She’s watching me. I can feel her eyes on me though I face straight ahead. “It’ll only be for a few hours. I get the sense Jen doesn’t have many friends. I don’t either. It’s nice to find one who doesn’t think I’m out to f**k her boyfriend behind her back.”

I have to look at her now, shocked at the harsh way she just spoke. “Did you used to do that? Fuck other girls’ boyfriends behind their backs?”

She shoots me an icy stare. “No.” A sigh escapes her. “Fine. I made one mistake. Only because he lied to me and said he didn’t have a girlfriend. I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior. Gorgeous. Popular. Played on the football team, sort of like a weak copy of you. We went out on a few dates. He was always sneaking me around, never taking me out in public or with his friends, but I didn’t care. I was too far gone over him.”

This story is going in a bad direction. I can feel it. “A weak copy of me?” What, does she have a pattern? A type she prefers? Is she saying I fall under that type?

“You know what I mean.” She waves a hand. “He was my first. I gave up my V card to him because I was stupid, thinking it would bring us closer and he would fall totally in love with me. Then I find out he has a girlfriend, right after I had sex with him. He was totally using me because she wouldn’t mess around with him, so he ran out and found the first dumb girl who would.”

I both feel sorry for her and infuriated with her that she would do something so careless. “So what, you were fifteen when you were first with that guy?”

“Yeah.”

“How many guys have you been with, Fable?” Okay, now I totally sound like the jealous as**ole boyfriend. I don’t want to be that guy. I know she needs to get her past off her chest and it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t know her then. We were both different people then.

But knowing about her past does hurt. I can’t deny it.

“You’re going to automatically assume the number is outrageous, aren’t you? I really didn’t expect you to pass judgment on me like everyone else in my life.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “You disappoint me, Drew. I figured you were better than that.”

Fuck. How do I respond? I’ve blown it completely. Now she’s pissed. I can practically see the steam rising out of her ears. She refuses to look at me too. Instead she chooses to stare straight ahead for the rest of the ride to her apartment, her jaw hard, her eyes narrowed.

From happy to angry in a matter of minutes, that’s what I just did to her. And why? Because I’m feeling a little possessive of her time and I want her to spend it all with me? Am I that insecure? I’ve never had a real girlfriend before. I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend. Twenty-freaking-one-years old and I’m a complete, clueless idiot when it comes to relationships and how to make them work.

I pull into the parking lot of her apartment complex and her hand is already on the door handle. She looks ready to leap out of the vehicle while it’s still in motion, she wants to get away from me that badly. “Fable, wait.”

Hitting the brakes, I wait for her to respond but she doesn’t. Her back is to me, her body poised to take flight and escape right out the door. I’ve hurt her and I hate that.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice soft. “I didn’t mean to pass judgment on you. I have no right to do so. You accept all my faults, it’s the least I can do for you.”

She turns to glare at me. “Because I accept your faults, you’ll accept mine? Is that all this is? If so, I need more from you, Drew. This isn’t some tit-for-tat sort of deal. I need your trust. I need you to believe that I want to be with you and only you. And my past can’t shade our present or our future. My past has always followed me and you know what sucks? Most of the stories out there are completely untrue. I make a few wrong steps, a few bad mistakes, and it turns into me ruling a multiyear Slutdom over all the guys. Through high school, outside of high school…”

I remain quiet, absorbing her words. She’s right. I can’t let her past bother me or darken our future. If I do, I’m just setting us up to fail.

“I’m not perfect,” she murmurs. “No one is. But I’m not going to pay for my mistakes every time you get mad at me or jealous. Going out with Jen tomorrow night isn’t about me trying to flirt with other guys or anything like that.”

“I never said it was.”

Her eyes soften the slightest bit. “So what’s the problem? Why are you acting like this?”

“I’m not good at this sort of thing. I’m f**king it all up and I don’t know why.” I tap my fingers against the edge of the steering wheel, unsure of what to say next, feeling edgy as hell.

She holds all the cards in this argument right now. I’m scared she’s going to say I’m not worth the trouble.

“Using that as an excuse isn’t going to fly forever, you know. After a while, it’ll just get old.”

“What are we doing, Fable?” I ask incredulously.

She shrugs. “Having our first fight as a couple?”

I want to laugh but I don’t. “I mean this. Us. What’s going on between us?”

“If you have to ask, that scares me,” she answers warily.

“Are we really a couple? Are we in a relationship? We haven’t defined it yet.”

“Do we need to? Can’t we just take it day by day?” She turns away from me and stares out the window. “I’m tired. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now.”

Panic rises within me. “But…”

“I think I want to be alone. I’m super tired and the last few days have been sorta overwhelming.” She opens the door and climbs out of my truck, bending over so she can meet my gaze through the still-open door. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

It’s like she’s leaving me for good. My throat’s dry and I can hardly force any words out, I’m so worried this is it. With my luck, I’ll never see her again. “Yeah,” I croak before she slams the door. “Call me.”

She offers me a tiny smile before she lets the door close. And then she turns and walks away.

Taking my heart with her.

Chapter Fourteen

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever. – Alfred Tennyson

Fable

“Wake up.” I yank the covers from Owen and he tries to grab at them, rolling onto his back with an agonized groan.

“Shit, Fabes, what are you doing here? And why are you waking me up like some sort of drill sergeant?”

“Ha, if I were a drill sergeant I’d have a whistle blasting in your ear and be commanding you to run some damn laps.” I thwack him on the leg with my index finger and thumb, dropping the comforter back on him in a pile. “You’re going to be late for school.”

He cracks open his eyes and glances at the clock on his rickety bedside table. “It’s not even seven yet. Why the hell are you up? What are you even doing here? I thought you’d stay the night with your new lover boy again.”

Yeah, well, so did I. I’d even contemplated asking Drew to stay with me so I could be here for Owen last night. But that petty argument we got into ruined all those plans.

“I wanted to stay home and talk to you.” I sit on the edge of his bed, glancing around his room. It’s a disaster, not that mine is much better, but at least I didn’t have smelly socks lying all over the place and a pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the room that I swear was waist-high. “You need to douche this room and soon.”

“Did my big sister use the word ‘douche’? I think I’ve heard it all.” He sits up and rubs the back of his head. “I can’t believe you ditched your new man for me. You must want to talk about some serious shit.”

“Why must you continue to use such foul language?” I sound like a mom. I should be used to his constant cussing. And really, I have no room to judge. I’ve had a foul mouth for years. It was my first act of rebellion against my mother and I never let up.

“Gimme a break. You curse like a sailor.” He stifles a yawn and scratches his bare chest. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I’ve been thinking.” I pluck at a loose thread on his worn comforter. I really wish I had more money so I could buy the both of us nicer things. “I want to find a different apartment.”

He’s quiet for a moment and I look at him, see the shock and disbelief written all over his face. “You want to move? And leave me with Mom all alone?”

“No.” I shake my head. “No, no, no. I would never do that. I want us to leave Mom. I want the two of us to live together.” When he doesn’t say a word, I forge on. “She’s never here. She’s always with her new boyfriend and she doesn’t have a job anymore so she can’t pay rent. I’m paying for everything and trust me, it’s hard. I don’t make a ton of money. I work freaking part-time though my new boss is willing to give me more hours.”

“That’s great.”

“It is, but we still have too much apartment here. I bet I could find a two-bedroom in a better neighborhood for way less money. What do you think? You want to do it?”

“I’ll go wherever you go,” he says but I can hear the hesitation in his voice.

“But what?”

“But…I’m only fourteen. Aren’t there legalities or whatever about that sort of stuff? Like won’t Mom have to make you my guardian or something if I go and live with you?”

“Why would she need to? Let’s not pretend that she wants us around here so bad. She won’t care if you come live with me.”

“She might.” He drops his head, bunching the comforter up in his lap.

Crap. He wants to believe Mom actually cares about him. After all, he’s just a kid. No one wants to face the realization that their mom doesn’t give a rat’s ass about them. I still don’t like facing it. But I’ve put up a wall against the pain and tell myself it doesn’t matter. I don’t need her.

“Owen.” I grip his knee and he looks up, his gaze meeting mine. We both have the same eyes as Mom, though I always thought his were prettier. He has the thickest, darkest lashes I’ve ever seen, and I don’t know where he got them from considering his hair is a dirty blond. Girls are going to go crazy for those eyes someday, if they aren’t already. My brother is handsome. Cocky and full of attitude. I feel sorry for any girl who falls for him. “I want you with me. I don’t want to do this alone.”

“What about Drew Callahan? Wouldn’t you want to move in with him? Isn’t he rich?”

I grimace. “I have no idea what’s going on with Drew. But you and me? We’re blood. We’re family. I’m not about to leave you. We’re all each other has.”

“What’s Mom gonna do? Don’t you think she’ll get mad?”

“I doubt it. This way she doesn’t have to worry about us and she can go live with her boyfriend. I can find a nicer place that’s smaller and pay less rent. It’s a win-win for us all.” I can’t think about Mom getting upset with me for wanting to do this. Why should she care? I’m making her life easier.

“What happens if it doesn’t work out for her and Larry the Loser? Then where will she go?”

“Owen.” I grip his knee tighter. “She’s not our responsibility. She’s an adult. She can take care of herself.”

He tilts his head, screws up his lips. Looking far older and world-weary than any fourteen-year-old should. “I just worry about her. I worry about you too. I’m supposed to be the man of the house.”

My jaw drops. “Who told you that?”

“Mom. A long time ago. She said I had to watch out for the both of you and I promised I always would. I haven’t done the best job of it but I swear, I try.”

My heart breaks for this kid. He’s gone through so much at too young of an age. He’s seen too much. Grabbing his shoulders, I bring him in for a quick hug, not holding on to him for too long since I know he’ll just wiggle out of my grip anyway. “We’ll take care of each other, okay? It’s not all on me or all on you. We’ll share the load.”

“I’ll help you with whatever you need, Fabes. I’m on your side. I promise.” He clings to me again and I hug him close, savoring it for a little while longer. I love him so much. I hate that he’s conflicted between Mom and me.

“Go take a shower,” I tell him once I get up off his bed and start out of his room. “And when you get home today, I want you to clean this room. It sucks.”

His laughter follows me down the hall as I head toward the kitchen. I’ve been up for over a half hour, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking of looking for an apartment today, talking to Owen about it, maybe gathering up the courage to talk to Mom about her moving out.

Trying my best to not think of Drew.

What the hell happened last night, anyway? Our fight had started out of nothing. I tried to be honest with him and he got all macho-man-how-many-guys-have-you-fucked-anyway on me. I accept him for who he is, flaws and all, so why can’t he accept me?

I get irritated just thinking about it. So it’s best I don’t.

A knock sounds at the door and I scowl. Who the hell is here at seven in the morning? Stomping over to the door, I look through the peephole but I see nothing. I throw open the door and peek to the left, then the right. No one’s there.