“Good. That’s good.” Eli ignored Penny’s smile and turned gratefully when he heard someone calling his name. He didn’t even mind when he saw his mother waving him over. He’d rather deal with more of her pointed questions about his love life than think about all the reasons he needed to stay away from Kaylee Wilhelm.

CHAPTER TWO

IT ONLY TOOK Kay a few minutes to drive to the new apartment complex she’d moved into six months ago. It was always a thrill to drive up and realize she lived here. It wasn’t the flashiest or most expensive place, but it was hers.

One of the only things she’d accomplished completely on her own.

The temperature felt like it had dropped another ten degrees in the time it had taken her to drive home. Kay shivered and pulled the zipper of her coat all the way up to the top of her throat. She covered Hope with another baby blanket to keep her warm and out of the wind and hustled into the building, walking up the two flights of stairs as fast as she could. Her fingers struggled to turn the key in the lock, they were so cold.

“What I wouldn’t give for a hot bath right now.” She finally got the door open and then dropped the diaper bag as soon as she made it inside. Hope jumped at the loud sound.

“I’m sorry. Mommy’s not doing such a good job today, huh?”

She uncovered her daughter and tickled her chubby little belly as she unfastened the buckles holding her into the car seat. Once she was free, Hope kicked and squirmed happily. She cooed nonsense words as they walked down the hall to her bedroom. Kay grabbed the bright blue bouncy chair sitting next to her bed and pulled it into the bathroom.

“I need you to be a good girl so I can shower. Hmm? Can you do that for Mama?”

Hope gurgled and gnawed on the end of her fist while watching Kay with her big bright eyes. With her perfectly smooth brown skin and curly pigtails, she looked like a little doll. Kay blew gently on the baby’s face until she let out a belly laugh. Her heart flipped over the way it did every time. The sound of her daughter’s laughter still had the power to stun her. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

After carefully strapping Hope into the bouncy seat and giving her the plastic unicorn to bite on, Kay stripped quickly and stepped into the shower. Experience had taught her that she had about three minutes before Hope got antsy.

She soaped her body quickly and then scrubbed her hands over her face. At the sound of the first soft whimper, Kay stuck her head around the shower curtain and blew a loud kiss. Hope grinned and swung her legs vigorously, bouncing herself up and down in the seat.

After rinsing off, Kay grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her body, shivering slightly as the cool air hit her skin.

“Oh, my sweet baby girl. I remember the days when I could take a bubble bath for an hour and had time to do my hair and makeup. Now I consider it a good day if I remember to brush my teeth and put on matching shoes.”

Kay smiled down at the baby as she corralled her long black hair and twisted it into a low ponytail. Hope smiled back, then grimaced. A few seconds later, Kay knew it was time for a diaper change.

“You just had to wait until after I showered, huh?” She laughed softly as Hope just continued to regard her with a sour look.

Kay changed into a soft, nubby pink sweater and jeans and pulled on thick socks. Then she went back up front to retrieve the diaper bag.

“Okay, let’s get you clean and then you can play with your blocks.” Kay strapped Hope on the changing table in her room and then reached underneath for the wipes and a clean diaper. When her hand hit empty space, she remembered that she’d put the last of everything in the diaper bag. She’d been planning to go to the store before the snow started. But she had enough to last them through the night.

She grabbed the diaper bag and pulled out the box of wipes. Then a change of clothes. A board book. She started pulling things out frantically. Hope’s favorite blankie. A pacifier.

“I couldn’t have left all the diapers at Mom’s house.” She let out a soft groan when she got to the bottom of the diaper bag.

Kay sat on the floor right where she stood and let her head fall forward into her hands. Her heart raced as the stress of the last few weeks finally caught up with her.

She’d never claimed to be a superwoman. Doing it all wasn’t a statement of girl power but of necessity. She could take care of Hope, record another album, and work full time because she hadn’t seen any other choices. Sure, she could have given up on recording and it would make her life a lot easier in the short run. No more late-night sessions or appearances. She could spend more time with her family and actually get some sleep for once.

Even though it would make her life easier right now, she couldn’t do it. It would mean turning her back on an amazing opportunity. It would mean giving up on her dreams. If she didn’t reach for her dreams, what kind of role model would she be for her child? Her own mother had given up on her career as a singer when she got pregnant with Kaylee. She was determined not to make that same mistake.

There were times when her mom looked like she was a million miles away that Kay knew she was thinking about the old days. Her mom thought she was selfish not to give it all up for Hope, but she couldn’t. Did that make her a bad mom?

Maybe Hope is better off with them.

After a long, wretched moment, Kay shook her head. There had been many days she’d wondered what her mother would be like if she’d kept her career. If she’d be kinder. Happier. If she’d have a little more love in her heart for her daughter instead of criticism. Kay was determined that Hope would never have to think about that.