I met Jack Hines at a horse show. He was there to learn more about the financial side of the racing and breeding industry, him being a business major and all, while I was there to look at the horses and dream of one day owning my own ranch. It just so happened that we lived in the same town, although we’d never met. I’m a few years older than him. Anyway, long story short, after several more chance encounters, we hit it off and decided to partner and make both our dreams come true—his to manage a successful breeding operation, mine to own, breed and maybe even race champion horseflesh. And for a while, it looked like we were both going to get what we wanted.

Within the first two years, we had three horses. You probably remember them. You used to help me with them after school and during the summer. You’d rather have been there at the stables with those horses than anywhere else. I hope your love for them never dies. It’s part of who you are, who you’re going to be. It’s your destiny.

After being involved in a business together for going on three years, Jack and I finally decided to let people other than our families know of our plans, so we hosted a party to join our two worlds, friends and family. And that’s when I met Cherlynn, Jack’s wife.

She was beautiful and charming. She was cultured and sophisticated, all the things that might fascinate a simple man like me. I’d never really valued those things, but they were appealing in a way that…well, she seduced me without even trying. I’ll just put it that way.

Trick, I’ve never loved anyone like I loved your mother. I don’t know what happened inside me that would ever make me betray her the way I did. But it did. It happened. And I broke her heart. I ruined the family I’d always worked so hard to provide for, the family that had always been front and center in my dreams. I also ruined any chance of those dreams coming true by betraying my partner.

Your mother found out by accident. I like to think I would’ve been a big enough man to come clean eventually, but I never got the chance. One day in September, she came to the stables looking for me and found me there with Cherlynn. Life was never the same after that. I’d betrayed her trust, our marriage and our family.

I thought it might blow over, especially if I could stop seeing Cherlynn, but a few weeks later she went to Jack. He took it a lot better than I probably would have if I’d been in his shoes. But I’m sure you can imagine that our partnership was over. And the only way I had to settle up with him financially was to give him the rights to the horses. All of them. Then I had to explain it to your mother, how my mistake had cost us everything else, too. We were destitute and broken, fatally broken, and I couldn’t see my way clear.

After that, the only thing I could think to do was to take out an additional insurance policy, one that didn’t have very many restrictions and take the life that ruined ours. Mine.

I hope one day you can understand that I did it all for you, for my family. I also hope that one day you can forgive me. I’m just a man. And I made a mistake. Unfortunately, it was a colossal mistake, one that I couldn’t find my way out of without hurting you three even more than I already had.

I had this box made to give you when you turned eighteen, the day I had hoped to give you a Ferrier’s set of your own and a part of the company I’d had a hand in creating from the ground up. That will never happen now, but I pray you’ll go on to do great things, that you’ll have your own breeding operation and that you’ll use these tools and remember how much I loved you and your mom and your sister. You really were my whole world. I just lost sight of that for a few irreparable seconds in life.

I love you, son. Please don’t live in the past. Go on and have the kind of future that I wanted for you. And take care of your mom and your sister. There was a time when the four of us were going to turn the racing world on its ear and you’d all want for nothing. I can’t make that happen now, but you can.

Go be a great man, Trick. Be the man I couldn’t be.

With numb fingers, I set the letter aside and peel back the velvet cover. Beneath it is a leather case. I don’t need to open it to know what kinds of things it contains. I’ve used many a Ferrier kit in my lifetime. The fact that my father bought this set for me makes all the difference in the world.

I’m still sitting on the bed, working out what I’ve learned and how I feel when Mom gets home. I hear her open the door. Her footsteps don’t even pause until she’s standing in my doorway.

She looks at me. I look at her. She puts her hands over her mouth and squeezes her eyes shut then her body folds like a house of cards and she drops to her knees.

I have questions. I know now’s not the time to ask them, though, so I go to the woman who has held the job of two parents all these years and I wrap my arms around her.

She cries for I don’t know how long. A long time, it feels like. Then, as if I don’t have enough to think about and worry about and work through, she deals me another bomb. She asks me to make a promise I’m not sure I can keep. Or that I even want to.

She’s sniffling, her breath hitching in her chest as she gulps air. “Patrick, promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” I say, and at the time, I mean it. Until she tells me what it is.

“Stay away from Jack’s daughter. I don’t ever want to see her again.”

And just like that, she jerks the rug out from under me.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE - Cami

Like my last thought before sleep, my first thought upon waking is Trick. He dominates the vast majority of my available brain space these days. And it’s only getting worse with each passing second.

I think of my accidental admission and how much I want to say it for real—sober and intentionally—but how afraid I am that he won’t say it back. Of course, living in fear is never a good decision to make, but this just feels too…scary to rush right in to, no matter how much I might want to.

But that can wait until tomorrow. Or the day after. Today, I just want to spend with Trick and the horses. I want to enjoy every second of the present before I do anything that might ruin what we have. I’m not nearly done with Trick yet.

I’m smiling when I throw back the covers and head for the shower. Today, I’m gonna knock his socks off!

After showering and shaving everything from my ankles to my armpits—twice—I smooth on a thick layer of lotion that makes my skin look like shimmering caramel and set about putting on my most unsuspectingly sexy outfit. Snug, low riding jeans with a ragged hem and a hole in one knee coupled with a white cap-sleeved shirt that ties just below my ribs. My boots are the finishing touch to put me in the right frame of mind to turn Trick’s head. Rather than go with a hat, I dry my dark red locks and pile them on top of my head in a loose style that looks like I just rolled out of bed. And out from under Trick. I grin when I catch my reflection on my way out the door. I hope he likes what he sees.

I dance through the kitchen, kissing Drogheda on the cheek as I pass her. “No breakfast for me yet, Drogheda. I’m on my way to the stable.”

“Dressed like that?” she asks, looking me up and down.

“What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?”

“Nothing. I’m just worried that Sooty will fall off a horse and break something when he sees you.”

I smile. “That’s exactly what I want to hear.”

“That you could cause Sooty to get hurt?” She’s clearly outraged, and rightly so. Even if she’s being ridiculous.

“Yes, Drogheda. That’s my goal in life. Didn’t I tell you?”

She swats at me with her dish towel. “Make fun of an old woman, Smart Mouth, and she might surprise you.”

“Oh, you know I’m teasing. Of course I don’t want anyone to get hurt. But Sooty’s not the one I’m thinking of.”

I wink at Drogheda and she narrows her eyes on me. “Is this still about the new boy?”

“You can’t tell Daddy. Promise me.”

She rolls her eyes. “You know I hate it when you ask me to do that.”

“It’s important. Daddy’s being crazy and if Trick loses his job, his family will be in a lot of trouble.”

Drogheda has a soft spot for stories like that, not having come from a wealthy family herself. She worked the first many years of her life to support her younger sisters until they were married and well cared for. By then, according to Drogheda, she was a spinster, so she decided to make her life keeping other people’s families. And thank God she did. She’s been like a mother to me for a long time.

“Is that his name? You didn’t tell me before.”

I nod.

“What kind of name is Trick?” she asks, a sour look on her face.

“It’s a nickname. It’s short for Patrick.”

Her eyes light up. “Patrick is a good, strong name. I like him already. Do you love him?”

“Drogheda! I’ve only known him—”

“I didn’t ask how long you’ve known him. I asked if you love him. I say yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes even if you can’t.”

There’s no fooling Drogheda. I melt onto a bar stool across from her. “I do. I really do.”

“Does he know?”

“I think he might. I may have accidentally said something to him over the weekend.”

“I thought you were with Jenna.”

“I was. But we weren’t alone.”

“Lying to your papi won’t do you any favors, mi Camille.”

“I know, but he’s just so hard-headed when it comes to Trick. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“Maybe you should ask him. He’s a smart man, chica. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s your father and he loves you. He only wants what’s best for you.”

“Even if it’s Brent?”

She screws up her face and I know her answer before she gives it. “Well, let’s just hope that’s not his only choice.”

“Promise me you won’t tell him, Drogheda. Please!”

“I promise. But you need to do the right thing by the people you love, Cami. All the people you love.”

I sigh. “I know. And I will. I’m just waiting for the right time.”

We both turn our heads when a light knock sounds at the door behind us. My heart jumps up into my throat when I see Trick standing there with the tips of his fingers stuffed into his pockets. I smile brightly, even as I’m praying he didn’t hear any of our conversation.

I walk to the door and open it. “Good morning.”

He clears his throat and smiles tightly. “Mornin’. Can I, uh, can I talk to you?”

His eyes are darting everywhere, like he doesn’t want to look directly at me. My stomach drops into my boots and I fight back the urge to run to the bathroom and hurl.

“Of course.” I turn back and smile at Drogheda. I know it faltered when I see her face is lined with concern. “Don’t worry about breakfast, Drogheda.”

She nods, but says nothing. I can feel empathy pouring off her like water off a cliff. I know without having to ask that she feels as apprehensive as I do. Trick wouldn’t be here, visiting me at the main house where there’s a possibility of being discovered, if it wasn’t important. And bad.

I follow Trick onto the patio out back. He walks to the railing and stops, turning to face me. He looks down at the toes of his boots, making me more and more nervous.

“All right, spit it out. Whatever it is. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

That draws his eyes upward. And they’re filled with a thousand things, not one of them good.

“I don’t really know how to say this.”

“Just say it.”

Why am I encouraging him?

But I know the answer to that. Because the suspense, dragging it out, feels like it’s killing me.

“I found out some…things when I got back last night, things that have to do with my father.”

Like a death row inmate might feel when the red phone rings, I feel a temporary reprieve.

“Oh. Okay. Tell me.”

“The thing is,” he begins then pauses to run his fingers through his hair. My nerves are back again.

“What is it, Trick? You’re starting to scare me.”

And he is. I feel like there’s something much worse than getting dumped on the horizon. But what could that possibly be?

He looks up and his eyes meet mine. In them is an overwhelming sadness that makes my chest feel tight.

“My father left me something, something that my mother apparently had decided not to give me. Until she met you.”

Now, I’m just confused. “Me?”

He nods. “He left me a Ferrier’s kit he’d bought me years ago, along with a letter.”

I wait for him to continue, to tell me what’s in the letter. When he doesn’t, I prompt him. It’s that or reach out and choke him. “And?”

“I never really knew why my father killed himself. Until now.”

“Did he tell you in the letter? Or did your mother tell you?”

“He explained it in the letter. I think I told you when he first started out in this business, he had a partner. Someone he trusted and had a pretty close relationship with. Until he started seeing the guy’s wife.”

The gasp slips from my lips before I can raise my fingers to stop it. “He cheated on your mother?”

He nods again.

“I don’t mean to be callous, but stuff like that happens all the time. Why would he kill himself over that? I mean, it’s terrible, but…”

“That’s not the worst part.” He pauses to consider. “Well, maybe it is, but it’s not the only bad part.”