She leans back, satisfied. “I’ll take that enthusiastic response as a yes.”

“Fine. Yes. He made me come, but it wasn’t at the overlook.”

“Did you let him bang you?”

“Hannah!”

“You know what, Skylar?” She throws down her blanket in an indignant huff. “If you didn’t freak out every time I asked you a personal question, it wouldn’t be this much fun. Did you or did you NOT let the kid bang you last night? Just answer the damn question and stop acting like a prude!”

“Yes, I let him bang me!” I pause, putting a cocky grin on my face. “Or did I bang him—that’s the real question.”

“Skylar!” Now she’s the one yelling. “Stop it you did not! Were you on top? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yes.” I laugh. “I read somewhere you increase your chances of having an orgasm being on top, and I finally wanted to have one…or five…so I made him be on the bottom.”

“I bet he was fighting you off with a stick. Does he have a big…you know. Wiener?”

I shoot her a peeved glance. “That’s private.”

“Come on! I’d tell you.”

Yeah, she would tell me, whether I asked to know or not, and she describes it in great detail. “Not my problem.”

“It is your problem because you’re stuck with me, and you know I won’t shut up until you tell me.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

She ignores my sarcasm and dives into the specifics. “So he doesn’t have a big wiener. Is it tiny? Like this big?” She holds her fingers apart a few inches.

I roll my eyes. We are not having this conversation.

“So it’s small? Yikes.” She’s giving me shit—I know this. But her persistence is making me stabby. “You poor thing, banging a teeny weenie.”

“Shut up. It’s not that small.”

“So you admit that it’s smallish.”

I am not walking into her trap, I am not walking into her trap.

“I didn’t say it was small. Stop saying that.”

Okay, I’m kind of walking into her trap. It’s a pretty trap, with bows and bells and glitter.

“How big is it? Just point to an object in the room that it resembles.” Hannah holds up the TV remote. “This big?”

Oh my god. “No.” I swat at her. “Get that thing out of my face.”

She grabs a water bottle off the coffee table. “This big?”

“Gross.”

“Did he put it in your face?”

Yeah, he did—and I loved it.

“You dirty little hooker.” My best friend giggles like a moron. Like a twelve-year-old boy who just saw a boob for the first time in his life. “Was it in your mouth?”

Because I don’t know how to respond, I laugh.

“Holy shit. You gave him a blowie.”

“I didn’t blow him.” I can’t stop rolling my eyes at Hannah. “But you don’t have to make it sound like I’ve never given a blowjob before.” I sound cocky—like I know what I’m doing. Which I don’t, and she knows it.

“That one time doesn’t count—you were both drunk, and he came in under two minutes. It was the easiest blowjob known to man. Those take no skill. You just put the dick in the mouth, blow, and boom—come all over you.”

True.

“Your jaw didn’t even hurt the next day,” she kindly reminds me, smirking. “That’s not a blowjob.”

I reach for my chin, my thumb and forefinger bracing my jawline as I shift my mouth back and forth, grinding my teeth.

“So you had sex last night. This is outstanding. I’m so proud of you, roomie.”

Whatever.

“Okay, back to his dick.” Hannah is persistent, I’ll give her that, and a master at bringing conversations full circle. She leans back on the couch, hugging her knees. “Would you say it fit inside your boner garage, or did it have plenty of room for another car? You know—room for two?”

“There definitely wasn’t room for two.”

“Nice. And you didn’t back the car onto the garage, did you?” Her brows go up and down salaciously.

“Are you talking about anal? Or doing it doggy style?”

“Either one. I’ll take what I can get.”

My mouth drops open. “Why are you like this?”

“Humor me—I haven’t been on a date in weeks. It’s dry as the Sahara in my desert down south.”

“Somehow I doubt that. You masturbate daily.”

I hear her—and her vibrator—almost every morning and every night. Sometimes during the day if we’re both home at the same time between classes.

“It’s not the same thing and you damn well know it. A vibrator cannot replace actual cock and balls.” She stretches out on the couch, impinging on my space and laying her legs over my lap. “Actually, I can live without seeing a guy’s balls. They’re so ugly.” Hannah shudders melodramatically. “Worst part of the dick pic.”

I wouldn’t know.

“But,” she goes on with authority, “I can’t live without the D, and that’s what they’re attached to. Unfortunately.”

“A guy can have sex without his testicles, Hannah—haven’t you taken biology?”

“Can we stop talking about balls? Gross. Stop.”

“Oh, that’s the topic that makes you uncomfortable? Balls?” She is unbelievable.

“Yes. Let’s move on—tell me more about the sex with the hot wrestler.”

“You think Abe is hot?”

“Uh, yeah—duh. I can’t believe he’s still on the market with those eyes and those shoulders. Rawr.” She sees the blank expression on my face and stops. “Sorry.”

“Know what you should do, Hannah?”

“No, but I bet you’re going to tell me.”

“Take some of your own advice. Download the stupid LoveU app and find someone to…” I search for a metaphor. “Fill your tank.”

Her lip curls. “Seriously, Skylar? My tank? There’s a visual I could have done without.”

Pfft. “This is a conversation I could have done without, but you left me no choice.”

“Oh god, you knew damn well I was going to pounce on you the minute you walked through the door, so don’t act surprised. You’re my best friend—it’s my job.” Hannah spreads her arms wide. “I don’t see Jessica or Bethany lining up to hear the gritty details.”I push her legs off me and stand. “Thank God for that. They can’t keep secrets.”

“Don’t you walk away from me, young lady! We’re not done here. Come fill my tank! With stories! Come fill my love tank with stories. Pleeeeeeease…”

I laugh all the way to the kitchen, setting my bowl on the counter next to the sink. “Keep it down in there. You want Nathan and Misty to call the office on us?” Again. “One of these days, your loud screeching is going to get us evicted.”

“We can live with JB and Abe—that dude has the hots for me so bad.”