“You told me you loved him, the night you called. Do you remember?”

Ben nodded.

“He loves you, too. I can see it. He’s going crazy. I recognize the look. It’s how I would look if Josiah or Mateo were in that bed.”

Ben didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure what to say. Tristan took that as a sign to continue. “It makes you stronger...not weaker, opening yourself up to someone. He’s worthy of it. I can tell. You are too, Ben. You probably don’t see it. I know it took me a long time to see it. Probably too long and I still have my days but I’m worth it, and you are as well. You’re worth loving and being loved.”

Ben wanted nothing more than for that to be true. He wasn’t sure if it was yet, but he wanted it to be. That’s the difference between where he was then and now.

Ben closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “I let her down, Tristan. I let Bonnie down.”

“No, you didn’t. You were a child. If mistakes we made as children were always held against us, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Mateo definitely wouldn’t. Maybe just Josiah.” Tristan smiled. Happiness was a good look on him.

“And Dante. I think he would as well.” Dante was a good man.

Tristan nodded. There was more to say, so much more. He needed to speak to Dante but there were a few things Ben needed to get out first.

“There’s a girl. I don’t know if she’s real or not. I guess she has to be because Dante saw her the first time I did.” He wasn’t sure how she morphed with Bonnie though. How he dreamed her and Bonnie together. Maybe he would never know. “She lives in the park where I was attacked.”

“Someone called 9-1-1 from your phone after you hung up with me. They were gone by the time the police arrived, but it was a woman.”

It was her. She’d saved him. She’d stroked his head and held him, not leaving him alone. Ben knew it.

“She has blonde hair and a red jacket. She might be in or around a tunnel. I need you to get her somewhere safe for me. Put her up in a hotel or something until I can get out.” He couldn’t take care of Bonnie while she was alive but he could do something for this girl. There was nothing Ben needed more.

“Done. What else?” Tristan asked.

It took Ben a moment to organize his thoughts. Tristan waited patiently until he did. “You said you weren’t as good a friend to me as I was to you. Hell, I probably said the same thing but I wasn’t that great either. I wasn’t real with you. Not with who I really was. I was no more real with you than you were with me. You’re my best friend. You always have been. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve given me more than I ever let you know.” He’d always let Tristan think it was Ben who gave. But he didn’t. Not really.

Ben saw the emotion swim in Tristan’s eyes. He’d needed to hear that as badly as Ben needed to say it.

“Thank you. For everything. For avenging my sister when I couldn’t.”

Because Mateo wouldn’t have done what he’d done if Tristan didn’t tell him about it. And Tristan had done it for Ben. Both Tristan and Mateo, hell, Josiah as well because Ben knew that none of them would have gone through with it unless all three lovers were on board. Congressman Worthington was gone and he had three men to thank for it. They’d done it for Ben. For Bonnie. It was the only way his father would ever pay. Both Ben and Tristan knew that. Bonnie was dead and there was no proof, no evidence, but Ben knew. He knew.

And just maybe, they’d avenged other girls too.

“You’re welcome,” Tristan replied simply. It would be the last time any of them spoke of it.

“Do you want me to get Dante?” Tristan asked.

Ben’s gut cramped. His heart hurt, worse than the pain from any beating. “Paper and pen.”

Tristan’s eyebrows pulled together but he got what Ben asked for.

I don’t want you to be my drug of choice anymore than you do. I have to get my head on straight. If we’re going to have any chance at a future, I have some things I have to work through myself.

I would suspect you do as well.

Love, Ben

Ben folded the paper and handed it to Tristan.

“Does the offer still stand? San Francisco?” Ben asked.

Ben knew Tristan’s answer before he gave it. “Always.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

Three months later...

Ben walked out of Elliot’s office. The poor man probably had his fill of Josiah’s messed up friends. He had both Tristan and Ben to deal with now.