Desertion Page 60
“I can handle it, Jesse,” she whispers before Kadence takes her hand and lightly starts to pull her away.
“I don’t doubt you can. But I don’t want you to have to. Let me sort this shit out. Give me five.” My eyes hold hers, begging her for the minute before she relents and nods.
“Okay.” She steps back with Kadence and follows the girls out of the kitchen. I wait a few beats before turning back to my brother.
“You fucking love her.” Jackson’s accusation is the first words spoken after the girls leave. The wind gets knocked out of me for a second and I give myself a moment before answering.
“I do fucking not,” I deny as my heart rate picks up. Okay, what the fuck is that about?
“You fucking do.” He shakes his head, pissed off.
“Shut the fuck up.” I brush off his words and try to smash down the feeling his remark stirs in me. Love? Fuck no. I don’t love Bell. Yes, I care for her and think she is someone special, but love? No fucking way.
“See why this just became a problem?” Jackson turns and asks Nix.
I don’t even respond this time. My head is all messed up with the thought of loving Bell.
Fuck me, what the fuck is happening here?
Twenty-Two BELL
Sex trafficking?
The words ring in my head while dread weighs my body down.
Paige could be alive. But living what sort of life?
“It’s not true.” I shake my head and turn to Holly. She reaches for my hand and I take it like a lifeline, like an anchor reminding me I’m here, in the present, receiving the worst news.
“Our contact is legit, but we’re gonna keep digging. We’re going to keep looking, Bell.” Jesse keeps talking.
“What are they doing to her? What sort of life is that?” I try to shake off the visions of what my poor sister might be going through, but the heaviness of the situation is too much.
“We knew any sort of news might be shocking, Bell. But we can’t get caught up in all of that.” Jesse tries to calm me again. And I want to so badly, but my mind and my body are at war and I have no idea who will win out, which will shut down first.
I’m not naïve to think Paige hasn’t been in danger, but sitting here and hearing where they think she is, the loss hits me all over again.
“You need to breathe, Bell.” Kelly tries to calm me this time. I look up from Jesse’s lap and see all the ladies, sitting close, all concerned for me. Nix and Sy are still standing near the bar, talking with Jackson.
“You’re right, I have to calm down.” I take a deep breath then move off Jesse’s lap. “So what’s happening? What are we doing to find her?” I wipe at my face and prepare to process more. Why are we sitting around if we have a name?
“You’re not doing anything right now, sweetheart. We have this handled.”
“Handled?” I repeat. “Jesse, I want to be a part of this. I want to help.”
“And I understand all that, baby, but we have to be smart if we have any chance of getting her back.” He takes my hands in his grip, keeping me still. “You have to trust that I have you.” I hold his stare, letting his calmness and the ferocity of his words calm me. “We all have you, Bell.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
“Jesse, I’m off. I’ll check in tomorrow,” Jackson calls across the clubhouse, breaking our moment.
Jesse looks up. “Yep.” He nods his goodbye before looking back down at me.
“You okay, Bell?” Jackson asks before leaving.
“Yeah, I’m good.” My body is shaking in fear, and uncertainty but I can’t let it control me. I need to be strong for Paige.
“I’ll check in tomorrow.” I nod, offer a small smile then watch him turn and walk out.
“I need to go pick up X from Mom and Dad’s. You going to be okay, Bell?” Holly stands but looks down at me.
“I’m good, thank you so much.” I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze.
“You got it, babe.” She winks and then gathers her stuff.
“We will find her, Bell. I promise,” Jesse whispers as the room starts moving again, and the moment is put away as we all try to move forward.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jesse,” I whisper. A new fear sets in. What if it’s too late? I know Jesse said they have it under control, but what if we’re too late?
“Look at me, Bell. I will do everything in my power to find her. I mean it, with everything in me. As long as you promise me you’ll leave it to us.”
“Jesse, she’s my sister.”
“Get it out of your head. We are on this, sweetheart. You have to stay out of it. These men are not going to deal with a cute nurse. We need to have a plan, and that plan includes keeping you safe. Okay?” He leans down and presses his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. “Promise me now, you’ll stay out of it.” I lick at my lips before nodding slightly. “Words, woman. I need them.”
“Yes, Jesse. I’ll leave it to you,” I lie, hating myself for it. Jesse has to understand I’m in this all the way. Shutting me out isn’t an option.
“Good girl.” He nods, happy with my cooperation.
“I just want to help,” I add, needing him to know where I stand.
“I know, baby, and you are. Come on, you need sleep.” He stands and drags me up with him. We say good night to everyone who’s left before Jesse leads me to his room. This wasn’t how I was expecting our night to end. Now, I’m exhausted and just want to pass out.