stairs and thought about going up to check on things. Then I looked at my feet and slipped the socks on. Jasper had asked me not to walk around on them. So I didn’t.

The footsteps on the stairs surprised me and I sat back up from having just laid down.

“You dressed?” Jasper asked.

I hadn’t expected him again.

“Yes,” I replied refusing to be embarrassed by my pajamas. I loved them. I didn’t care if they were worn and faded. I didn’t care what Jasper thought. At least, I didn’t want to care. That counted for something.

He came around the corner carrying a cup of tea and a plate of food. “Thought you might be hungry.”

“Thank you, but you’ve got company. A lot of it. You don’t have to keep leaving them to come check on me.”

“Everyone is gone. I ended the party early and cleared the place out. We have a large portion of leftovers so there is no need for you to cook the next couple of days. The caterer left instructions on how to heat things up.”

Now I felt even worse. “I am so sorry, Jasper. I should have gotten shoes before now. I ruined your party.”

He sat the plate down on the table beside my bed. “I didn’t want to have that party. It was pointless and annoying. I forced myself to have the party. I wanted to convince myself it was what I wanted. It used to be what I wanted. But things have changed.”

He didn’t look happy about that change. “Work? Is it more than you wanted?” I asked.

The corner of his mouth tilted up as he looked at me. “Yeah. It is.”

I nodded my head in understanding. “What would make you happy then if not a party?” I wanted him to be happy. It was odd how that had become important to me. I just didn’t know what to do to make him happy.

“Something I don’t deserve.”

That wasn’t really an answer. I waited, thinking he’d say more but he didn’t.

“Eat that. Get full. Rest. And don’t come upstairs early. Sleep in. You’ll have new tennis shoes when you get up. I’m sending for them in the morning. And some socks. Good thick socks. The kind that feel so damn good you don’t want to take them off.”

I laughed. “Okay. But I have socks. You don’t have to get those.”

“You don’t have these socks. You need them.”

I started to say something else about not needing socks and he cut me off. “Beulah, if you’re about to argue with me don’t bother. Let me buy the socks. I may need to buy the whole damn store out. I need something to make this ache in my chest at the sight of your feet go away.”

My heart squeezed, and then did a little flutter. He was making this worse. My feelings for him were growing. I wanted to tell him he needed to stop this. Stop being so kind. But I couldn’t. “Okay. Thank you.”

He gave me a relieved smile. “Goodnight, Beulah.”

“Goodnight,” I replied.

Then I watched him leave. Long after he was gone and the food was finished, I laid in bed with a smile. Because being in love wasn’t all bad. Sometimes it felt like warm sunshine.

Jasper

“YOU’RE MAKING A MISTAKE.”

Stone was probably right. I just didn’t give a shit. I had fought this all I could. Last night when I’d heard the bartender asked her out, I’d immediately been jealous. Then I saw her feet and it was painful. Seeing her hurt physically pained me.