Excellent. Just what I need.

“You were just telling yourself to shut up.” The good news is there’s an amused expression forming on his face. Not one of disgust. “What were you doing? Having a conversation with yourself?” He’s reached across the table and nabbed my pickle; gnawing on the end of it, chewing slowly as he watches me.

“Yes, if you must know, I was having a conversation with myself.”

Rex doesn’t say anything, just nods. Pops the remainder of the pickle in his mouth.

“Hey—you said I shouldn’t eat anything stinky on a date!” I accuse, narrowing my eyes as he wipes the tips of his pickley fingers on a napkin.

He shrugs. “You said this wasn’t a date.”

Shit. He’s right, I did say that. Several times, as a matter of fact. Because I’m a judgy asshole who thought she wanted someone big and strong and burly—not someone who looks like a twenty-year-old accountant, who plans to go boating on the weekend.

But Rex has been so sweet. Polite. Funny. And that ridiculous smile, with those big, pearly teeth is sure growing on me pretty damn quickly.

“I know what I said, you don’t have to keep reminding me.” I snap a little sharply and cringe at my tone. God, I’m such a head case, I can’t believe he’s sitting here grinning at me like a fool.

He must be a glutton for punishment.

“Will you excuse me?” I start sliding out of the booth, dragging my purse along with me. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

I have to get ahold of Skylar. She’ll tell me what to do—I know Rex is supposed to be teaching me how to behave, but since this concerns him, I doubt he’d be much help. I need a girl for this problem.

“You’re not planning to crawl out the bathroom window, are you?” he jokes, adjusting his dinner plate in front of him.

“No—I’ll be back. Promise.” I stand, righting the hem of my shirt before scuttling off. I stop, spin on my heel and point in his direction. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” he teases with a laugh. “You’d hunt me down and give me a piece of your mind.”

Tempted to say something sarcastic, I clamp down on my jaw, closing my lips. Smile prettily and clutch my purse. Hum in my chest and say, “Very cute. Give me a few, okay?”

“Yup.” He’s already got his face stuffed with hamburger and is well on his way to ignoring me for the food in front of him.

I locate the bathroom; it’s on the opposite side of the room and I will my feet to move there easily—not this wobbly kneed bullshit that’s happening right now for some ungodly reason.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I press a hand to my forehead checking for a fever.

Nothing.

With a hand pressed to my stomach, I shove the bathroom door open and find an empty stall. Pushing through, I hang my purse on the back of the door, fishing my phone out and compose a text to Skylar hoping she’s not too busy to respond.

Me: You there?

Skylar: an entire one minute later: Yup, what’s up?

Me: I’m out with Rex Gunderson and I’m confused.

Skylar: Who???

Me: I don’t have time to explain, but it’s not a date. I mean, we matched on LoveU, but he really isn’t my type. Plus, he basically told me I wasn’t ladylike enough for him and that I needed lessons on how to date.

I’m frantically typing, heart rate pounding.

Skylar: WHAT?? When did this all happen? I’m SO CONFUSED.

Me: This week, but that’s not my point. MY POINT IS, I’m here with him at Mad Dog Jacks and now he’s not as dorky as I thought he was?

Skylar: Wow. You’re too kind to people.

Me: Would you knock it off, this is serious.

Skylar: Wait. Are you sitting there with him NOW??

Me: No, I’m in the bathroom, freaking out. Like, I can’t stay in here all night, I need help.

Skylar: Help with what?

Me: Do I say something to him? Or go out there and act like normal?

Skylar: Normal? Don’t make me laugh.

Me: Stop being a shithead, you know what I mean.

Skylar: I still don’t understand the problem?

Me: OMG Skylar, I ordered onions and pickles on my burger, then said the word fart, I’m pretty sure I insulted him a few times—pretty sure he isn’t interested.

Skylar: And all you’ve done so far is made an ass of yourself?

Me: Yes?

Skylar: So, typical Hannah?

Me: Yes?

Skylar: And he’s still out there? Like he hasn’t walked out?

Me: I’m assuming he’ll be there when I go back to the table; he was stuffing his face when I walked away.

Skylar: That’s a good sign, yeah?

Me: I don’t know; he’s a guy, they like to eat.

Skylar: So what is it about him you didn’t like in the first place?

Me: He’s skinny.

Skylar: Um… okay?

Me: I just never thought I’d want to have sex with a guy who wears a smaller size jean than I do.

Skylar: I don’t know how to reply to that. What else didn’t you like about him?

Me: I mean—his reputation wasn’t the greatest. He was the manager for the wrestling team—Abe probably knows of him—then he made a bet with another teammate about the coach’s daughter and got suspended.

Skylar: Oh, shit!

Me: Yeah. But he’s her best friend now? I think he said he was her baby’s godfather? He calls himself Funcle Rex?

Skylar: What the hell is a Funcle?

Me: A Fun Uncle.

Skylar: That’s hilarious **laughing emoji**

Me: I mean, it’s kind of cute.

Skylar: OMG knock it off. Also what are you still doing in the bathroom.

Me: Peeing.

Skylar: We’ve been texting for over eight minutes. He’s going to think you climbed out the window.

Me: Probably. Maybe I should, I was thinking out loud and told him to shut up.

Skylar: WHAT???