He stood there and just stared at her.

“Please,” she said.

“Della, I didn’t mean … I’m not giving up on us.”

She gripped her hands into fists. “There is no us, Steve. There never has been an us.”

Disappointment flashed in his eyes again, and she realized how much she hated disappointing people. Chan, her parents, and now Steve. The knot in her throat doubled. “Leave.”

Kylie and Miranda showed up minutes after Steve left. Della had three diet drinks set out on the table. They forced condolence hugs on her, and then they sat down at the table to hear what happened. The last thing Della wanted was to go through Chan’s death again, but she’d told them she would explain. She wasn’t going back on her word—not even if it hurt.

She told them about getting the phone call from Chan’s friend. She barely managed to tell them about finding Chan’s body. She didn’t tell them about Steve. Frankly, she felt stupid letting something as trivial as a breakup, not that it was even really a breakup, hurt her when she had her cousin’s death to think about.

But it did hurt. Her heart burned with the knowledge that she’d lost someone else. It didn’t even matter that, logically, he’d never really been hers to lose.

“Have you seen him again?” Kylie asked.

Della hesitated, half thinking Kylie knew about Steve. “Seen who?”

“Chan? Have any more feathers appeared? I mean, it seems that he might be the ghost. Don’t you think?”

Della nodded. “Yeah, I’ve seen him. Remember I told you I saw him at the gate last week? And then when Burnett and I were leaving the park, I saw him again.”

Miranda’s eyes widened. “You actually saw a ghost? Isn’t that unheard of for vampires?”

“Not all vampires,” Kylie answered Miranda. “Burnett sees them sometimes.” Then the chameleon looked back at Della. “So, he’s shown himself. Did he say what he wants?”

She shook her head, feeling the emotion tighten her throat. “No. He was like there one second and gone the next. And someone was with him.” And he’d looked at Della with the saddest eyes.

“Maybe he just wanted to say good-bye,” Miranda said. “Not that it makes it okay. It’s spookier than hell.”

“It is okay.” Kylie placed her hand over Della’s. “But chances are it’s more than just him saying good-bye. So he didn’t say anything at all?”

Della shook her head. “He probably wants to tell me I let him down.” And it was going to hurt like hell hearing it, but she deserved it. She had let him down.

“I can’t believe that,” Kylie said. “You didn’t let him down.”

“Yeah, well everyone keeps saying that, but I don’t see it that way.”

“Then you’re not seeing it right,” Miranda said in a stern voice. “Della Tsang doesn’t let people down. I mean, look at us. We fight all the time. I know you can’t stand me sometimes, and yet you’ve never let me down. Even when you’re mad at me, you always come through. That’s why I love you.” Tears filled the witch’s eyes.

The emotion in Della’s chest made it hard to breathe. “Thanks.” But she wasn’t sure Chan would see it that way.

Miranda wiped the tears from her face. “Maybe your cousin knows about your uncle and wanted to tell you.”

“That could be it,” Kylie said, and then she looked at Della. “Did you tell Holiday about seeing Chan?”

“No,” Della said. “I haven’t told her anything about the ghost. Not yet.”

“You should,” Kylie said. “She can help you deal with the whole ghost thing.”

“First I have to deal with Chan’s death,” Della said.

“I know,” Kylie said, and reached over and put her hand over Della’s. “I know how hard it is. When I lost Nana, it nearly killed me.”

“I haven’t lost anyone, but I can imagine how it hurts,” Miranda said. “And both Kylie and I are here for you. I won’t even get mad at you when you get pissy. You’ve got an it’s-okay-to-be-pissy pass from me.”

“A pissy pass?” Della repeated, and while it sounded so funny she felt the air in her lungs shudder with emotion.

“Yes,” Miranda said with conviction.

“Oh,” Kylie said. “I brought you your uncle’s file.” She pulled it out of her bag sitting beside the table and handed it to Della. “Have you told Derek about this? It might help him find something.”

“No, not yet.” I’ve been too busy breaking up with Steve. Della opened it and stared down at the writing. Guilt for worrying more about finding her uncle than staying in touch with her cousin did another tug on her heart.

“You look exhausted,” Kylie said. “Have you slept any?”

“Not yet.” Della massaged her temple again. Her headache returning like a bad penny. Boy was she a mess. Her life falling apart piece by piece. Her dad hated her. She was getting clobbered on the head by either a murderer or the death angels. Steve was kissing Jessie. Her cousin was dead. And she was seeing ghosts. Could anything else happen?

Yup, it could. She found out Monday afternoon. Burnett had called and asked Della to meet him at his office. He started out telling her that Chan’s autopsy had been delayed and it would be a week before they could place Chan in the grave site that held his marker from when he faked his death.

“Why so long?” The thought of Chan’s body being in some cold morgue hurt.

“Because there were no signs of foul play, the autopsy is going to take a little longer than I’d hoped.”

Della nodded. “I want to be there.” Her chest grew heavy.

“At the autopsy?” he asked, confused.

“No, at the burial,” she said.

He exhaled as if in disagreement. “It’s going to be done in the middle of the night and quickly.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want him to be buried alone.” She hadn’t seen Chan’s ghost again, and thought maybe he’d passed on, but at the very least, she was going to be there when his body was put in the earth. She could remember the crowd that had been at Lorraine’s funeral. The people who had been there to show their love for her. Della couldn’t live with the thought that Chan would be dropped in a grave and not have anyone—not one person there to mourn for him.

Burnett stared at her with defiance and she suspected what he was about to say. “With all you have been through, don’t you think it would be wise to forgo working on the recent murder case?”

Her suspicions were on the mark. “No! And don’t use this as an excuse to stop me.”

He held up his hand, his eyes tightening. “I just think you’ve had too much on your plate.”

Of course it was too much. She felt like she was dying inside, but not doing anything would make it worse. “It doesn’t matter. Not only do I want to do this, I need something else to think about other than my cousin’s death.” Other than her father’s hatred of her and losing all hope of her and Steve. “Please. Didn’t I, with Kylie and Miranda’s help, do well at the funeral home yesterday? We caught that guy.”

“You did. But I still don’t think you three going to the funeral home alone was a good idea.”

“And yet it turned out okay,” she insisted.

She saw in the way his shoulders slumped that he’d given in. “Fine. Then you start tonight. I’ve got some information about a local gang hangout. I want you and Chase there to see if you—”

“Chase?” Della asked, panic forming in a tight ball in the pit of her stomach. “I’m working with Chase?”

Burnett nodded. “You have a problem with Chase?”

“Maybe,” she said. Hell, yes, she had a problem. She knew when Chase brought over her phone that he’d done it with the intent to start trouble. And he’d succeeded, too.

Not that it was his fault Steve had swapped spit with Jessie, but Chase’s part in the problem still irked her. She was so angry she’d even avoided eye contact with him during the two classes they shared. Oh, she felt him staring at her, but she’d never given him one glance.

And the phone issue was only part of the problem. There was her knowing she’d run across him before and then what Jenny had told her about him meeting someone at the gate. She almost told Burnett about Jenny’s discovery, but then she recalled Jenny asking her not to say anything.

“What is your problem with Chase?” Burnett asked.

She couldn’t out and out lie, but avoiding telling the truth was no sin. “Why not send Lucas?”

Burnett’s brow wrinkled. “You’d rather work with a werewolf than another vampire? That’s odd.”

“Not really. I know Lucas. I trust Lucas. Besides, isn’t that part of what Shadow Falls is all about? Getting along and playing nice with other species? I can deal with Lucas.”

Burnett leaned back in his chair, and the piece of furniture groaned with his new position. “Why don’t you like Chase?” he asked directly, as if he knew she was skipping around the truth.

Chapter Twenty-four

Della wasn’t finished skipping over the truth. “He seems to be full of secrets.”

“What kind of secrets?” Burnett asked.

“If I knew, they wouldn’t be secrets.” Yup, she could skip with the best of them.

Burnett frowned. “Chase’s already working this case.”

Della leaned forward in her seat. It was her turn to put Burnett in the hot seat. “Why do you trust Chase? He’s not here a week and you recruit him. That’s not like you. Did you know him before?”

“No,” he answered, and while Della tried to listen to his heart, she couldn’t. Her hearing was out. What the frack was wrong with her senses?

Burnett continued, “I think I mentioned that he has impressed me with his abilities.”

“What abilities?” Della had noted Chase’s speed, but …

“All of them,” he answered, but looked unhappy about her inquisitiveness.

She suspected there were things he wasn’t telling her, but if she continued to pursue this line of questioning, he might decide she shouldn’t work the case at all. The last thing she wanted was to get this yanked from her.

He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk. “If you’re not comfortable—”

“I’m fine,” she said before he could say it.

“But if you don’t trust him—”

“The best way for me to start trusting him is to work with him, right?” Her gut knotted at the thought of Burnett pulling her from the case.

He continued to stare at her. Hard. He didn’t say anything. She could see the debate going on in his eyes. To give her this case or pull her off. And it didn’t look as if it was going in her favor.

“I want to catch this creep,” she said. “It’s the least I can do.”

Burnett’s frown deepened. “Della, there is a fine line agents have to follow. It lies between wanting justice and somehow feeling responsible for the horrible things we see. There are cases that never get solved. People die. People we love die, like Chan, and I know you feel responsible, but…”

“I know I didn’t cause his death,” Della said.

“But you still feel responsible, don’t you?” he said adamantly.

It was a direct question. She couldn’t lie. “If I’d answered his call, or called him back, I might have been able to prevent it. But Chan’s death doesn’t have anything to do with me working this case.”

“The emotional state of an agent always affects their ability to work a case.”

“I can do this, Burnett.”

He set his hands on his desk. The light from the window shined through and made his black hair look almost blue. He picked up a pen and rolled it in his hands.

He continued to study her. “When I was fourteen, there was a girl I liked. Half human, half fae. We used to go to the lake and swim all the time.”

He paused and set the pen down as if the memory took him back to the past. “One afternoon she called and wanted me to go to the lake with her. I had another friend ask me to go running with him earlier, and I didn’t want to let him down. She went to the lake with a few other friends. She drowned that day. I was horrified, and for about a year I blamed myself. If I’d been there, I could have saved her. It took a long time to realize that sometimes bad things happen, and it’s not anyone’s fault.”

Della glanced up at him. “Maybe in time I’ll come to the same conclusion. But only if I stay busy with other things.” Like catching a killer.

“Fine. You can work the case with Chase, but don’t make me regret this decision.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

His gaze filled with empathy. “Time is always our friend,” he said. “But in the meantime, try to ease up on yourself. Our hearts get too heavy if we carry too much guilt and grief around all the time.”

She felt the weight in her chest right now. She nodded. “You’re beginning to sound like Holiday.”

“She does have a way of rubbing off on me.” His concerned expression changed to something softer.

Love, Della thought. Burnett and Holiday were still crazy about each other. Just like Kylie and Lucas, Miranda and Perry. Even her parents. Would she ever be able to let herself go there again?