“I’m sorry!” he yelled back with irritation but I could tell that he was full of panic.

“I’m fine.” I assured them. “This isn’t what it looks like.” I said with a nervous laugh. My head was finally starting to clear and as I glanced around at the mess I had left, I understood why they were so upset. I bottle of vodka lay open on its side, its contents spilled on the floor. A picture of my deceased mother lay broken around me and I was covered in my own blood. “I was just sad.” I explained as my eyes landed on the crumpled picture of my mother. Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed hard, trying to hold them back.

“Here” my Aunt said as she pushed the water back to my mouth. A loud banging came from the front door and my Aunt’s companion hurried to answer it.

“I’m okay, really.” I said after swallowing a sip of water. I pushed to my feet to stand and nearly lost my balance. My Aunt jumped up beside me and grabbed my arm. Two police officers rounded the corner into the living room followed by a three medics.

“What happened?” the tall huskier officer asked but he was looking at my Aunt.

“I don’t know. I found her lying on the floor with her Mother’s picture.” She explained but her words became muffled under her sobbing. “She tried to kill herself!” she sputtered as the medics surrounded me and began checking my vitals and the wound on my hand.

“No! No! I didn’t try to kill myself!” I shouted over their conversation but no one paid any attention to my protests. My tears gave way as I began to panic. “Please! I just want to go home!” I sobbed. The older female medic looked at me sadly. I hated that look. The look of pity I received from everyone after my parents had died. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I began to fight against them. One medic was holding my injured hand and another was taking my blood pressure from the other arm. I felt claustrophobic, struggling desperately to free myself from their hold. The police officer who was talking with my Aunt took notice and began to shout at me to calm down. His partner, a younger female put her hand on her weapon as her eyes darted back and forth between us. The third medic had disappeared and returned quickly with a gurney. The harder I fought the tighter they held me. Within seconds, I was lying on my back strapped to the device. My Aunt’s cries faded into the background as the wheeled me down the hall and out of the front door. The sunlight was blinding and the surge of heat made my stomach turn. The medics slid me into the back of their ambulance and closed the door behind us. The sudden darkness made it impossible for me to see and carsickness took over where the warmth had left off. “Please…” I cried as the older nurse wiped my hair from my forehead.

I took long calming breathes and finally managed to stop crying as the ambulance pulled into the hospital. They pulled me out and pushed me into the emergency room where doctors and nurses where waiting for us. The nurse left my side and talked quietly to a doctor in the far corner of the room. I could not make out anything they were saying but the doctor’s eyes never left my face and I felt utterly humiliated. I let my headrest back on the gurney and stared up at the white ceiling tiles. After a few moments, the doctor was by my side, adjusting his latex gloves.

“How are you feeling today Ms. Townsend?” he asked as he pulled up my eyelids to inspect my pupils.

“Like an idiot.” I replied with irritation.

“Well, there isn’t much I can do for that, but I can fix up that nasty gash on your hand.” he said with a slight smile and I relaxed a little. “You think we can take off these restraints?” he asked and I nodded my head.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” I replied. He began undoing the leather belt like devices and looking over my hand.

“Well, I am inclined to believe you.” He said and nodded to the police outside of the door. They walked away from the opening and he set back to fixing my hand. “I’ve never seen someone try to kill themselves by cutting their hand.” He continued as he pulled a small piece of glass from the wound. I reflexively tried to pull my hand back from him but he held onto it tightly. “This is going to hurt a little.” He warned and I nodded, biting my lip. He cleaned the cut and by the time he was done, I had four stitches and a pink gauze bandage wrapped around my hand and up my wrist. I explained what had happened while he worked and I felt surprisingly better when the process was finished. “Life doesn’t get any easier. You have been through a lot. It’s okay to ask for help.” He said kindly and I assured him that I would talk to someone next time I was feeling sad.

“How are you feeling?” my Aunt called from the doorway. I did not know how long she had been standing there.

“I’m fine.” I answered as I slid off the bed.

“You have no idea…” she began but her words trailed off and I did not encourage her to finish.

Chapter Seven

The ride home seemed to last for hours as I explained to my Aunt what had really happened last night. I was sad, but I never intended to hurt myself. She lectured me for drinking too much and I did not argue. I did not intend to ever touch another drop of alcohol again. All of her sadness was replaced with anger and I preferred it that way. I could not stand to see one more person look at me with pity.

We pulled into the garage and I could not wait to take a shower and go back to sleep.

“Get ready. You still have a few more classes today.” She called from behind me.

“You’re kidding right?” I asked.

“You think you deserve a day off after all you put me through? I’ll be lucky if I ever see Dan again!” she said angrily.

“Dan?” I asked, having no clue what she was talking about.

“My date from last night. You nearly gave him a heart attack!” she yelled down the hall. I rolled my eyes and closed the bathroom door behind me.

I showered as quickly as I could with one arm. It was harder than I had anticipated. Getting dressed was no easier and by the time I was ready an hour had passed.

“Let’s go.” My Aunt called from outside of my room.

“I can drive myself.” I replied. She pulled my bedroom door open and glared at me. “Two hours ago you couldn’t let go of me and now you’re treating me like you hate me.” I mumbled as I gathered my books.

“I don’t hate you. If I did, I wouldn’t care if you didn’t go to school or drank yourself into oblivion.” She shot back. I realized she was right. All this time living with her, I assumed I was a burden to her. It was nice to know how much she cared, even if she showed it by punishing me.

“I’m ready.” I said as I shrugged on a hoodie and pulled the sleeve down to try to hide my pink bandage.

“It’s too hot for that.” She said as I walked by her and down the hall. I ignored her and continued out to her car.

We did not speak on the trip to my school. I kept the window down trying to keep myself cool but nothing seemed to help.

When we arrived, I hoped out of the car and headed towards the building. I heard a car door slam behind me and I stopped and looked back. My aunt was hurrying to catch up with me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.

“I have to sign you in.” she responded and continued to walk passed me. I reluctantly followed her.

“I’m an adult. This isn’t high school. I don’t think I need you to sign me in.” I said but she kept walking. When we reached the office, I hung out by the door as my Aunt spoke to the secretary. Mr. Honor stepped into the office and placed some papers onto the counter. The office assistant turned beat red as she saw him and began nervously tugging at a loose dirty blonde tendril that had fallen free from her bun. He smiled at her and I realized that this was his date from the theater. After a moment, he turned to leave and I tried my best to look anywhere but his eyes, but I could not help myself.

“You missed my class. Come see me after you are done here.” he said seriously. I bit my lip and nodded as he walked away.

“All set. The counselor is going to make time for you. I’ll be back to get you when school is over.” My Aunt called from the counter.

“I can get a ride.” I replied. She waved her hand to dismiss my comment. I left the office and walked slowly down the empty hall to Mr. Honor’s class, tugging nervously at my bandage.

I knocked at his door and waited for him to answer.

“Come in.” he called and I opened the door and walked inside. The classroom was empty and he was removing his button up shirt. His undershirt was black and it matched his tattoo that wrapped his arm and stopped just at his neck. He folded his shirt and laid it over the back of his chair.

“What happened?” he asked as he glanced down at my hand.

“I had an accident.” I replied nervously as I bit my lip. His eyes tightened and his expression was unreadable.

“I saw you at the theater yesterday day. That was…,” he said as his eyes danced up and down my body.

“Awkward” I replied, finishing his sentence. He laughed quietly.

“Unexpected” he corrected me. “Ms. Townsend, do you remember what I said about being late to my class?” he asked and I bit my lip again as I remembered our last encounter in his classroom, alone. He sat down on the edge of his desk and waited for my response. I did not know what to say and after a moment, he motioned for me to come closer. I walked over towards him and sat my books down on a desk in the front row.

“I’m really sorry. It has been a crazy morning and…” I began to explain. He stood up quickly and in one swift motion, he bent me over onto his desk. Before I could protest, his hand can down hard across my bottom. I gasped loudly at the sudden pain as he smacked me once again. His body bent down over top of mine and his lips brushed against my ear.

“Shh…” he whispered as his hand rubbed my stinging bottom. He stood upright again and smacked, this time harder. I curled my fingertips over the edge of his desk as he smacked again and again. I could not breathe and I pressed my lips together to keep from moaning. I was overwhelmed with embarrassment and pain. His hand rubbed gently over me where he had struck. His fingers dipped between my thighs and the pain gave way to pure wanting. As the stinging subsided, he hit again. As quickly as it began, it was over. I lay bent over his desk gasping for air.

“Get to class.” He breathed heavily but it took a moment before I could move. I lay there as he circled the desk and began putting back on his shirt. After a moment, I regained my composure and stood upright. He came back around and grabbed my books, holding them out to me. I took them, unable to look him in the eye and left the room as quickly as I could.

Chapter Eight

The rest of the day, I no longer thought about the crazy morning at the hospital. All I could think about was Mr. Honor. I did not know if I could ever go back into his classroom again and at the same time that is all I wanted to do.

I walked out to the curb in the front of the building and sat down as I waited for my Aunt to pick me up. The students came and went and soon the parking lot was all but empty. The teachers began to file out and I opened one of my texts books and read over the things I had missed. I spotted Mr. Honor walking with the office assistant and my cheeks burned with jealousy. They walked over to her car and talked for a few minutes before he kissed her on the cheek and she got in and left. I went back to my textbook and did not realize he had walked back towards me.

“No ride?” he asked.

“My Aunt is hit and miss when it comes to responsibility.” I replied, irritated that she did not let me drive myself.

“I never miss.” He replied and a shiver ran down my spine. His eyes burned into me and for a moment, all I could do was stare up at him helplessly. “Come on. I’ll take you home.” He said and turned to walk away. He did not give me the opportunity to protest. I jumped up from the curb and followed behind him. He opened the passenger side of a sleek little black sports car and took my books from my hands. I slid in and watched him walk to the driver’s side as I bit my lip. His car smelled just like him and I inhaled deeply, not able to get enough of his scent. He threw my books into the back seat and got in next to me. He looked angry and annoyed that he had to drive me and I suddenly felt self-conscious.

He pulled out quickly and if I was with anyone else I would have been scared, but I trusted him. As we reached the light just off school property, he leaned his body across mine, pausing to breathe in the scent of my hair. I sat frozen in place. He grabbed the seatbelt and pulled it across my body.

“Wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” He said with a smirk and stepped on the gas. I stared at him as he drove, in awe of his perfection. “What happened?” he asked, his eyes darting down to my pink bandage.

“Long story” I replied as I tugged at it nervously. I felt his eyes on me but I did not explain further.

“What happened?” he asked again, this time with irritation in his voice. I sighed heavily and thought about which details I should give him.

“I drank a little last night. I knocked down a picture and accidentally cut myself trying to clean up the mess.” I explained holding up my hand. “No big deal.” I explained with sarcasm. He whipped the car to the side of the road and before I could say anything, he had unbuckled his seatbelt and had turned facing me. His mouth was dangerously close to mine and I struggled to steady my breathing. His eyes were hard and full of anger.

“Do not talk to me like that. It pisses me off and you don’t want to see what I do when I am pissed off.” He barked angrily and I his tone was frightening. My breathing accelerated and I tried my best not to show my fear. He stared at me for a long moment before taking his hand and gently running the pad of his thumb against my cheek and down over my bottom lip, his breath warm against my face. His expression softened for a moment as his eyes danced from mine to my lips. “You don’t want this.” He whispered quietly, warning me. He had no idea how much I wanted him. Ever part of my body ached for him, for his touch.