She bit back a groan as his palm eased between her thighs. “I don’t want to be a pity fuck.”

“This is so not pity.” He made slow, lazy circles on the skin of her inner thighs, his thumb just brushing where she wanted his touch. “And it won’t be a f**k if you don’t want it.”

Okay, then. She wanted it. God, she wanted it. But what shocked her, what truly shook her so hard she actually trembled, was that she all of a sudden wanted not just an orgasm, but a connection. Just once she’d like to feel what it was to have someone care, not about what she could give them, but about what she wanted. Yes, Thanatos wanted the baby she carried inside her, but his obligation to her ended with food, shelter, and safety.

Making her feel good was a gift, and it was something only he could do. And it was something she wanted from him only.

“I … want it.”

“Show me.”

Tight, shivery arousal coiled in her belly as she reached down and took his hand. Both of them were trembling when she dragged his fingers to her core.

His groan vibrated against her back as one finger slid between her folds. “You’re so wet.”

She arched into his caress, forcing his touch deeper. His c**k nudged the seam of her butt, and she instinctively lifted one leg to allow his shaft to slip between her thighs. Desire became a thundering pulse in her veins and a roar in her ears.

“I don’t…” Thanatos ground his h*ps against her, making his shaft slide hotly against her skin. “I don’t know much about this.”

It must have been a painful admission for him, but that didn’t stop him from pushing one finger inside her and swirling it over sensitive spots like an expert.

“Neither do I,” she gasped, “but I promise, you’re doing fine.”

He moved his hand, replacing it with his cock. His shaft slid back and forth between her thighs, not yet inside her, but still stroking achy flesh with each pump of his hips. Pushing up on one elbow and leaning over her, he captured her chin in his palm and tilted her head back so he could see her. His eyes glowed in the dim light, the hunger in them stark and desperate.

“Kiss me?” There was a vulnerability in his request that had such a powerful effect on her that she almost choked up.

In answer, she lifted her head up and touched her lips to his. Even in this awkward position, their mouths fused in a burning, urgent kiss. His lips parted for the sweep of her tongue against his, and good God, he tasted good. Like ale and bitter chocolate, sin and decadence.

“Please,” she whispered brokenly against his mouth. “Please…now.”

She pushed back against him, and the blunt head of him found her core. For a long moment, they were motionless, their breaths and pulses in perfect unison. Heat poured off him, bathing her in warmth. Need was something they shared, and when she couldn’t stand the tension anymore, he seemed to know, and he entered her in one long, slow thrust.

He eased her head down to the pillow and settled in behind her, spooning. “You okay?” His voice was wonderfully rough.

“Oh, yes.” She arched, taking him deeper, and he groaned.

Her blood quickened as he began to pump his hips. His touch was light, his thrusts gentle, so maddeningly restrained. But against her neck, his breath came in fast, hot bursts.

“All I could think of was you.” He moved faster, his palm sliding over her swollen belly to her center, where he found the sensitive knot that tingled under his touch. “When I was gone, all I wanted was to be back here with you. Only you.”

Twenty-two

All I could think of was you. When I was gone, all I wanted was to be back here with you. Only you.

Thanatos couldn’t believe he’d said that. Five thousand years had shown him that males did and said the dumbest shit when they were inside a female, but Than had always believed he’d be different. If he could ever have sex, anyway.

And what had he done? He’d gone and poured his fool heart out to Regan. He’d just flayed himself wide open like one of the lovesick idiots he used to scorn.

Still, with each slow thrust, he couldn’t deny that it all felt so right. He’d been raised to worship nature, to understand that everything happened for a reason and if something felt right, you went with the flow. The day he was cursed to be a Horseman, his human life was set aside, replaced by anger and violence… all things he’d been taught to avoid.

Only now was he remembering the fundamentals of his youth—the joy of a laugh or eating a meal with someone who wasn’t your brother or sister, the peace of sharing a quiet moment in front of a fire, the crackling energy behind a teasing smile, the mutual love of something as simple as butter on a sandwich.

That was life. Those were the things that made people happy to be alive. It was all coming back to him, and it was this moment, with this woman, that made it happen.

A throaty cry rang out, a beautiful feminine sound that fired his blood. Regan’s silky channel pulsed around him, contracting and releasing in exquisite timing with his pistoning hips. The spooning position restricted his movement as well as the depth of his thrusts, but being able to surround her with his arms, to cover her with his body, and protect the life inside her made it incredible.

Besides, he didn’t think missionary would be comfortable—or even possible—in her condition, and while he’d love to get her on her hands and knees eventually, this was what they needed now.

“Faster,” she moaned. “Harder.”

“Are you sure?” He lifted her leg to allow his c**k maximum penetration. “I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, her entire body quivering. “I’m so sure.”

Her assurance snapped the restraints that had held him back. On his arm, Styx reared up like a stallion out of a gate. Thanatos let loose, driving into her sweet softness as if he would die without her. She reached back and buried her fist in his hair, clinging to him, forcing his mouth against her satiny neck. God, she smelled good, like the strawberries and cream soap Limos had brought, but underneath was the earthy aroma Than always associated with power.

Regan was power. The fine muscles in her arms and back rippled as she rocked against him, and her fingers dug into his scalp, guiding his mouth where she wanted it. His fangs elongated, pulsing with the need to bite into her tender flesh, and when they accidentally grazed her skin, he hissed and jerked back.

“No,” she whispered. “You don’t need to hide them anymore. Not with me.”

Her sweet words leveled him. She had every reason to hate what she’d learned about him, but was instead asking him to embrace what he’d kept secret for so long. He couldn’t bite her—he’d never risk that, especially when she couldn’t afford to lose the blood that was nourishing the baby. But he lowered his head to lick the delicate vein beneath her jaw, tasting her before pressing the tips of his fangs to her skin.

The tap of her pulse against his teeth joined the hammering of his heartbeat, setting his blood ablaze. And as Regan’s panting breaths turned to whimpers and gasps, his pleasure peaked. She joined him with a cry, bucking and arching, and he thought she might have actually called his name.

Awesome.

They lay there in the aftermath, their ragged breaths drowning out the crackle of the fire. That had been … extraordinary. Never had he experienced anything like that, anything that involved the melding of bodies and pleasure and intimacy. Yeah, he and Regan had f**ked that one time, but they’d been drugged, and he’d been distracted by fear for his Seal.

This had been the true taking of his virginity.

“Is that…” He rested his forehead against her silky hair, his heart pounding from both exertion and a touch of embarrassment.

Still reaching back, Regan played with one of his braids. “Is that…what?”

Just spit it out. “Is that what it’s always like?” And was he supposed to stay inside her like this? Or was he supposed to pull out? God, he hated this. He was as old as the wheel, as Reseph used to say, and he didn’t know a damned thing about what to do with a woman.

Regan tensed, a subtle hardening of her muscles, a mere sharp inhale, but it was there. “I don’t know.”

He lifted his head to stare at her. “I assumed—”

“That I was a slut.” She dropped her hand and shifted, and his c**k slid from her warmth.

Well, shit. He had sort of called her that, hadn’t he? You volunteered to play whore. How many men have you f**ked for your job? At the time, he’d been furious, and for all he knew, he’d been right. But in the time Regan had been here with him, he’d seen a woman who regretted what she’d done, who cared for the growing life inside her, who was ready to die in order to save that life. No doubt, she was still the badass Guardian he’d met nine months ago, but he’d seen the emotional, sensitive, vulnerable human beneath her demon-slayer shell.

“I don’t think you’re a slut,” he said softly. “And …” This was going to hurt. “I’m sorry for implying that you were.” Yep, ouch. He and apologies didn’t get along. “I just assumed you had some experience. Was I wrong?”

She sighed, and most of the tension melted out of her posture. “You’re only my second. My first… didn’t go well. We only did it once.”

He f**king loved that answer. He wrapped his arms around her and tugged her back into him. “Why just the once?”

“My power. When I…get excited…I lose control of it. That’s why it came out that night with you.”

He frowned. “Then why didn’t it attack me just now?” When she didn’t respond, he traced his fingers over the gentle slope of her shoulder. “Regan?”

“It’s gone.” She paused, as if struggling to find the right words. “I think it’s got something to do with the pregnancy. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Don’t tell The Aegis, you mean.”

She didn’t answer, so he shifted back to the original topic, but he wouldn’t forget. “Did you kill the guy?” He kind of hoped so. He didn’t like the idea that there was a male out there who had touched Regan.

“No, but it was scary. I swore I’d never have sex again.” She shivered, and he immediately dragged a blanket up over her.

“And then I came along, and you thought you didn’t have to worry about your ability hurting me.”

“Yes.” She rolled over, with a little effort if her grunts and groans were any indication. “I’m sorr—”

“Don’t. Remember what I said about that? It didn’t hurt me.” He lowered his mouth to Regan’s, a kiss meant to comfort her, but the moment their lips met, heat ignited. His hunger for her was all-consuming. Dangerous. Undeniable. “And it sounds like both of us have a lot of catching up to do.”

Twenty-three

God, sex with Thanatos was good. Even when he wasn’t inside her, his touch and voice alone worked her up.

“Come here,” he said roughly, as he rolled onto his back and lifted her so she was straddling his waist. He lifted his h*ps to penetrate her, but horrid memories gripped her, dragging her back down into the guilt Thanatos had asked her to leave behind, and she tried to scramble off him.

The last time they’d been in this position, he’d been restrained, and she’d been…taking him.

“Thanatos,” she whispered, fighting his hold. “I can’t do it like this.”

“Let it go, Regan.” He skimmed his hand up her ribcage to her breast, and despite her misgivings, she arched into his touch. “I wanted it. We both wanted it.”

“But you had no choice.”

He’d cupped her cheek, his palm warm, the calluses firm. “Neither did you.” With exquisite tenderness, he brought her hand to his mouth, where he kissed her knuckles. “Take away the fury and death, Regan.” His lips were satiny against her skin. “Only you can do that. Only you.”

Tears scalded her eyes. Dear God, he was amazing. Dizzy with desire and some other emotion she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—put a name to, she began to rock on top of him. His hands caressed her, stroked her, encouraged her. This was nothing like their first time. This was how it should have been.

“That’s it.” His dark, guttural voice rumbled through her in a wave of heat. “Take me.” He surged upward, his shaft plunging deep, his pelvis lifting her off the bed.

His expression was intense, eyes wild, and when his lips parted to reveal the white points of his fangs, the first contractions of a cl**ax coiled inside her. Those things were wicked sexy, and she wasn’t even going to ponder why she thought that or why she wasn’t denying it. Instead, she reached out and stroked one.

Thanatos let out a growl that should have terrified her, but the reaction that came with it made her want to do it again. His urgent thrusts crashed into her harder, faster, and his grip on her grew tighter, more possessive. And when she took the fang between her finger and thumb and caressed the smooth surface, he roared in ecstasy.

Bucking beneath her, he came in a hot, wet flow, triggering her orgasm. The pleasure crested twice, massive surges that left her gasping for breath and collapsing bonelessly next to him when it was over.

“Damn,” he breathed. “Holy … damn, that was good.” He shifted so he was facing her and tenderly brushed her hair away from her face. “The fang thing? We’ll have to remember that.”

For next time. The unspoken words were there, hanging awkwardly between them. Well, maybe it was only awkward for her, because she had no idea where this thing between them was going. He’d taken the months-of-pleasure thing back, but what if she still felt like giving it to him? She owed him so much, but the reason she owed him had grown to include the fact that no one had ever made her feel so valued.