"This is your mom? It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Marshall."

Paula guffaws. "Oh, I'm not Mrs. Marshall. I never was. Neither was Gabe's momma. Neither of us wanted that bastard's name."

Sasha's mouth falls open. Her lips open and close several times before she finally says, "Oh. You're not Gabe's mom? I'm sorry, I must have heard wrong."

"I'm one of his moms. Technically I'm Zack's mom but I might as well be Gabe's as well. Now you come along and tell me all about how you met my boy."

Paula hooks her arm through Sasha's and she has no choice but to move with her or get yanked off her feet. She looks back at me for help and I just shrug. She's already on board the train to crazy town and there's no getting off now.

She's about to see firsthand just how screwed up my family is.

*   *   *   *   *

When I was in high school, I had something I called the asshole test. Meeting new people always came easily to me but keeping friends was a bit more difficult. But the first time I invited someone to the house was my litmus test for whether we'd be friends or enemies.

It wasn't easy being the kid with two moms before that kind of thing was done. Zack and I always knew our home life wasn't typical. The way Paula tells it, she and my mom were best friends until they found out they were dating the same guy. Then they were enemies until they realized they were both pregnant. They decided to ditch the guy and keep the friendship. They’ve raised us together ever since.

I sit across the table from Sasha and watch as her head volleys back and forth between Paula and Debbie. Ever since Paula dragged her out of the shop, she hasn't said much. I'm not sure whether she's appalled or just in shock from information overload. My family can be a lot to handle even for me on some occasions. Surprisingly, Sasha seems to be handling it really well. When I introduced her to my mom, Debbie, she offered to help her with dinner. The three women seem to have bonded over organic cooking while they were in there.

"Would you like another helping of quinoa, Sasha? It's a new recipe I got from the man at the store. He was so helpful." Debbie holds up the bowl and at Sasha's nod, plops another spoonful on her plate.

"He's probably trying to get a date. They always hit on her when we're grocery shopping. It's like I'm not even there," Paula laments. Sasha giggles and looks over at me.

"Actually he did ask me on a date. We're going out next Friday." Debbie holds up her hand and Paula gives her a high five.

Sasha's fork hangs in midair and I can tell the moment she figures it out. "Oh, you're not … " 

"They're not together," I finish. "Most people make that assumption. They never have been."

Debbie laughs. "I have to give it to you honey, you've handled things better than most of the birdies they bring around. Our situation is unusual and it tends to bring out the worst in people."

"So Gabe's other girlfriends were rude? That's awful." Sasha looks over at me as if it's my fault.

"Gabe doesn't bring girls home. Zack hasn't for a while. But I remember back when they were in high school, there were some kids who teased them a lot. Called us names. I'm sure you can imagine. Then when people would see us out with a man, they decided we were immoral harlots running some kind of prostitution ring out of the house."

"I'm sorry."

Paula shrugs. "West Haven has gotten a lot better but I remember how things were about twenty years ago. This is a small community and some people can be closed-minded. But we weren't going to let them run us off. This is our home. My family has lived in this part of Virginia for ten generations."

"You're actually the first girl Gabe has introduced to us." Zack shovels another bite of mashed potatoes in his mouth and smirks at me.

I'm going to kick him in the shins as soon as I get the chance.

"Really?" Sasha looks over at me in shock. "Well, Gabe has been nice enough to help me out with some business questions."

Paula glances over at me. "Is that right?"

My mom doesn't seem to have picked up on the undercurrents of the conversation yet and I can only hope to get Sasha out of here before she has both of them interrogating her.

"That's right. Sasha is a singer and she's opening up a jazz lounge soon."

My mom pipes up, "You know Paula once dated a bass player in a jazz band."

I let out a breath but when I look up next Paula is still watching me.

*   *   *   *   *

Sasha gives both Debbie and Paula a hug, then waves to Zack. "Thanks for dinner. I had fun."

"We did too, honey. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again."

Sasha doesn't reply to that. I follow her out and we walk silently down the path leading from the house to the driveway. She looks over at me finally, a mischievous look on her face.

"I'm glad I stayed tonight. I thought about making up some excuse and going home but I would have missed out by not getting to meet your family. They're awesome."

"Yeah, they are. I guess you understand now why I said I've never cared what anyone thinks. I learned at a young age that it doesn't matter. All that matters is what I know."

"And you were lucky to learn that so early." She glances behind us at the house. "They are super proud of you. I can see it in the way they look at you. The way they talk about you. My dad has always been proud of me and I'm lucky to have that. But I wish my mom and my sisters didn't think of me as such a screwup."