“What’s ‘like this’?” she asks with a half laugh.

“Happy.”

Her light expression falls a little. “I haven’t been with Lance today.”

Travis frowns at her, but then he glances at me. I can almost see the conclusion he’s drawing before he nods his head once and grunts. I wish it was the right one, but it’s not. Her mood has nothing to do with me.

“I wish you could get away from him,” he mutters. “If it weren’t for me…”

Tommi whirls around in her seat and puts her hand on Travis’s knee. “Stop it! It has nothing to do with you.”

As convincing as she tries to be, I can see that Travis believes her about as much as I do, which is not at all. But now I know that at least part of her reason for being with Tonin has something to do with her brother. I just have to figure out what that is. And what the other part entails.

Travis angles his body in his seat, drawing his backpack closer and toying with the blue zipper along the top. Obviously, he’s finished with his end of the conversation.

When I drop Tommi and Travis off, I back out and park across the street. My phone bleeps a few minutes later with a message from Barber, telling me there’s a change of plans, to bring her back to Tonin’s at eight. I grit my teeth as I imagine what’s in store for her tonight.

After I reply, I type in a secure code to my phone and send a message to my contact at the precinct, requesting a secure thumb drive that I might be able to sneak into Tommi’s computer if I get a chance and for him to send everything he can find on Tommi and her family in an encrypted file to the server so that I can look at it when I get a chance to log on. Luckily, the department has all sorts of precautions they can take to make sure we are able to communicate without getting caught. Firewalls, bouncing signals, encrypted files, secure networks, all sorts of technical shit that I don’t understand but know how to use. My brother liked to brag about all this covert shit after his first undercover assignment ended, so I was familiar with it a long time ago.

I press send then delete the text message. No one would know what it was anyway, but it just makes sense to get rid of it. Why take unnecessary chances? To anyone who might find it, it looks like I sent a request for nude pictures from one of those sites that send you porn for $2.99 a pop. No criminal would find that suspicious at all, should he somehow finds a way to hack my phone. Men like Tonin aren’t to be underestimated. No doubt he has someone who’s great with computers and technology on staff. He probably knows everything that goes on with his people, whether they know it or not. I’m sure that’s why Tommi is smart enough not to do whatever it is she’s doing on her computer from her house.

Later, I order another pizza and head over to my house to grab a bite before I have to take Tommi back to Tonin. It pisses me off that I can’t stop her. Or help her. I could if she’d let me. Of course, then I’d lose my in with Tonin. Dammit.

I’m in a shitty mood when I park in Tommi’s driveway at seven thirty. I’m in an even shittier mood when I see her come out her front door. Her hair pours down her back in a golden wave and her lips match her wine-colored fingernails. She’s wearing skin tight black leather pants, a slinky silver top that drops off one shoulder and heels that make her even taller. She’s dressed in clothes that he likes, getting ready to spend an evening being his toy, and I have to take her.

I open the door for her, taking her hand to help her into the truck. I don’t say anything and neither does she, until I’m in the driver’s seat. Before I start the truck, I let out an aggravated breath and say to her, “You look amazing.”

Her “thank you” is barely audible. Her mood seems to mirror mine.

“I just wish I was taking you somewhere else. Anywhere else.”

I think she says, “I do, too,” but I can’t be sure. Her voice is too soft, too…somber.

Other than road noise, the only sound on the way across town is the radio. In the parking garage, we sit in the truck, in the quiet, after I cut the motor. I see her reach for the door handle and I take a deep breath, ready to get out and walk her up. But she pauses. After a few seconds, I hear her low voice again.

“Even if it hurts?”

I glance over at her, at the lost, trapped look on her face. God if I could just take her away from this!

But I can’t.

Not yet.

I try to grin, but I’m sure it’s a piss-poor expression. “Especially if it hurts.”

On our way up in the elevator, I think to myself that I never thought the sentiment that I’ve had for so long would ever feel as bitter as it does right now.

It hurts Tommi, but it pisses me off. And makes me sick. And makes me hurt for her.

I watch the lighted floor numbers tick by in the elevator, moving us ever closer to what neither of us wants. It’s with utter helplessness that I roll to my side and pin Tommi against the wall, smashing my mouth to hers, as if I can mark her so deeply, so thoroughly that she won’t feel anything else for the rest of the night.

“Nothing but me,” I tell her breathlessly, my lips still less than an inch from hers. “Feel nothing but me. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you,” comes her broken voice.

I back away just in time for the doors to swing open. I watch Tommi step out, but I don’t follow. She stops in the foyer, a couple of feet from me, unmoving until the elevator doors close and take me back downstairs. And she’s left all alone. All alone with a monster.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE- TOMMI

Another week goes by. I’m with Sig more now. In some unspoken agreement, he drives me where I need to go. And where I have to go, too. He never just drops me off at Lance’s anymore. He walks me up, our eyes lingering as long as we dare let them as we wait for the elevator doors to close. He never stays in the penthouse, though. I wouldn’t want him to either. No matter what happens, I want him separated from it. I want to be able to look him in his beautiful chocolate eyes when I leave, not hide from them in shame.

He’s almost always waiting for me in the truck when I reach the garage. No matter the time of day or how long it’s been since I left him, he’s there. Wordlessly, he helps me into the passenger side, closes the door and walks back around to get behind the wheel. Before we can even pull out in the street, he reaches between us and takes my hand, holding it until he has to let it go.