“I don’t know. It certainly seems so.”

I’d had every intention of reading the third book, but I needed time to absorb what I’d just read. While Cookie read, sucking in a soft breath here and there, I made more coffee, because one needed copious amounts of coffee when one couldn’t sleep, then I announced my need for fresh air. Cookie barely took note. I threw on some shoes and a jacket and went for a walk.

The crisp night air felt good. I walked to the UNM campus and strolled the beautiful grounds.

The book, for all intents and purposes, was spot-on. At least from what I’d been told. I still didn’t remember much of my godly past, and it had been suggested that the God Jehovah had taken some of my memories. But why would He?

The only fallacy I’d found was in the telling of who created the hell dimension within the god glass. From everything I’d been told, Reyes didn’t build that hell dimension. God had built it for His little brother. But with the author so right on everything else, why would he get that wrong?

“Given up on me yet?”

I turned to see Reyes following me, strolling aimlessly just as I was. Or pretending to. His walk was that of an animal, full of power and grace, stalking its prey.

I continued my walk and let him follow, not knowing if we were in a dream or reality. Maybe it was both.

“Never,” I said, dipping my fingertips in a fountain as I walked. “They’re coming for you. The angels.”

“Aren’t they always.”

“They’re sending an army.”

“To do what? Glare at me harshly? They cannot take me down, and they know it.” He stepped closer. “But you can. Shall we meet on the battleground and finish what we started?”

His suggestion startled me. The battleground? I could no more imagine myself doing battle with a god than I could imagine myself hula dancing. “Is that what you want?”

“I want the embers.” His voice, deep and bourbon-smooth, trickled over my skin.

“I want world peace,” I said, tired of fighting. Of battles. Of conflict.

Then he was at my back, wrapping his arms around me from behind, one at my waist, one at my neck. He buried his face in my hair and growled.

I’d craved him so badly, I sank against him, fitting my body into his as though we were puzzle pieces. As though we were lock and key.

“I didn’t betray you,” I said, remembering the book and how the Dark Star had believed the First had betrayed him.

His mouth found my ear, his breath hot against my cheek, when he said, “Of course you did.”

And just like every other time Reyes had entered my mind, I jerked to awareness. I whirled around, seeing only the deserted campus.

Did he truly believe I’d betrayed him? If anything, it was the opposite. He’d betrayed me, or the First Star, whatever the case may be.

I needed answers, and this was getting me nowhere. It was time for a sit-down. I hurried home and found Cookie reading the third book.

“I’m going for a drive.”

“Okay,” she said, waving one hand absently, completely absorbed in the book.

“I’m going to have a little talk with Reyes’s big Brother.”

“Good for you, hon.”

After grabbing my bag and keys, I left her to her own devices, but just as I closed the front door, I heard her belated, “Wait, what?”

13

Apparently, “Just fuck me up” is not

an appropriate coffee order at Starbucks.

—MEME

I drove out to our old stomping grounds, a gorgeous abandoned convent that Reyes bought when I was pregnant with Beep. It sat nestled in the Jemez Mountains, about an hour northwest of Albuquerque.

I maneuvered Misery around trees and through a dry riverbed until the convent came into view. We’d lived there for eight months, and seeing the structure again caused a gentle ache in my heart. It seemed like years since I’d seen it. In reality, it had only been a few months. Wait, no, two. Only two months? It boggled my mind.

I searched for the hidden key and found it in a fake turtle beside the door. Better than a real turtle, I supposed. I opened the door and toured the place, using the flashlight on my phone. Stepping out the back door, I could see the clearing where Cookie and Uncle Bob married, the copse of trees where a group of hellhounds snarled and snapped at me, the well I’d fallen into and had a child. Not a typical birthing story, but definitely one for the record books.

I sat on a bench surrounded by mesquite and summoned Michael. We were on holy ground, after all. He should feel right at home.

It took only a thought to pull him from his dimension into mine, but it would take a lot of talking to calm him down. Apparently, angels didn’t like to be summoned. I could hardly blame them. I didn’t even like to be texted most of the time.

He appeared before me, his massive wings slightly open as though readying for flight. Or a fight. Either way. His silvery eyes bored into mine, his hand resting on the sword at his side as he took a step closer.

“You should take care, Elle-Ryn-Ahleethia.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll do that. But first, I want a word with your Boss.”

His head tilted to the side as though curious about me. “Good luck with that.”

“Now, please.”

The look on his normally stoic face was one of incredulity. “Have you ever heard the phrase be careful what you wish for?”

I bowed my head and stared at him from underneath my lashes, concentrating as hard as I could. Not on Michael, but on his Father. On Reyes’s Brother. I didn’t know His real name. I only knew the names we humans had given Him. Then again, maybe I didn’t need it.

With deliberate intention, I focused all my energy and whispered one word. “Now.”

Michael transformed into a sea of smoke and vanished, and for a moment I thought I’d lost the game.

Then I felt it. A power like nothing I’d ever experienced. Like nothing I’d ever dreamed possible. It flowed through me as though I were a veil of silk filtering its essence.

I whirled around to find … Him.

The power emanating out of Him was impossible to mistake as anything other than Jehovah. I stood motionless as I took in the form He’d chosen: a young boy of Indonesian descent. Interesting, since the books I was reading were written by an Indonesian boy.

“You rang?” He said, His voice like an ocean drowning me in its warmth. He sat cross-legged on a boulder a few feet away.

“I read the second book.”

“And?” He asked the question as though He already knew I’d read it. Then I realized He did. I had once dissipated and joined all living things around me, and I knew everything about each and every person for a thousand miles.

“Is it true?”

“Which part?”

“I’d always thought You created the god glass for Reyes. You’d built a hell dimension just for him.”

“Did I?”

“That’s what I’m asking.”

“Hell dimensions aren’t really My thing.”

My thing? His colloquialism surprised me.

“Then it’s true? You tricked him into creating it all the while knowing You’d lock him inside?”

“You forget the most important part.” He lifted a knee and planted an arm on top. “He created a hell dimension solely for you as well.”

“But he released me.”

“Ah, yes, when he realized he loved you. Is that how the story went?”

I knew I didn’t have a lot of time. God had to be a busy Guy. I wanted to ask my most important question, but I also longed to understand their relationship. The dynamics of it. The form. “If the story is true and Reyes creates hell dimensions, why do You have him do all Your dirty work?”

He didn’t take offense. He leaned back in mild interest. “We are gods, are We not? We create. We shape. We mold. Rey’azikeen is no different. He just thinks a little darker than most. He is a little darker than most. That darkness he embodies comes in handy.”

“Are You saying the darkness Reyes creates is truly from him? A part of his essence?”

“We all have Our strengths.”

Talking to God was as bad as talking to Michael. I sighed and said almost hesitantly, “I’m told we were once friends.”

“We were.”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t remember. Did You steal my memories?”

“That was part of the agreement. It’s all in the contract.”

My lids widened. “There’s an actual contract?”

He laughed softly. “No. And if there had been, you would’ve been in breach, wouldn’t you say?”

“Why?”

“Your job was to either tame My brother or devour him. It would seem you did neither.”

“Is that why You would send an army after Your own brother?”

“He must be stopped. You had your chance, so…”

“What did he do that was so bad?”

He lowered His head as though overtaken by sadness. “That is between Us.”