She just looked out the window, ignoring me.

She was sixteen. Did she really think she’d keep him entertained? Satisfied?

Girls that young haven’t even grown into their bodies yet. Kind of pathetic really, the hopes they dreamed up. Like we’d fall in love just as we were starting to have fun?

“Shit,” Will groaned, his drunk-ass like a limp dick sitting in his seat next to her. “She’s ready to ride a fence post with how horny she is for him.”

Both of us laughed. “Don’t be an asshole, man,” I told him. “Maybe she’s just horny, period. Bitches have needs, too, after all.”

I winced inwardly, knowing how fucking nasty I just sounded.

I shook it off and watched Rika in the rearview mirror, her body going rigid and barely breathing. Her helpless eyes drifted to Kai, probably wondering why he wasn’t stepping in and shutting us up, but that wasn’t Kai and she had no heroes in here.

“We’re just messing with you,” Will drawled. “We do it to each other, too.”

He smiled at her, his eyes closing as he drifted off.

“You know, the thing about Michael…” I continued, resting my head back against the seat as I drove, “he wants you, too. He watches you. Did you know that?” I shot her a look in the rearview mirror. “Man, the look on his face when he saw you dancing tonight.”

She’d looked pretty good, actually, but it was nothing compared to the places Winter took me when I watched her.

I laid on the gas, speeding past Rika’s house and racing toward my oblivion where Winter didn’t exist.

Forget her. Just forget her.

I saw her shoot up in her seat, watching her house pass and me not stop.

“Yeah,” I went on. “He never gets that look over a girl. I’d say he was damn close to taking you home and popping that little cherry of yours.”

“Kai?” Rika protested, not wanting to deal with me. “We passed my house. What’s going on?”

“You want to know why he didn’t take you home?” I asked her, hitting the locks so she couldn’t jump out. “He doesn’t like virgins. He never wants to be that important to someone, and it’s a lot less complicated to fuck people who know there’s a difference between sex and love.”

She turned her gaze from Will to Kai to me, fear in her eyes.

Sex and love.

Boys will be boys, and she teased you, didn’t she? She wouldn’t let you have it, I heard my mother’s voice in my head.

Sex was power. Degrading, filthy, mean, unclean power.

Love always hurt. Sooner or later.

“Where are we going?” Rika demanded.

But I ignored her. “You saw the girl at the old church today,” I mused, remembering her in the catacombs watching the guy and girl on our first Devil’s Night stop. “You liked it, didn’t you?”

I turned left, down a dark gravel road, and I saw her try to peer out the front windshield to see where we were going.

“You wanted to be her,” I said. “Pushed down on that floor and fucked…”

Because even as unclean and degrading as sex was, the feelings were strong, and they were real. Sex and fear were the only things that made you real.

Little girls just don’t understand what boys need, my mother would say.

It was the one thing she was right about. We didn’t need anything we didn’t take ourselves. No questions, no tears, no touching or soft words… Just fucking sit there and don’t try to be special.

“You know why?” I asked Rika. How I knew she wanted to be that girl, pushed down and fucked? “Because it feels good. And we’ll make you feel so good if you let us.”

Her eyes raced from Kai to me to the locked doors as worry set in.

“You know,” I told her. “When guys let a girl into their gang, there are two ways for her to be initiated.” I pulled the car to a stop in the middle of the woods on the isolated road. “She either gets beat-in.” I shut off the car, killed the lights, and locked eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “Or fucked-in.”

She shook her head. “I want to go home.”

Her voice sounded so fucking pitiful, and she looked like a kid, sinking to the bottom of a river, not wanting death but knowing it was coming.

No, don’t. I don’t want to, I remember myself saying when I was a kid, and I had no power.

But like me, there was nothing Rika could do.

“That’s not one of the choices, Little Monster,” I taunted.

Both Trevor and I turned our heads, starting straight at her.

She lost it, realization dawning. She grabbed the door handle and yanked on it over and over again, frantic to get out.

“We can take what we want from you,” I warned, opening my door. “One after the other, and no one would believe you, Rika.”

I climbed out, moved to her door behind me, and opened it, yanking her out as Will still slept it off in the other back seat.

Slamming the door shut, I pushed her up against it, pressing my body into hers and holding her wrists down at her side.

Was I doing this? For real?

“We’re untouchable,” I told her, looking down at her. “We can do whatever we want.”

She breathed fast, in shallow breaths, squirming against me.

Trevor had gotten out of the car and come around behind me.

“Kai, please?” she begged for his help, still not knowing it was Michael’s brother behind the mask. He’d had the hots for her forever, but she couldn’t stand him. She wanted his older brother, and he was pissed.

“He won’t help you,” I muttered.

And then I pinned her hands over her head, against the car as she cried out.

“I’m going to feel so good,” I whispered against her forehead and closed my eyes, envisioning Winter in my hands.

If I get it through my head and treat her like trash, then I can do the same things to Winter. I can throw her away.

Like nothing.

Reaching behind her, I grabbed her ass. “You know you want to ride this.”

“Damon,” she gasped, turning her head away, “take me home. I know you’re not going to hurt me.”

“Oh, yeah?” I threatened. “Then why have you always been afraid of me?”

Did she really believe I wouldn’t do this? Or did she think she could talk me down?

I had no respect for her. She had no value. She was a warm body.

Yeah, she saved my ass earlier when we torched the gazebo in town. But if I couldn’t have Winter, then Michael wasn’t having Rika. If anyone deserved to come tonight, it was Winter. Who did Rika think she was?

I held her wrists above her head with one hand, pawed her ass with the other, and kissed a trail across her cheek.

I want this.

“Damon, no!” she shouted. “Let me go!”

But then I slammed my mouth down on hers, my teeth cutting into my mouth, and I just tried to see Winter in my head. It was her.

Hurt her. It would be over if I could just hurt her and break her goddamn heart.

“Help!” Rika cried.

“He doesn’t want you,” I whispered, running my hand up her body and cupping her breast, my stomach rolling with nausea as I felt her struggle.

Please, I don’t want to.

Shhh, baby, I heard my mother again.

Oh, God.

“But we do, Rika,” I choked out, clearing my throat and forcing myself on. “We want you so bad. Being with us will be like having a blank check, baby. You can have anything you want.” I bit her bottom lip. “Come on.”

She jerked away, growling, “I’ll never want you!”

Fine. I grabbed her by the collar, hauled her away from the car, and flung her over to Trevor in his waiting arms.

“Kai,” she gasped, a shred of hope left in her voice.

“Maybe you’ll want him, then,” I said.

Trevor wrapped his arms around her, crushing the little monster.

“Stop!” she yelled.

And then she raised her hand, slapping him across the mask.

A pang of admiration hit me and I faltered, seeing more of Winter in her than I wanted to. She was a fighter.

Hit him again. Like I should’ve done to my mother long before I finally did.

Hit him again.

Hit me.

But he threw her onto the ground, her body landing on the cold, wet leaves, and she flipped over, scurrying backward, trying to get away.

Trevor lunged for her, coming down on top of her, and I cocked my head, watching carefully.

He looked like he was whispering something in her ear, but I couldn’t hear.

Then she belted, “Get off me!”

He grabbed her hair, shouting back to me, “Hold her arms!”

“No!” Rika cried, thrashing and kicking. “Get off!”

I didn’t budge.

Trevor held her hands above her head with one hand and her neck with the other, and she tried to get free of his hold but couldn’t.

She couldn’t.

She couldn’t stop what was happening.

I blinked. No. I didn’t want this. I wanted to scare her. Threaten her, frighten her, run to the edge and nearly lose my balance, but…

She fought. Like many of us should have learned how to do so much sooner.

“Enough,” I said.

But he didn’t hear me. He kept struggling with her.

I said it louder, “Enough!”

Trevor froze for a moment, turning his head.

I charged over, grabbed him, and threw him off, reaching down and dragging Rika back up to her feet by her sweatshirt.

“Stop crying,” I gritted out, holding her by collar. “We weren’t going to hurt you, but now you know that we can.”

I grabbed her by the back of her hair, her face flushed, upset, and still scared out of her mind, just like Winter that first night I broke in. “Michael doesn’t want you, and neither do we,” I breathed out. “You get that? I want you to stop watching us and stop following us like a pathetic dog begging for someone to notice her.” And then I shoved her away, seeing Winter stumbling back from me. “Get a fucking life of your own, Rika, and stay the hell away from us. No one wants you.”