I was the one lapping up the desire and want that dripped out of him, tangy and salty on my tongue.

I was the one he was both harsh and gentle for.

I was the one who got all his soft and all of his hard.

I was the one who was going to swallow him whole and then go back for seconds, because this was going to be our best goodbye and I wanted the memories we were making on the way to being over, to be some of the best ones either of us could have.

I was working him with everything I had. Hands, lips, teeth, tongue. I was breathing just as hard as he was, and could tell by the way his spine stiffened, and the way his thrusts turned erratic and wild, that he was close. It was more than I ever took from any man I was intimate with, but for him I wanted it all and then I wanted him to give me more.

I could feel him pulsing heavy and hard in my mouth. I was ready to explode watching the way the corded muscles in his stomach contracted and released. I wanted to touch myself while I watched his eyes cloud over as foggy gray rolled in and made everything dark and dangerous looking. His jaw clenched and the hold he had on the top of my head shifted so that his hands were around the base of my skull. I was skirting my fingers across the flexing surface of his ass, aiming for those soft little sacs that were drawn up tight and anxious for release, but he didn’t let me reach my destination.

I wanted him to finish, he wanted me sprawled out on the bed underneath him.

He was bigger, so he got his way and before I could utter a protest through swollen and shiny lips. He had the button on my jeans undone, a wide hand spanning the space between my hips and a rough, calloused finger on the center of my desire. That little point pulsed so hard against his touch that it made my back bow up off the bed and my eyes cross as I moaned his name. My underwear was shoved to the side, the buttons on my shirt flew in a million directions under impatient hands, and my aching nipples rose up in victory as they were set free as he shoved the cups of my bra up and out of his way.

It was my turn to thread shaking fingers through thick hair, as his dark head lowered to my chest, so that his strong teeth could scrape across begging flesh. It made me whimper and it made my entire body quiver under the weight of his. He urged me to lift my hips up so he could pull denim and cotton out of his way, but he muttered the words around my puckering nipple that he refused to let go of. The pressure from his mouth and the bite of his teeth felt like some kind of glorious torture. I never wanted it to end, and I was excruciatingly sad that I knew what it felt like, because I was going to miss it when it was gone.

I whispered his name as he finally rose up over me enough to get the rest of my clothes out of the way. My legs shifted restlessly against the side of the bed, as that heated spot between them throbbed heavily for his touch. He watched the motion with hooded eyes and I couldn’t stop myself from letting my limbs fall open under his intent stare. I put a hand low on my belly and the other on the breast he had left wet and ready. I touched where I needed his hands and he watched me like I was his favorite movie.

He shook his head slowly and ran his tongue over the curve of his bottom lip. It was puffy and slick from my ravenous mouth. “There are so many things I want to do for you, and do to you. The list is endless and I feel like I’m working against the clock here, Leo.” He leaned forward and pressed his mouth against mine. This kiss light, precious. I was surprised that it felt like it would last just as long as the one that had hurt. “I want you on my tongue. I want you to come all over my fingers and I want to come all over those perfect fucking tits.” His head shook again and the corner of his lips quirked up and a slash of white broke through the darkness in the room as he grinned at me. “I want to let you finish sucking me off. I want to bend you over and take your ass. I want you to sit on my face and let me leave razor burns all over the inside of those pretty white thighs. I want all of it and there isn’t time for any of it.”

I gulped and moved the hand that was playing with my nipple to my throat. I’d never done most of those things, but hearing him list out all the ways in which he wanted me, it made me furious with fate that I wasn’t going to experience them with him and if not with him, then never. I trusted him. That was the thing that had been missing from the men in my life all along. I could never open myself up to them the way I did with Cy, because I didn’t trust them and I didn’t trust myself.

I reached up to grab him and sighed when he let me pull him back down on top of me. He braced his weight above me with an arm crooked over my head and we both let out a sigh of contentment when I wrapped both my legs high around his waist. His hardness found my wetness with little work and I panted a choppy little breath as he dragged the tip of that hard erection through silken and damp folds. I felt myself pulse and blood pound in anticipation but my hands held him tenderly, reverently.

“There’s no clock right now, Cy. There’s just me and you. We would hear it ticking because there’s no place for the sound to hide. All I can hear is your heartbeat and mine, racing to keep up with it. All I see is you and all I feel is the way you make me feel special and important. There wasn’t a lot of time for you to do that, but you did. So, right now we focus on the ways we can have each other and not on the ways we can’t.” Because if I started thinking about everything I would be missing once day came, and I focused on the experiences with him that I would never have, then I would fall apart and this sexy goodbye would turn into a tearful goodbye and I didn’t want that for either of us.