I still just didn’t understand how Brett could smash out all those windows in broad daylight in a crowded parking lot, and no one saw him. But, as the officers had told me the night before and then reminded me again while I was at the station, it happened a lot more often than people realized.

After picking up breakfast for everyone, I went back to Kristen and Jason’s, determined to make Paisley have a good weekend. I’d told her about my dad and Rachel earlier this week, and then with this, I didn’t want her focusing on all the bad shit. And if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to keep focusing on all the bad shit. I knew with the first, their worries were now gone . . . but I didn’t want last night to put a strain on us. I would make sure Paisley was safe, but I didn’t want her worried about Brett doing something else. I didn’t want her to keep wondering what bad could’ve happened later on down the road if she’d chosen him.

So as soon as I saw her, I dropped the breakfast on the table and pulled her into my arms as I walked her back to the guest room, my mouth never once leaving hers. This time, I didn’t touch her. This time, it wasn’t about anything sexual. This time was about telling her words I couldn’t figure out how to form into sentences, with a kiss. This time was about showing her what she did to me and what she meant to me as I rested my body weight on top of hers on the bed. This time was about breathing the words “I love you” over and over as I trailed kisses across her neck to tease the sensitive spot behind her ear.

When I finally let us leave the bed to eat breakfast, Kristen and Jason both gave us looks like they’d known exactly what we’d been doing . . . but they had no idea.

I’d wanted to show Paisley what it felt like to have different experiences sexually since she’d never been given that attention before. I’d wanted to worship her body for these two weeks before I had sex with her. But I’d had no idea what just kissing her could do to us.

The passion that had filled the tiny room had followed us throughout the rest of the day. Touches were softer and lingered, looks lasted longer, and her smiles all hinted at a secret between us that no one would ever figure out.

And with every touch, with every look, and with every smile . . . I fell more in love with her.

September 28, 2013

Paisley

ELI AND I had started grossing out Kristen and Jason this afternoon with our “love fest,” enough to the point where Eli had finally taken me out of their house. Even though he hadn’t told me why he hadn’t wanted to leave, I’d known. I knew he was trying to keep me somewhere where he thought Brett wouldn’t find us, and that theory was proven once we’d left. After swinging by my apartment and telling me to pack a bag, he’d spent the day driving us up and down the beaches in Southern California, and going to all my favorite places along the way. We didn’t get back to his apartment until close to 10 P.M., and while I’d been excited to get back since it had been such a long day, I was now wishing I was anywhere but here. Well, anywhere as long as I wasn’t alone with Eli. Because Eli was now hovering over me and stealing my breath with teasing kisses and bites down my throat, and I just remembered that I desperately needed to avoid anything sexual with him.

“Did you have a good day?” I asked breathlessly, in hopes to get us talking instead of going in the direction we were already headed.

“I’d rather know if you did,” he said against the spot behind my collarbone, then placed a deceptively soft kiss there.

“Of course I did. Thank you for everything. I loved everywhere we stopped, and—”

Eli cut off my rambling with a searing kiss that had my blood heating and my freaked-out mind clearing. The fingers that had been trailing up my arm began sliding down my body, caressing the swell of my breasts, and continuing their journey to my shorts.

No, no. No, no, no, no, no. I need to stop this. Now. Right now. Oh my God. This can’t happen.

“Um!” I said loudly, and struggled to think of something. “How about we watch a movie?”

Eli laughed huskily. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Why not now? Don’t you want to? Actually, I’m kind of tired,” I lied, and swatted at the hand that was unzipping my shorts.

He abruptly stopped trying to undress me, and once again lifted his head to look at me. “Do you not want me to touch you?”

I would have shouted that I didn’t if he hadn’t looked absolutely terrified in that moment. I didn’t have to ask what he’d meant by that question, it was all over his face and in the tone of his voice. He thought seeing Brett last night—or his actions—had put a wall between us. “Of course I do! Just . . . maybe not tonight. Or tomorrow,” I added a few seconds after.

“Pay,” he whispered in the same worried and hurt tone. “I will never touch you if ask me not to and mean it, but I need you to tell me what’s happening right now.”

“I’m just tired,” I repeated, and immediately regretted the lie when Eli’s face went completely blank.

“You’re a bad liar, Paisley Morro, always have been.” He moved so he was sitting up and looking down at me. “What’s really happening in that mind of yours? Is it . . . Are you—”

“No, Eli, no! I’m— God, I’m sorry. Please stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking; it has nothing to do with Brett.” I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” Eli echoed, his voice laced with confusion. A sharp laugh suddenly burst from his chest. “Are you . . . Is it that time of month for you, Pay?”

I dropped my hands and glared at him. “No, Eli, it’s not. I just—” I cut off and groaned again. I knew my cheeks must have been bright red. “I tried to do something for you and it went so so wrong.”

“Okay, now I’m really confused. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

“This is so embarrassing! And you’re going to laugh at me, and I just can’t.”

Eli lay back down beside me and brushed his fingers across my cheekbone. “If I promise not to laugh, will you tell me?”

I watched him for a few moments as I contemplated the outcome of this, and finally gave in with a sigh. “I thought it would have gone away by now.” I bit down on my bottom lip and scrunched up my face. “I went and got waxed on Wednesday night, and I had a really bad reaction to it,” I said in a rush and covered my face again so I wouldn’t have to look at his anymore.

A hard laugh burst from Eli’s chest after a few seconds of deafening silence. I felt the bed shift as he pushed himself up again and grabbed for my shorts. “I have to see this.”

“No!” My hands flew to my shorts to keep them on my body. I’d thought I was mortified just telling him what was wrong; this was taking it to a whole new level.

“Pay, I need to see this, baby.”

“You really don’t.”

“I’m pretty sure I do,” he argued.

As much as I tried to keep him from taking off my shorts, Eli was stronger. And soon I was lying there with my hands over my face for the third time in just a handful of minutes. Eli was shaking the bed from how hard he was laughing. He dropped his forehead against my stomach and placed a few soft kisses there, and lightly brushed a finger across my overly sensitive vaj.