CHAPTER TWENTY

PENNY ARRIVED AT the Alexander-Bennett Co-op after the most tension-filled two hours of her life. She’d spent the entire drive thinking about the last time she’d spoken to Matt. Wondering if she’d ever get to speak to him again.

If she’d ever get to tell him she loved him.

Eli had sent one message letting them know the guys were all okay but still stuck in the building and working with the police to hold off the two suspects. The relief they’d all experienced at hearing that was short-lived when they saw a news report speculating that there were explosives in the building. Penny had no idea what to think after that.

There were so many things they didn’t know. But Eli had promised to send another update as soon as he could.

The time spent waiting for Eli to check in again seemed interminable. Especially since Penny wasn’t sure he would. He was trying to catch killers. Calling them with updates had to be low on the priority list.

But Mrs. Alexander seemed confident that he would call, so she could only assume they had some kind of agreement. Matt had said that Eli had been running his company for almost a decade now, so surely this sort of situation had occurred before. She would have to trust that they’d have news soon. Otherwise she was liable to break down and weep like a baby.

Trent, Mara, Jackson, and Ridley stood across the room with their heads bowed. She could hear the soft murmur of their voices as they prayed. It was soothing even though she couldn’t hear the words. The patriarch of the family stood in the corner, one hand on the mantel of the fireplace. Penny noticed with sadness that one finger was stroking the picture on the end. She could only assume it was a picture of Elliott.

Julia Alexander walked into the living room. She’d excused herself to have privacy while she called some relatives. Julia was a petite woman. Her head only came to Penny’s shoulder. Her age had to be about the same as Penny’s own parents, but her light brown skin was remarkably free of lines.

“Would you like to join the prayer circle, honey?”

Warmth settled over Penny as Julia stood next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. With her soft, soothing voice and gentle smile, Julia instantly made Penny feel like she belonged there with the rest of the family. She could understand why Matt regarded this woman as a surrogate mother.

“I’m not very religious. I probably shouldn’t.”

Julia motioned for Penny to move over. “Why don’t I sit with you? I could use a little company.”

They sat and watched in companionable silence as the others prayed. Surprisingly, Penny found herself calmed just by watching.

“I wish I could believe,” she whispered.

Julia reached over and patted her arm. “Have you ever hoped for something that you weren’t sure would happen?”

“Of course. All the time.”

“Praying is an expression of hope. Even if you aren’t religious, we can all have hope for the things we want. For the people we love.”

Penny bit her lip and the tears she’d been holding back spilled down her cheeks. “It’s not just that I’m not religious. I feel like I made this happen.” At Julia’s surprised look, she explained. “It sounds so stupid, I know it does, but it’s true."

When Julia pulled her down against her shoulder in a soft hug, Penny didn’t resist. She could see Mara and the others watching from across the room and was even more ashamed. It was Mara’s brother who was in danger and even she was keeping it together.

“You didn’t cause this, child. Things happen. Things we have no control over.”

Penny looked up through her tears. “When Matt realized he couldn’t pass the fitness test to reenroll in the Army, I was happy. He was devastated and all I could think about was myself. Isn’t that awful? Now he’s hurt in a civilian job. It’s like fate is trying to teach me a lesson.”

“You think fate is punishing you?”

Mark ambled over and silently set a box of tissues on the side table next to his wife. Julia smiled up at him, then handed one to Penny.

“I told you it sounded stupid.” Penny tried to mop up her face, then blew her nose with an undignified honk.

“It’s not stupid. But it’s also not true.”

“How do you know?” Penny asked softly.

Julia squeezed her shoulder. “Because if being happy that Matt was out of the military brought on the wrath of the universe, we’d all be affected. I was happy, too.”

Penny looked up in surprise.

“You thought you were the only one? I think we were all happy. We love him for serving his country and doing it so well. Matt has the heart of a warrior, but he’s served his time honorably. Now I believe it’s time for him to be at home.”

“I felt so guilty. He was so upset when he realized he wasn’t going to pass. Being in the Special Forces was his dream.”

“I understand, but thoughts don’t make bad things happen,” Julia continued. “Because let me tell you something, honey. If that was the case, there’s some folks who’d be dead as a doornail!”

Shocked, Penny laughed. It felt wrong at first, then it rolled through her. The hysterical giggles finally stopped and she sighed. She was so tired.

“I never told him how I felt. I was worried that we were moving too fast, that if I felt too much too soon, it wouldn’t be real. Do you know how stupid that seems now?”

“I feel like I can speak here because I’ve known Matt since he was a teenager coming home with Jackson. He used to show up with Trent, Nick, and Jackson on the weekends, looking like a lost boy.” She looked over to where Trent and Jackson stood. “I adored my lost boys like they were my own. I used to send them all back to the dorm with cookies and clean clothes. So, I’ve known Matt a long time, and I saw the way that boy looked at you. He loves you. And unless I’m blind, you looked at him the same way.”