“I’ll do it now, before dessert is served.” He leans in and drops a surprise kiss on my cheek before he stands and heads for the other side of the room, stopping in front of the wall of windows that overlook the city.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so nice?” Rose whisper hisses.

I shrug. “You told me to keep up the pretense. That’s what I’m doing.”

“You called him honey.” Rose makes a gagging motion with her finger toward her mouth.

A little giggle escapes me and I realize I’m buzzed. Good. I need the alcohol to help me forget. I’ve been depending on it too much lately, but I don’t even care. “So? I want him to make an ass of himself. It’ll be fun to watch.”

“I guess,” Rose mutters. “More like torture for us forced to listen to him.”

Zachary starts speaking and I straighten my shoulders, assuming the perfect supportive position. Rose keeps poking at my side, like the annoying little sister she used to be, and I hardly move save to jab my elbow in her direction every time she tries to touch me.

“I want to thank everyone who came to celebrate with me during my last night here in New York,” Zachary starts, a perfect smile on his perfect face. He’s a little drunk, too, talking as if he’s really got this job in London when he doesn’t.

But that’s okay. We can let him pretend.

He goes on and on, reminiscing over when he first started working at Fleur, the guidance Father gave him. He seems to acknowledge every single person in the room who is listening to him with rapt attention, who laugh and cheer along with him, and I wonder how he can still charm everyone else but not me.

Not Rose, either, who keeps making these rude snoring sounds. I send her dirty looks and she shuts up, but within minutes she’s doing them again. Not that I can blame her. This is the Zachary show and we’re all here just to watch and indulge him.

This night, everything about it, feels surreal. I’m me but I’m not. My body is here but my mind wanders. I think of Ryder. I don’t want to, but I do. I can’t help it. What is he doing? Where is he? Will he avoid me forever? Do I want to see him? Can I ever forgive him for what he did?

I want to. It hurts too much, being away from him. It might have started out as a trick, but our relationship turned into something so much more …

“And finally, I want to thank Violet, who changed my life in so many ways, all for the better. I’m a lucky man to know her, to have her in my life.” He pauses and sends me a loving smile. “Come up here, Violet, please? Join me.”

I stiffen at Zachary’s words, at all the sincerity I hear in his voice. At his request for me to stand by him and fake being happy for him.

I can’t do it.

Rose quits jabbing me and instead rests a reassuring hand on my arm. Father is looking at me oddly, as if he’s questioning whether I should go up there at all. And all I can do is stare at the open doorway. At who I see standing there.

Ryder.

With Pilar standing next to him.

My heart cracks in two. He brought her. I could kill him. Or hug him. I don’t know which one would come first.

I stand, Rose’s hand falling away from me, Father’s gaze tracking my every move. With a forced smile I make my way through the tables, nodding at those I know, praying my nerves won’t betray me. Zachary greets me with a smile as I approach him, taking my hand and pulling me to his side. He kisses my cheek, then turns to everyone watching us.

“I plan on making this woman my wife someday,” he says assuredly, and I don’t protest. Just smile as everyone claps, with the exception of my sister and father.

Oh—and Ryder and Pilar.

I can’t believe he brought her. I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up.

I hate him.

I miss him.

I can hardly stand to look at him.

But my gaze goes straight to him. I see the hatred he has for Zachary in his gaze, the sneer on his gorgeous face. A face that haunts my dreams, that makes me want to weep and smile all at once.

“Finally!” someone shouts at us, making Zachary laugh and tug me closer. I play along. All while my gaze stays on Ryder’s. He doesn’t look away either and I can feel his anger, though the chemistry between us is still there, too.

He hates me.

He misses me.

He wants me.

I know it.

Pulling myself out of Zachary’s hold, I make my way back through the room, heading straight toward Ryder and Pilar. She leaves, going where I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I want is to see Ryder. Tell him I hate him.

Tell him I miss him.

The wait staff enters the room, bringing with them our dessert on large trays. Beautiful slices of chocolate cake sit on the little white china plates, but I’m not interested. I’m the farthest thing from hungry.

“Hello.” I stop just in front of him. His scent reaches me. Deliciously male and all Ryder. His hair is a catastrophe. He needs a haircut in the worst way. There’s stubble on his cheeks and jaw and there are dark circles under his eyes. He looks terrible.

He looks amazing.

And as usual, he doesn’t say a word. Merely dips his head toward me in greeting.

I clench my hands into fists, wishing I’d brought Rose’s shoe with me so I could stab him with it. Talk about shocking. That would be quite the way to end Zachary’s going-away party, wouldn’t it?

“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him. He needs to know he’s not welcome. The moment Zachary spots him, all hell could break loose. “Zachary doesn’t want you at his party.”