I’ve already set up the baby bath and all of Kody’s toys. While RJ undresses him, I put lavender-scented bubbles and warm water in his tub. I turn to see how RJ is managing and smile even wider as he leans down and gives him another raspberry, then removes his diaper and gives him a tickle.

I’m about to warn RJ that naked tickles aren’t the best idea—at least not where Kody is concerned—but I’m too late. Kody giggles loudly, which also prompts him to pee, and RJ is right in the line of fire.

“Oh shit!” RJ tries to use his hand as a shield, but Kody kicks his legs, which has a loose fire hose effect. RJ looks down at his now-wet shirt and hands. “Not cool, little man, not cool.”

I clap a palm over my mouth to muffle my laugh and nudge RJ out of the way so I can get to Kody. “Did you pee all over Daddy? You got him real good, didn’t you? Yes, you did! Daddy needs a bath too, just like you!” Kody babbles and smiles as I set him in the tub, immediately slapping at the bubbles and sending a spray of water my way. At least it’s just soapy water and not pee.

At the sound of metal hitting metal, I glance over my shoulder—and suck in a breath when I catch RJ unbuckling his belt. I lift my gaze, eyes raking over six-pack abs, defined pecs, and heavy shoulders. I can’t seem to command myself to look away as he unbuttons his jeans and drags the zipper down.

In the weeks since he’s come back into my life, I’ve been hesitant to fully acknowledge the chemistry between us, to give it room to breathe, because once I do there’s no going back. But I can’t ignore the way my body heats up at the sight of him undressing in Kody’s bathroom.

“What’re you doing?” My voice is high, almost panicked.

He gives me a saucy grin. “You said I need a bath too.”

“But—”

He shoves his jeans down his thighs, and I look away, focusing on Kody in the bath and not how almost naked RJ is, or how close to me he is, or how long it’s been since I’ve had sex . . . the last time being the night—or rather morning—I conceived Kody.

RJ removes the showerhead and lets it hang, then steps over the edge of the tub and lowers himself in, one muscular leg on either side of Kody’s baby bathtub. The tub itself has less than three inches of sudsy water in it, and I’m both relieved and disappointed that RJ is still wearing boxer briefs.

I pass RJ a cloth and the baby wash. “Might as well do the honors, huh, Daddy?”

His grin grows wider as I stare in blatant appreciation at his mostly naked body taking up the vast majority of the tub. “If I wash Kody, does that mean you wash me?”

“I think you can take care of yourself just fine.” I have my doubts I’ll be able to keep things safely platonic if I help RJ out. I use the edge of the tub to pull myself up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back.”

I nab his pee-covered T-shirt and Kody’s dirty clothes and throw them in the wash. On the way back to the bathroom, I grab my phone from the living room and pad quietly down the hall. RJ is busy splashing around in the shallow water, making Kody smile and giggle, so I quickly take a bunch of pictures, thinking that these would all be perfect with the caption ovaries exploding.

I watch the muscles in his back flex as he zooms one of the bath toys around over Kody’s head. In the year since we’ve been together, he seems like he’s in even better shape, if that’s possible. My body has changed too—and it’s definitely not more defined or toned. I don’t want him to look at me differently, see me differently, although I’m aware he probably already does. I’m the mother of his child. We have a baby together. It changes everything. Which is part of the reason I’m holding on so hard to the things I know.

Also, the second I let him into my pants, I’ll inevitably let him back into my heart. With RJ, there isn’t one without the other.

I tune back in to their one-sided conversation. “You know what, little man? I think I’m making some progress with Mommy.”

Kody babbles and smacks the water, splashing him in the face.

“I know. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and I have a lot of work to do still . . . but dude, I gotta tell you, your mom’s a MILF—and if you ever tell her I said that, I’ll straight-up deny it. But God, she’s beautiful.”

Kody shrieks and kicks at the water.

“You’re handsome, no doubt about that, little man. Can I tell you something important?” Kody giggles when RJ tickles the bottoms of his feet. RJ smiles, then turns serious. “I think if it wasn’t for you, your mom wouldn’t be giving me a second chance. So thank you. I love you, buddy, and I’m hoping I get to say that to you every day for the rest of my life. Even when you’re a teenager and it embarrasses the shit out of you.”

My heart squeezes as I take in this giant of a man telling his son he loves him.

“You know who would have loved to meet you and your mom?”

Kody babbles, as if he’s answering his dad’s question.

“Your grandpa Steven James, my dad. You and me both have his dimple.” RJ touches his cheek and leans in to kiss Kody. “God, I miss him. He was such an awesome dad. We had the farm, and he was always so busy, but he still managed to make time to come to all my hockey games. I really don’t know how he did it. Farms are hell to run. Long hours, hard work, but he did it with a smile and cheered me on. I wish he was still here.” RJ squeezes shampoo into his palm and starts washing Kody’s hair.

“Your grandpa worried about me a lot. I’ll be honest, little man, I didn’t always make the best choices, especially when I first made the NHL—and I’m going to try my best to help you make better ones than I did. But your mom was definitely the best thing that ever happened to me, and so are you, and I think your grandpa would’ve loved you both so much, just like I do.”

CHAPTER 22

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Rook

Hours at the gym have become an absolute necessity these days, because otherwise, I have no way of exorcising the pent-up, restless energy that comes from being around a gorgeous, sexy woman who is also the mother of my child. Lainey is effortlessly beautiful, and she’s an incredible, patient mother—which wouldn’t have been a turn-on less than a month ago.

To be fair, I’ve seen a lot of boob recently. Seen but haven’t been able to touch. It’s an odd kind of torture. There’s been a lot of hugs and kisses on the cheek and flirty touches, but I don’t want to push too far too fast.

Then there was last night. Kody has been fussy the past few days because he’s teething, and Lainey was wiped from lack of sleep. I offered to stay over and take the middle-of-the-night feeding so Lainey could get more than a couple hours in a row. I was prepared to spend the night on the couch, and in hindsight that likely would have been a hell of a lot smarter.

She lay down with Kody on her chest, and I waited until they both fell asleep before I transferred him back to his crib. I figured it would only be a couple hours before he woke for a feeding, and her bed is so much more comfortable than the couch, so I stretched out beside her.

The middle-of-the-night feeding never came, though, so I didn’t relocate to the couch. Instead I woke up spooning Lainey, with my morning wood pressing into her back and one hand very close to cupping her boob. Thankfully it didn’t make things too awkward, which I’m taking as a good sign.