She didn’t want to talk about Ben, she didn’t want to talk about what had happened . . . she just didn’t want to talk. She was the Grey she had been after Ben died, but this time she was shutting me out too. So for the few moments I still had her, I wasn’t wasting a single second. I wanted to have memories of the girl I’d waited for once that girl was completely gone.

“I have to go back soon,” she mumbled.

I sat up and looked over at the shore. “What time do you have to work today?”

“Four. So, probably an hour or so.”

“All right.” I grabbed her upper arms and pulled her toward me. “Get behind me and we’ll head in.”

“I said soon,” she said softly when she was sitting again, and I looked up at her heated stare as she gripped my waist and adjusted herself on my lap.

Releasing one of her arms, I slowly traced the line of her bikini top down to the swell of her breast, and raised one eyebrow when she sucked in a sharp breath. “And what do you want to do until soon is here?”

Before she could respond, the roar of an engine and the sounds of yelling filled the otherwise quiet spot on the lake, and I dropped my hand to look at the quickly approaching boat.

“Yeah! Get some!” one of the guys yelled as they passed us, and I kept my stare on them until they were too far away to see clearly, because I knew exactly what I would find in front of me. Anytime we were physically close and something interrupted us, she would look at the position we were in in a whole new light, and go back to being the Grey who was stuck in the past.

Finally, looking back at Grey, I gave her a tight-lipped smile and reached behind me for her life jacket as she sat there staring at my chest and gripping her necklace.

“Put this on, sweetheart, I’ll take you in.”

Grey barely said anything more than a mumble as we went in and I returned the Jet Ski, and I don’t think she even realized I wasn’t walking with her toward her car until she started to get in. She looked back to where we’d been, then looked over to where I was standing next to my car.

“I’ll see you later.” She said the words almost like a question, and I just nodded. Without another word, she got into her car and drove away.

I got into my car and dropped my head back against the headrest as I replayed the good parts of the day. But it was hard to remember anything when three words kept going through my mind like a broken record.

I’m losing her.

Grey

August 10, 2014

“PUT ME DOWN, put me down, put me down!” I screeched as Jagger ran into the warehouse with me thrown over his shoulder a few days later. Before I could slap my hand against his back again, his hands were on my waist and he was bending over to throw me onto the couch.

“There. You’re down.” He smiled wickedly at me and stole a kiss, then stood up, but I grabbed his hand and yanked him back toward me.

“That was terrifying,” I murmured against his next kiss.

“I only almost dropped you once.”

“Exactly! You almost dropped me! I saw my life flash before my eyes.”

He smiled widely and pinched my side. “You’re being dramatic. I’m gonna go jump in the shower and change. Do you want to do the same when I’m done, or are you gonna head home?”

“I’ll jump in when you’re done.” I placed my hands on his bare stomach, and pushed him away. “Go shower, you smell like lake water.”

“And what do you think you’re making my couch smell like?” he countered as he walked backward toward the stairs.

“Cupcakes and rainbows?”

He stopped and gave me a look. “There is something in that water that makes you high, woman.”

I laughed and pointed up to the loft. “Go shower so I can too!”

As soon as I heard the water turn on, I got off the couch and went to find my purse where I’d dropped it near the door. Putting it on the bar top in the kitchen, I searched for my phone and texted my mom to let her know I was staying at Jagger’s for a while. I’d barely gotten the TV on when she responded, asking if we had protection.

I groaned and flipped through the channels until I found a movie, and had only been watching it for a couple minutes when Jagger came back down the stairs.

His skin was tan from spending so much time at the lake this summer, and it made the contrast of his black hair and green eyes just that much greater. I was still whiter than white, and praying I hadn’t burned anywhere. I blamed my dad’s Irish heritage.

“I left some clothes on the bed for you to change into,” Jagger said as he flopped down on the couch next to my feet.

“So now I’m going to smell like you?” I teased, and nudged his side with my toes.

He grabbed my foot and immediately started massaging it with his large hands. “Better than smelling like the lake.”

“Don’t lie,” I moaned through the foot rub. “You love that I smell like . . . fish.”

Jagger barked out a laugh and tossed my feet away from him. “That is not what you smell like, but now all I can think about is you smelling like fish. Go shower.”

“No. Foot rub!” I whined, and tried to put my feet back on his lap. He just continued laughing and pushing them away. “Please?”

Grabbing one of my hands, he pulled me up and pressed a soft kiss against my cheek before pushing me toward the edge of the couch. “When you come back.”

I sent him a pathetic look as I slowly stood up, and he leaned forward to grab me and pull me back down.